A Black Panther Movie Isn't That Hard

So, with Marvel's Movie Machine reaching optimum levels as far as production quality and with Guardians of the Galaxy, a previously unknown franchise to fans, getting rave reviews all across the board, the big question being asked is "Who's next?" And it makes sense. After all, it seemed like Marvel was betting it all on introducing a set number of heroes and building the universe specifically around them (though, in fairness, it's arguable that Iron Man was in the Guardians' position until six years ago). Now, that they've proven that they can make quality product while still taking a degree of risk on characters, it's only reasonable that fanboys would be even more eager their respective favorites to get a turn at bat.

With all that said....Black Panther.

This is that one movie Kevin Feige swears to the Old Gods and the New is in development almost annually at this point. And a lot people got their mouths watering after a proposed release schedule for the next five years of Marvel movies was spread across the internet, but that was proven to be fan-made shenanigans. Allegedly, there is a script and an active casting call in the works, but at this point, fans will probably only believe it when they see it. With that in mind, there are a handful of things that a good Black Panther movie needs to have.

1). Strong Black Women: Wakanda is supposed to be a technologically advanced society apart from the rest of Africa and, ultimately, the world. It should also be culturally advanced. Most incarnations of Black Panther depict the fictional country as thumbing its nose at the worst parts of Western culture on every level. A big one the movie should highlight is its treatment of women. Now, granted....with Fox not letting go of the X-Men rights anytime soon (even though Marvel could totally shoehorn her in on the technicality that Storm was once an Avenger) the chances of us seeing a budding romance between T'Challa and Storm are about as likely as Ron Paul ever being President. But there's still no shortage of tough women at Panther's side. His sister, Shuri almost definitely has to play a big role. I would run include a few fantastic scenes of her acting impulsively, leaping headfirst out of jet (like Captain America, making it another snub at the West), leading an attack against someone like the Rhino. It would be somewhat reminiscent of the rhino scene in 300. This would also be an opportunity to outdo Sony's Paul Giamatti Rhino the way they're outdoing Fox's Quicksilver. I suppose you could go with the Dora Milaje, T'Challa's official bodyguards/wives-in-training, but they have to get rid of the "wives in training" part because that sounds way too much like "concubines."

2). African Actors: Let's face it, guys. Halle Berry as Storm (even though the writers and wigmakers also deserve equal blame) was the best possible example of selecting a high profile Black name for a character of color as opposed to actual casting. And the reactions to the NWA cast list and Zoe Saldana playing Nina Simone should be enough evidence to Hollywood that "close enough" is not a great way to go about casting characters of color. There's basically no downside to getting African actors to play characters that live in Africa. I would say this shouldn't have to be said, but the MENSA candidate that made Prometheus has proven me wrong. This is an opportunity for Marvel to show some real understanding of what representation on the big screen would mean to little black kids. Speaking of which....

3). Djimon Hounsou: Good looking, charismatic, talented actor, physically imposing enough to probably break my 6'4, 250 pound ass in half. So, here's a guy who was basically the perfect person to play the Black Panther. Ten years ago. Although he voiced the titular character in the short lived, kinda-sorta-didn't-get-off-the-ground cartoon series, time was our enemy in getting the Gladiator star in the costume. Still, I could totally see Hounsou playing T'Chaka, Panther's father who was assassinated by Ulysses Klaw, via flashbacks. It would show some respect towards the fact that there have been attempts over the years to establish BP as a marquee character.

4). Wakanda As A Strong Nation: I know this is something else that really shouldn't have to be said, but truthfully, I know Marvel, with how awesome their recent offerings have been, probably has the strong urge to have Wakanda seem awesome....but not as awesome as Captain America. But here's the thing. I know Disney isn't likely to be down for a story where America is portrayed as being slightly sinister, so I'm not suggesting a movie where Wakanda takes an "Us vs. Them" narrative (even though that's exactly how Wakanda is in the comics), but I wouldn't mind seeing Reginald Hudlin's "Captain America Visited Here Once And Was Promptly Thrown Out On His Ass Because Fuck White Saviors" flashback played out on screen. Marvel has already been praised for allowing Kelly Sue DeConnick to play around with the turning the White Savior narrative on its ear, so this is a no-brainer for them, really. In the comics, while the rest of the world was being infiltrated by shape shifting alien zealots, this is a nation that sent them packing to say the least.

5). A Strong Focus On Establishing It's Own Franchise: This is an easy one. It doesn't even need to be an origin story. The first movie, Klaw killed T'Challa's dad (5 minute flashback at the beginning) and, as the King of Wakanda years later, Panther has become even more obsessed than ever with tracking him down and bringing him to justice. But Shuri and his council notice it's putting him off his game as a ruler, causing him to turn a blind eye to his elite police, lead by the White Wolf (T'Challa's adoptive older brother), using aggressive tactics to root out Western spies and other outside threats. As it turns out, the Wolf is working with Klaw to orchestrate an uprising among the people. Allude to the coming of Klaw in a sequel through a couple of faint appearances a la Thanos in Guardians.

In truth, a Black Panther movie really shouldn't be all that hard. If we can get Ant-Man and Rocket Raccoon and Loki reincarnated into a lovable little scamp of a supervilliain, I think Marvel can make this happen. Then again, I could be wrong.

The Week In Geek 8/27/14

So, one of this week's Geeky Things That People Were Talking About was the announcement that, Donald Glover, to the apparently overwhelming joy of Twitter, will be voicing Miles Morales in an episode of Ultimate Spider-Man. On one hand, it's cool that the social media campaign that inspired Miles in the first place gets a (kinda) win in seeing their idol on screen in some form. I'm just not entirely sure this is that much of a "win." Mainly because Ultimate Spider-Man is a uniquely awful half hour of television. The thing that makes it so notably bad is that a). Spectacular Spider-Man, a perfectly decent show got bumped for this and b). it's a titled after a Brian Michael Bendis work but follows it in the same way the latest batch of X-Men movies follow the comics (meaning there are characters with similar names and attributes, but aside from that....nope). I could go into everything this show does wrong but I digress. Donald Glover.

I'll say this for Marvel: They draw we better
edge-ups than DC (sorry, Mister Terrific).

Let me just say right away that I like Donald Glover. As this is being written, I'm actually listening to his Because the Internet album. I respect that he (as I've found out in the past couple of months) has a fanbase that is, to say the least, rabid. So, I don't have any personal distaste for the guy (I'm really trying hard to save myself any fan backlash here because I've seen them in action).

With that said, he's no Spider-Man, cartoon or otherwise. Black, white, whatever...there's a certain atmosphere of iconic, dormant heroism to everyone to play/voice Marvel's poster child. Tobey Maguire had a wide-eyed, nebbish Luke Skywalker quality to him. Andrew Garfield is a dorky smartass more like the Ultimate Peter from the comics. Even Christopher Daniel Barnes from the animated series that dominated most of the 90s had an unassuming everyman quality. Donald Glover is....well, Troy Barnes. Putting Troy Barnes in a Spider-Man costume is nothing less than fan service. And that's okay. With superhero comics, if they run long enough, it's inevitable that they're all subjected to a degree of fan service. It's just that sometimes, that works out for the better (Dick Grayson as Batman, Bucky Barnes as Captain America, Wolverine being on virtually every major Marvel team possible) and sometimes you get Childish Gambino being snarky in a Disney cartoon for 30 minutes.

Then again, I really could have stopped this little analysis at "Ultimate Spider-Man is a uniquely awful cartoon" anyway.

Anywho, my comic reviews for the week are available on Black Nerd Problems for your perusal. As always, feel free to comment, like, share and troll as you see fit. This week, I took a look at.....

All New X-Men: I have to say that I like the groove Bendis has found for his take on the X-franchise. The Original X-Men are at their best when they're getting into trouble while the staff isn't around. I like the direction of the whole "different factions fighting for different aspects of the dream" thing, but the Originals, not having all of that baggage, serve as a nice break from all that without completely departing from it either.

Batman Eternal: Finally, some major plotline payoff!!! This is definitely one of the top 3 best issues of the book. James Tynion IV did a pretty good job of balancing all the plotlines he had to work with. Granted, he conveniently didn't have as many to juggle as pretty much every other writer has, but still. Masterful job getting to Gotham's big upheaval. I'm VERY excited about what's next.

Aaron McGruder Isn't The Problem

I've never met Aaron McGruder, but I suspect he's a kindred spirit: a guy who doesn't really seek to offend, but questions whether he's doing his job well when he hasn't offended anyone. Of course, this is most evident by his crowning achievement, The Boondocks, the satirical saga of two inner city kids sent to live with their grandfather in the suburbs. The show was simply hilarious in its good moments and, in its greatest moments, turned on a floodlight aimed directly at Black America's laundry hamper, usually held steady by Huey Freeman, part Charlie Brown/part Eldridge Cleaver. The resulting feedback was mostly outstanding (except for the final season) but received choice words from the likes of Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and Tyler Perry.

Sharpton was offended by McGruder's "Return of the King" episode in which Martin Luther King Jr. returned to tell contemporary Black America to get its shit together in an epic dress down that rivals Alec Baldwin's speech in Glengary Glen Ross. Prior to his rant, Toon King had been labeled a traitor, accused of sympathizing with terrorism and even had his cause co-opted by top 20 mainstream radio. Dr. King was in marches that were met with hoses, dogs and violence....so this was a walk in the park when you think about it. Allegedly, he was put off by Fictional King's use of an "N" word my editor won't let me use over at Black Nerd Problems (because advertisers and shit). CartoonThatIsn'tActuallyMartin Luther King used the "N" word 16 times in an episode about the civil rights movement. Django Unchained, a movie about slavery, used the same word exactly 115 times. Oddly enough, there's been no comment from Sharpton.

Then, there was the time Tyler Perry and his disciples fans had a bone to pick with the show about some social commentary made in the show's third season. "Pause" was an episode in which Granddad auditioned for a stage play directed by Winston Jerome, a cross-dressing Perry analog who used Christianity as his own personal cult. Madea was less than pleased.

Since then, The Boondock's final season, sans McGruder, has been met with somewhat dismal reception from an audience who either left with the show's creator or stayed and decided the magic has gone.

And now, there's Black Jesus, a live action Adult Swim series about a slightly ratchet incarnation of Jesus Christ himself, living in Compton. I won't bother giving some detailed review because there's a perfectly good one at BNP already. As far as production quality goes, it's exactly what you would expect from the creators network that brought you Loiter Squad. The primetime satire isn't looking to be high brow humor by any stretch of the imagination. It's moderately funny and blatantly geared towards snatching up the laughter of post grad stoners. It's already garned some criticism of its premise and execution being somehow sacreligious and offensive although reviewers seem to get the joke. But let's be honest here. What's the problem? The obviously religious theme? When examined closely, the show is really more Pineapple Express than Dogma, so that can't be it. The language? The show isn't anymore vulgar than McGruder's previous work.

The Son of God spreading peace and love amongst the masses while his detractors and disbelievers wait in the wings to expedite his failure? Well, that happened in the "source material" so they can't possibly be mad about that. Jesus is also accompanied by friends who help him when they can, some of which don't have his best interest in mind and might occasionally co-opt him for their own purposes? Again, pretty close to the original so that probably isn't the issue. So, really, what's the whining about?

If you ask me (not that anyone did), the problem might be a little closer to home for McGruder's naysayers. Much like Boondocks' version of MLK, Black Jesus is the window, the fresh eyes we're asked to view our world and, specifically, ourselves. McGruder's satire, even in its lightest, punch pulling format, is the stranger on the street that hears your conversation and asks, "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" MLK was characterized as a man who never asked to be revered, but challenged those around him, black or white, to ascend to their better selves. The only thing truly offensive was the reception. Even then, is it THAT farfetched to think that, a crusader for social justice in the era of internet comment sections might be chastised, ridiculed, ignored and co-opted by mainstream America? In its thin moments of true social commentary (an athiest cop, an ornery landlord, agnostic gangbangers), Black Jesus isn't making fun of the Judeo-Christian faith or its lord and savior. More than anything, it's McGruder's chin check to those he perceives as paying lip service to their beliefs. McGruder uses prominent figures to make a point, but the point made in the end is rarely the result of the figure as much as it is through the figures' followers. Dr. King finally getting fed up, wondering if it was all worth it? Maybe, maybe not. Some of the people who claim to revere him turning everything he stood for into shameless self promotion and buffonery. That sounds about right (I'm looking at you, Jesse Jackson).

In the digital age, when the internet allows humans to view themselves through self-made avatars in place of taking a real look at themselves and calling "shenanigans," if you're mad at a television show for it's depiction of your "resolve"....if you're angrier about the person doing the pointing than you are at what he's pointing at, guess what? Black Jesus isn't the problem. Cartoon Martin Luther King isn't the problem. Aaron McGruder isn't the problem. You are.

The Week In Geek 8/20/14

My comic reviews for the week are available on Black Nerd Problems for your viewing pleasure. As always, feel free to comment, share or fling feces at anything you like or don't like. This week, I took a look at.....

Batman Eternal: I loved this issue but after writing the review, I went back and read it again and it occurred to me that Batman has the weakest material of all the principal characters....in a Batman book. I'm sort of in the middle about because on one hand, structurally speaking, Batman shouldn't have the weakest material in a Bat-book. On the other hand, if the cost of downplaying Batman (I mean, let's face...dude has had 75 years of character development) is giving Jim Gordon The GAWD all of The Glory, so be it. Because holy shit....watching him give Carmine Falcone's goons the Ice Challenge was fucking epic.

All New Ghost Rider: Okay, it's official- I fucking love this book. But I sort of want them to get away from this Bane venom steroid pills plotline and get a little more supernatural with the threats. So far, we've only seen the Rider in regular old fist fights. I'm not exactly shitting on the new guy, but the Ghost Riders of old have gone up against people like the HULK. The "Worldbreaker" Hulk....the "OhMyGodTheHulkIsAboutToRainOldTestamentArmageddonOnUsAll" Hulk. I'm just saying....I need a fight that's going to set the neighborhood on fire. But it's early, so I'll be patient. For Now.

Can we PLEASE have
Self Destruction as their theme song?

Multiversity: This is a book that really only has problems depending on how you feel about Grant Morrison books. I mean, come on, let's face it. Most Morrison books are pretty much based on whatever he's smoking that week. I'm STILL trying to figure out what the fuck Final Crisis was about. But for all its psuedo scientology babble, I actually really enjoyed this book. How could you not? A black POTUS who is actually Superman? In what world is that not awesome? And the DC spoof version of the Hulk in a diaper? I cried laughing. There were enough easter eggs and Morrison trademark to keep me entertained in a bizarre way, so yeah....I'll be back for the next issue.

Anatomy of a Comic: So You Wanna Write a Shitty Crossover Event.....

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

Okay, so usually, if it comes down to the Big Two, I commonly prefer Marvel crossover events to DC's. Usually, even when they're not great, they're fun reads for the moment (absolutely excluding Age of Ultron). Original Sin is trying, but it's not succeeding. In fact, I will go as far as saying that it is indeed failing. Mike Deodato's artwork is probably the one prevailing awesome is this series, but as far as plot and marketing, I don't understand what this book is going for. It's been a very schizophrenic title thus far. Sometimes, it's a murder mystery....and then it's 28 pages of characters not liking each other....then it's The Secret History of the Secret History of Nick Fury. There's one more issue to go and I still don't understand the point of this book.

-The first problem with this week's issue? The cover:

Daredevil is on this cover....but Daredevil is NOT IN THIS BOOK! He's really not even very involved in the Original Sin event at all with the exception of the big scene where everyone's secrets get revealed or something. It's not even as if it's some kind of quirky "Deadpool Is On Every Cover This Month Because It's Quirky But It's Really Obnoxious" kind of thing. He's just on the cover....for some reason. In a crossover event, every single aspect of the cover (or, really any comic) should be symbolic of or selling you on something taking place IN the book.

-This issue spent a lot of time in flashbacks to tell us that The Orb, Exterminatrix and Dr. Midas are the bad guys in this book. This would be awesome....if we hadn't already known they were the bad guys in this book since the second issue. In fact, was their being in this book at all wasn't very exciting. I mean, Dr. Midas turning things to gold was kinda cool but other than that, these are NOT memorable characters by any stretch of the imagination. In a crossover title, even a shitty character should stick with you. With the right writer, even a stopped clock can be right twice a day. Take DC's Identity Crisis, for example.....

Dr. Light is, for the most part, a shitty villain (I can't possibly be the only person who thinks of Mega Man when I hear his name) and was largely a plot device to facilitate this faction of the Justice League crossing the line in dealing with him, but he's still memorable. He was set up properly without having to involve him in a tie-in somewhere else. His attack on Sue Dibny didn't exactly feel forced (though, to this day, I don't agree it should have gone that far). This is how you create a memorable moment for a bad guy in a big event even when your bad guy sucks.

-So, this big fight with Nick Fury....Aside from Thor, Falcon and Iron Man, should the Avengers be able to maneuver so well in zero gravity?

-Has anyone else noticed that Moon Knight isn't very....Moon Knight-ish? Don't get me wrong. I understand that big companies like Marvel aren't always some well oiled machine between creative talent so, yeah, I get that one hand doesn't usually know what the other hand's doing. But when you have such a memorable incarnation of Moon Knight as the one Warren Ellis has left us with (Brian Wood's got a hell of a challenge following him up), you usually want to incorporate at least SOME pieces of that version in a high profile crossover title.

Come on. Look at this boss!!!

Imagine this guy, Mr. Knight standing in the presence of all these heroes in an all while business suit taking cues from the vengeance god Khonshu (think Norman Osborn in Dark Avengers hearing "the Goblin"). Now, that would make for an interesting addition to this mix of this unlikely (if you don't consider that a lot of either have a movie or are going to have one) cast of characters. Speaking of which....

-This makes (correct me if I'm wrong) the fourth issue where at least half of this large cast is just standing around in a room not liking each other and not understanding what's going on although, in their defense, neither do I. You could have possibly gotten away with this when it was Nick Fury explaining that he's a Secret Guy Whose Secret Is That He Has Secrets, but come on. I mean, you've got guys like the world's best mass murderer (Punisher), space renegades (Gamora and Rocket Raccoon), a super spy type (Winter Soldier) and a guy whose specialty is shrinking small enough to remain out of sight. No way would they have a big fight with Nick Fury robots, be seen with Nick Fury who, for right now, looks like The Bad Guy, not help the Avengers.....and just stay at the scene of the fight, talking.

In a crossover event with a cast this big that affects the rest of your universe, it's okay to move around a little bit. DC's 52 was a good exercise in this point. Granted, I acknowledge that they had a LOT more issues to execute this with, but every aspect of the ongoing story had time to breathe and get its proper development. Much like Game of Thrones, the story was never in a hurry to get back to one thing or the other.

-Did Nick Fury say "goodbye" to Captain America and fly away with the Watcher's eyes just to go to the moonbase....which is basically a few miles from the goddamned space station? Where he knocked Thor (who, despite not having his hammer, is still really strong and pissed off) and the Hulk to? What the fucking fuck?

-It's the 7th issue in an 8 issue series and I'm still not sure what the point of any of this is. In a crossover event, your purpose should be laid out clearly early on. Hell, it should be the reason we pick up the first issue. Civil War...superheroes fighting over the morality of government oversight in superheroism. Secret Invasion....nobody trusts anyone during an alien invasion. Siege....deposing a villain who wants to be a dictator. Original Sin....umm....ummm.....

Of course, the point of this could very well also just stop at "Because It's Crossover Event Season" too. That's a possibility.

The Week in Geek 8/13/14

My comic reviews for the week are available on Black Nerd Problems for your viewing pleasure. As always feel free to like, share, comment, fling poo at anything you love or hate. This week, I took a look at.....

Batman Eternal: Just in terms of going from last week to this week, this has mainly gotten back to being a good book to look at. A story that was mainly about Batman skulking around in the sewers looking for a killer shouldn't be so visually vanilla. This week was a huge improvement....except for two things.

First of all, this is the second week in a row where this book has made Jason Bard look like a complete doofus for the greater good of making Batman look cool.

Look at this:

You've got Batman going all headfirst into action. Killer Croc looking as menacing as ever like he's about to "Hulk Smash" whoever the fuck they're about to fight. And there Jason Bard, Gotham's new top cop, carefully rappelling down the fucking chasm. Granted, there's virtually no way to make a regular guy look cool while climbing, but still. They couldn't have given him a rope or something?

Second: Red Hood's mask. This is a problem and I'm not sure why its disquieted my soul so thoroughly but, goddamnit, it has. It's just gaudy as fuck. I mean, look!!!

You can't tell me that doesn't provoke some questions. Does it mold to his lips? Does he talk through the mouth? Is that mouth supposed to be  moving and we're missing it? I shouldn't be spending this much time asking this many questions about a mouth that doesn't belong to Rosario Dawson. I'm just sayin. Fix this shit, DC.

Batman: Okay, this is a nice way to follow up Zero Year. Instead of throwing us right into the next thing, Scott Snyder and Gerry Duggan give us a grace period and use this mainly one-shot issue to get us used to not having Greg Capullo around. Duggan's style is tailor made for hard boiled detective shit which is exactly what Bats gets down to here. I'm very much looking forward to what this creative team has in store.

All New X-Men: I thought I was going to miss Stuart Immonen on this book because, as much as I love Brian Bendis, he did the title a lot of favors visually. But Sara Pichelli has taken the torch and carried the fucking thing like she's been there all along. There are going to be some people that don't like this book because they feel every issue of a superhero book HAS to be about people beating the shit out of each other (though, in fairness, it's been so long since the X-family got along, readers might have forgotten what that looks like and doesn't really know how to respond). This is really no different than an episode of a television show devoted to character development. If you can sit through a whole hour of Heisenberg trying to kill a fly, I don't see why you can't read through this.

And now, in closing, the most awkward but necessary transition EVER....

So, with the turmoil in Ferguson and the untimely departure of Robin Williams, it's safe to say that this week was a particularly maudlin one. This doesn't have much to do with comics and I hate to feel like I'm ambushing you guys with some soapbox shit at the end of an emotional week, but suicide strikes a certain nerve with me, so you're gonna have to bare with me today.

If you know someone who's having a tough time to a point where they might consider hurting themselves or if you're having a hard time, hear me now. Tell someone. Tell anyone. Tell me if you have to. The only way we make it to tomorrow is together and trust me when I say this: We Want You Here. There's too many wonders in this world for us to not want to share them. There's no shame in reaching the end of your rope if there's someone waiting at the end of it to catch you. Don't let the darkness consume you. Don't wait. Don't stay silent. Don't hesitate. There's love all around if you look for it. 

1-800-273-TALK
suicide.org
crisistextline.org

Robin Williams (1951-2014)

Because You Wanted Me To Talk About Guardians of the Galaxy......

I'm going to try not doing a fleshed out review like usual for Guardians of the Galaxy since EVERYONE has kicked out a review at this point. In fact, Chace Morris and Whitney Walker collaborated to do a fantastic review for Black Nerd Problems that's absolutely worth your time.

I will say that it was a shockingly enjoyable film that is probably the best representation of where Marvel's at in terms of the superhero genre of film. I mean, they're getting REALLY good at this. I hate to make this a "Versus DC" thing again because it seems like I've been doing that a lot lately (though you almost HAVE to, seeing as they're the only two in the field and we're not likely to get that Spawn reboot Todd McFarlane promises almost annually), but in terms of quality and output, they're doing laps around anything DC is doing right now. Sure, you could make the argument that The Dark Knight trilogy is where the bar is because Those Are Incredible Goddamned Movies, but it's also drastically different from virtually anything Marvel puts out (often times, its most effective moments....and there are many....are more crime drama than superheroics), it's comparing apples and oranges.

The Dark Knight series was an experiment in what most superhero films had been up until a certain point: Taking comics and distorting them to create a visual experience unique to cinema in a way that wouldn't necessarily do as well translating back to comic format. In other words, Nolan did well in taking elements of Batman: Year One and Knightfall and putting them more in line with the aesthetic he's known for, but those movies (most notably Dark Knight Rises) wouldn't be as effective for fans as a comic. Guardians of the Galaxy was one of the closest I've ever seen a movie being a 1:1 translation of comic book sensibilities to the screen, aside from maybe Sin City and Watchmen (which was, perhaps, a little too enslaved to the source material).

The movie tailored itself to what its principal cast does well. Drax is pretty much the role Dave Bautista has been TRYING to play since he started acting so this worked out very well for him. I am convinced that Josh Brolin could have been on screen with no make up or costuming and still been an effective Thanos. Right now, nobody else in Hollywood does the "sorta squinting death stare" as well as he does. Who would have thought Vin Diesel would be given three words to say in different inflections for an entire movie.....and end up with maybe the most poignant role of his entire career? And Bradley Cooper's Rocket Raccoon was so good, I almost had to remind myself that was Bradley Cooper's voice. There were so many naysayers before there was even a trailer (I'm looking at you, Cracked), making fun about a movie with a talking raccoon as if Man of Steel didn't make Superman's dad basically the best Siri update ever. All those shadebenders almost HAVE to shut up now.

As a whole, Guardians, as well as Captain America: The Winter Soldier, have shown exactly why Marvel's rather rabid fanbase remains reasonably loyal to what is basically the monolith of superhero movies at this point. I stand by my statement that Batman v Superman won't be a terrible venture like everyone thinks, but as far as competition (and let's face it....the Big Two ARE directly competing), DC has a lot of ground to cover.

Oh and Chris Pratt's slightly more irreverent portrayal of Peter Quill confirmed what I've known for some time now: Han Solo has become a genre of film.

The Week in Geek 8/6/14

So, this week, Black Nerd Problems published an exchange between me and my editor, Will Evans about Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and whether it's a Pass or a Play. Granted, I argued for seeing the movie mainly because thus far, I haven't personally seen any aspect of it that makes the whole thing a "non starter" like it has with some. In truth, I think the thing that has hindered the movie before we even got a trailer is the perpetual press junket. I harped on this a little bit in my Comic Con commentary last week but as a whole, (running the risk of sounding like an old man) I think cinema in general has been somewhat hindered in the era of social media.

Don't get me wrong. As a member of "New Media", I recognized how much progress has been made as far as independent property being circulated and having so many options for alternatives to hoping for the old mainstream venues to notice you. However, for the mainstream big budget films, I remember seeing nothing more than a thirty second trailer and maybe an endorsement from some fast food joint and being able to go into a movie cold with an open mind about what I was about to see. BvS is a prime example of how there is a headline now to tell you every single level of the production process to the point where there's no mystery anymore. Marvel is a pretty good example of an outfit that knows how to use the media engine to its advantage, control what gets out and treat their fanbase to some quality tidbits for its loyalty, but even with that in mind, I still basically walked into Guardians of the Galaxy KNOWING it's going to be awesome as opposed to the degree of wonder that should come from a Marvel movie that doesn't feature conventional superheroes (though, yes, I get that it's in a superhero filled universe). In any case, I'm not exactly #TeamZackSnyder, but I think I've seen enough that movie deserves a we'll see.

Also, I'll have a few thoughts about Guardians of the Galaxy up some time tomorrow.

My comic reviews for the week are up and available on Black Nerd Problems for your viewing pleasure. This week, I took a look at.....

Why the FUCK would you point your flashlight at Killer Croc
and NOT YOUR GUN?!

Batman Eternal: I think every comic has a make/break issue that can harm the quality at any given time. With Warren Ellis books, it's the overall patience of the reader. With Jonathan Hickman books, it's his tendency to meander in the world he builds for the reader. With Greg Land books, it's Greg Land. With Batman Eternal, at any given time, the artwork can easily sink this boat for that week. The gift AND the curse of having Dustin Nguyen on the title was that it raised the bar. Anyone who's seen his previous work on Batman books knows that his style feels so natural for this universe. Then, for Andy Clarke to have to follow up behind Nguyen's gorgeous work was rough. It was a decent job, but after a plot where some of the panels were simply terrifying, chasing monsters in the sewers should have felt much scarier and atmospheric than this did. Hopefully, this improves next week.

Iron Fist, The Living Weapon: I'm really having a hard time deciding whether we're going to look back in a couple of months and find this to be a sleeper hit by the time Kaare Andrews is done....or if Marvel is going to cancel it prematurely and leave us wondering what happened to this run in a few years when someone else comes along and gives it the Shang Chi treatment (I'm sorry, but that book is awful).

San Diego Comic Con Post Game Show

Okay, so this week was mainly the San Diego Comic Con fallout. I was scouring the internet for the Avengers: Age of Ultron trailer I keep hearing about and I had what I realize is a long overdue epiphany. I'm starting to see why smaller cons are gaining popularity these days. It seems like each year, SDCC becomes more and more of a press conference that barely involves comics and involves fans even less. I am convinced that Comic Con could run just the same if there were no audience at all. The whole point of any convention is that it's an assembly for like-minded people to generate fellowship. With that said, I like cons the way I like church: If I need binoculars, bifocals, bionic eyes or any other vision enhancing apparatus to see the talent (preacher), I don't need to be there.

Anyway, basically, as most things in comic fandom seem to do, this year came down to Marvel vs. DC vying for control of the movie fanboy hype machine. Marvel's big one-two punch was bringing out the cast for a few minutes and presenting the special super secret Avengers trailer. Now, for the record, this is NOT the part where I show up with the special super secret Avengers trailer because I don't have it. I mean NOBODY has it. This Disney money has gotten Marvel better connected than the CIA. Seriously. Batman himself couldn't get a hold of this shit. I just want to make sure everyone realizes how irregular it is for something of this magnitude to occur at a high profile con and to have not leaked by now. However, there's a pretty good description of the epic sneak peek available if you can't wait until "eventually." 

Meanwhile, DC hit every one with a haymaker in the form a teaser for the impending Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. The most notable aspect was that Batfleck was rocking the infamous heavy duty armor that Batman wore when he gave Superman that #AllKryptoniteEverything ass whupping in The Dark Knight Returns (which ISN'T canon, Bat-fanatics). Superman floating in the sky with his heat vision all queued up was reminiscent of his Jim Lee look in Hush (another instance in which the two came to blows). Of course, the trailer was leaked immediately after so the rest of the internet could follow suit in losing their shit over the 40 seconds or so of "holy shit."

So, who really dominated SDCC this year?

In fairness, DC definitely a). had a lot more of the deck stacked against them and b). had a lot more riding on positive reactions to their offering. Marvel has been winning this race as it is, so they could have done the minimum amount and still walked away with a loyal fan base. Why? As they've proven with putting out a schedule of their proposed movies for the next five years, Marvel has a tried and tested product that they can stand by. It's a confidence few moviemaking outfits can lay claim to.

Since BvS was announced, it's like the studio had been on a year long press junket. I mean every single level of production, casting and development has been run up the flagpole and criticized by every blog, news outlet from here to the New York Post. Barack Obama himself hadn't been vetted half as much as Comics' favorite bromance. Especially if you a comic nerd, it's become like a gaudy shopping mall being built right outside your house, having to wake up to the construction, seeing the new hires, watching every stick of furniture being moved in and constantly updating about it on Twitter every hour. They NEEDED a win. There are always going to be naysayers about this venture. They're practically built in. But they had to win some people over and it seems like they did.

Winner: Marvel. At this point, they are a behemoth that's hard to compete with. As of right now, they almost ARE the superhero movie genre. They had the crown before even showing up in San Diego.

The Week In Geek 7/30/14

I'll have some San Diego Comic Con follow up stuff ready to go for you guys tomorrow since people asking me about certain events took up the better part of my time this week. It's flattering and a little surreal that you people seem to care so much about my opinion on these things lately. I literally can't even go on a date these days without running into a reader who says some shit like "Hey, man, your whiskey sour is on the house....but you're dead wrong about X-Men this week." Anyway, my reviews for Black Nerd Problems are up and available for your viewing pleasure. Feel free to click, share, comment and troll at your convenience. This week, I reviewed....

Batman Eternal: Listen, folks, I know this book, despite my praising it, has had some problems along the way, but this Ray Fawkes and Dustin Nguyen fall very perfectly into this supernatural, "creepy shit afoot" groove with the greatest of ease. Bringing back the Roman was awesome early in the series, but making Deacon Blackfire matter again is setting up to be a good look. I could definitely see the events of this storyline spilling out into the rest of the Bat-books just in time for some fun Halloween related books.

Uncanny X-Men: Listen, not only is this book back to being brilliant, but it's surpassed its previous brilliance. The thing about X-Men books in general is that there are often times when they work better not focusing on superhero antics. Their whole thing is making the public perception of mutants a little more upbeat, but they don't get to do that very often because most of the time, they're fighting with each other on one level or another. And even if they're not fighting each other and actually saving the world, they take it on the chin so often, they never really get around to changing minds. I think Bendis understands that X-books are at their most poignant when they centered around the idea of the X-Men as a family...sometimes fractured, always dysfunctional.