Stuff I Read This Week 3/26

Silver Surfer #1: Whereas the Fantastic Four have always, for the most part, focused more on the scientific exploration aspect of Marvel superheroics, the Silver Surfer has commonly branched off into a more philosophical aspect of space discovery. Rather than seeking out conventional bad guys, Norrin Radd has always seen fit to explore the endless spaceways, pondering his metallic navel to solve the mysteries of the universe. The only trouble with that sort of formula is that eventually, it gets to be sort of somber. Fortunately Dan Slott and THE Michael Allred come together this week to add a new dimension to the Surfer mythology that slightly diverts from the norm.

Slott takes the Silver Surfer in a lighthearted, more whimsical direction reminiscent of Doctor Who. Here we see a good natured cosmic journeyman wading on his board throughout the uncharted shores of space, atoning for his time serving under planet eating Galactus. Slott clearly has a good, seemingly effortless time ushering the Surfer through miniature worlds and planets with neverending cityscapes that look like those mazes on the back of Highlights magazines. The former herald's intention always comes across clear without feeling like a downer. Despite his perpetual quest for redemption and guilt always lurking in the corner, the primary focus is always the bottomless well of inquisitiveness and joy for the universe's eclectic lifeforms that drove him away from his previous profession. The Doctor Who similarities continue with the introduction of small town dreamer Dawn Greenwood, who is somehow connected to our hero's journey. Allred is the perfect talent for Slott's vision that comes across less like Star Trek and more like Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. Going to from panel to panel feels like an laid back theme park ride, displaying one oddity after another.

Bottom Line: Dan Slott takes the Silver Surfer from brooding space hero to fun loving space wanderer with the same ease it takes Bruce Jenner to change faces. 9 out of 10.

All New Ghost Rider #1: Now, if ever there were a hero that needed a fresh start, it's Ghost Rider. Marvel has been desperate over the years to a). slap a new coat of paint on him that readers will actually go for and b). wash away the stink of the Nicolas Cage wasteland of suck that was the Ghost Rider films (when Idris Elba can't save your movies, it's time to reevaluate goals). They seem to keep rebooting this guy, but despite quality, nothing seems to stick. Now, it's a little early with this particular series for me to determine whether or not this one's going to go anywhere, but at least it's off to a good start.

In this issue, we meet our new protagonist Robbie Reyes, a hotheaded (see what I did there), working poor grease monkey who struggles to take care of his disabled little brother in a bad neighborhood. Apparently, he also moonlights as a street racer which leads to this new incarnation of the Rider rolling in what looks like Vin Diesel's trademark car from Fast and Furious. This origin offers up some semi-formulaic hero elements, but Felipe Smith manages to not hit us over the head with the usual exposition that would normally remind us that we've seen some of this before. Smith takes a very "show, don't tell" approach that is more than welcome here thanks to Tradd Moore's visuals. Here we see a striking anime style that wastes no time in coming across as refreshingly kinetic. Even when there's no action beats in place, every panel conveys a sense of motion and speed which feels appropriate for a book about a street racing Ghost Rider. The figures all have very clear, deliberate expressions that deliver intention, at times, without needing a word of dialogue. The highlight of this book, visually, was the Akira-esque drag race in the third act that left me reading it over again for details I might have missed.

Bottom Line: This book is definitely indicative of Marvel's drive towards new blood offering fresh takes on problematic titles. 8 out of 10.

Stuff I Read This Week 3/19 (Ladies First Edition)

X-Men #12: So, this title has spent a year benefiting from Brian Wood's "girl power" themed take on Marvel's mutants. They've done everything from alien possessed cyborgs and surrogate mothers to revamping Generation X characters (I did not think that shit was possible). And this current arc, in which the X-Gals take on Lady Deathstrike's newly formed "Sisterhood" has been shaping up quite nicely.

Too bad it didn't end on a very exciting note. Issue #12 features our heroines looking for a taste of retribution for Arkea's Sisterhood kicking their teeth in. I would have almost felt better if it had ended in a standard mutant slugfest, but (spoiler alert...I honestly don't even feel bad about this one, by the way) even that concluded with certain Sisterhood members just looking at each other and saying "Oh, fuck this. I'm out." If the villains were going to crumble, it would have been nice to at least see a failed attempt at teamwork or something. Alas, we got three underwhelming rounds of "Bad Guys unite....Kick the Good Guys' X-asses....Good Guys come back to kick Bad Guys' asses....The End."

The upside was mainly Kris Anka's divinely kinetic artwork. This book seems to play Musical Chairs dealing out its art duties, but Anka has certainly dealt some of the most awesome action panels of Wood's run thus far. Watching Monet pull a Sentry and cannonball through a building to take the Enchantress to the woodshed was a thing of beauty, worthy of and old school church shout.

Bottom Line: Much like Idris Elba in Ghost Rider....even top notch art can't save paint-by-numbers conclusion. 6 out of 10


Ms. Marvel #2: G. Willow Wilson is a godsend to comics for the work she's done thus far on this book. Introducing a brand new face to a well known superhero moniker is always a risky prospect. However, in adding a new layer to the legacy of Ms. Marvel, Wilson has brought a much needed dimension to the Marvel Universe.

This second issue manages to set two very special tones for the book going forward. The lion's share is dedicated to Kamala Khan exploring her newfound shapeshifting abilities with mixed success. What makes this origin slightly different is that it doesn't come across as polished as what we're used to. More often than not, when a hero discovers they have superpowers, it's usually not the toughest ordeal to learn how to use them because....well, we want to see them getting to the asskickery, right? Here we see our hero, via internal narrative, going through the inner workings of shapeshifting and testing herself in a fix-on-fail basis. (By the way, I want her "Embiggen" battle cry on a shirt.) However, depicting the discovery of Kamala's powers, Wilson also delves into the character's psyche. When she goes into "hero" mode, she almost becomes an avatar of what she envisions her heroic self as much like Neo's "digital self" being without plugs all over his body in The Matrix. But her hair turns blonde, her skin turns light. In other words, she becomes a white woman. But being "someone cool", as she perceives such things, turns out not to be an escapist fantasy. It's fucking scary.

Adrian Alphona's lighter color scheme works well for this book, making seem almost as if the whole thing is happening in Kamala's head when she uses her powers. Scenes where her transformations are incomplete and uncontrollable fit perfectly into the tone Wilson is conveying. The expressive faces and, at times, awkward stances are appropriate for what is, on many levels, less of a hero origin and more of a coming of age tale.

Bottom Line: This book is shaping up to be a master class in dealing with race and identity and everyone....every actual person who reads comics....should be reading this. 9.5 out of 10

The Cyborg Problem

Some of you...many of you, I wager...have probably noticed my Facebook and Twitter pages have lately been full of Cyborg "shade" and wondered why I have it out for this character in particular.

I went to sleep to @letsgetfree13 shading Cyborg & I woke up to the same. This may have been one if the best follows I've made recently.
— Felonious Donk (@PhaxSimile) March 2, 2014

Well, I was with some friends a week or two ago watching Justice League: War, DC's latest bastardization of their New 52 material. I'm not going to into why I didn't particularly enjoy the movie or the source material it was based on. That's a whole other post. I mentioned how I didn't like Cyborg being placed on the Justice League roster for one simple reason.

Cyborg is the epitome of why DC's black characters (except Green Lantern John Stewart) just don't work.

Let's take a real look at Victor Stone. There's not much to set him apart from anyone else in the Justice League. Think about it. What exactly can he do that the League needs that any of the other members can't already do? Strength? Well, that's pretty notably what Superman and Wonder Woman are for. He has a laser cannon for an arm? Green Lantern's magic wishing ring can do that plus anything else he can imagine. He can hack into computer security systems? Let's face it. DC has made Batman so annoyingly omniscient, he can hack/break/punch/think his way into virtually ANYTHING on Earth. Flash, Aquaman and even Shazam have villains tailor made to combat them and offer a significant challenge to be overcome. Name a Cyborg villain. I'll wait.

The ONLY thing that actually makes Cyborg stand out is being black. Now, let's look at his actual character development. Thus far, in the New 52 continuity, the only defining personality trait anyone can nail down is "I'm so sad that I have a metal face." Granted, tragedy isn't a new plot device or anything. After all....Batman. But there are other layers to Batman. He's meticulous, calculating, disgustingly rich, gets laid on Earth more than Captain Kirk ever did in space. Despite being a well documented loner...he's kind of a surrogate father, too. Cyborg is just really, really sad about his metal face despite being having all kinds of cool superpowers. I'm not even going to go into the possible undertones that could be assumed about the fact that only thing DC seems to be able to do remotely well with black characters is tragedy.

(This was the same problem DC had with Hal Jordan in the Green Lantern movie. These are sad times. People are sick, people are broke and someone's trying to shoot up a school or shopping mall every other week. If you have a character with a magic wishing ring or super robot powers, nobody wants to read them whining about it for 26 pages.)

With all that in mind, I repeat: the ONLY thing that separates Cyborg from the rest of the Justice League is the fact that he's black. So, when they put him on the roster, it's blatantly DC coming across as stuffy old white guys trying to condescend to readers, showing them how "down" they are by putting putting a black person with no standout qualities other than blackness next to Superman. Remind you of anyone?

Yes, that's right. Cyborg is quite literally DC's "black friend."

The sad thing is they really do mean well. It seems like they're trying to do for Cyborg what Marvel did with Luke Cage in 2000 by upgrading his character from the superhero version of Chef in South Park to what has basically turned out to be Shaft with superpowers (if he were played by Ving Rhames ten years ago). The only problem with that is Marvel does shit like that well.

Before ever becoming an Avenger, we saw Cage evolve and shine in top notch books like Alias and Daredevil (it probably helped that Brian Michael Bendis has sort of a man crush on Luke Cage). I know Luke Cage. He's is the summation of guys like my best friend and my father, an old school man of stoic conscience with pretty old school methods to superheroing and isn't always entirely sure he's supposed to be a husband and father, but sucks it up and does it anyway.

For all the complaints about her being underused (even though she's at the forefront of at least two successful X-Men titles I can think of), Storm is a pretty fleshed out character herself. She's a woman who owns her mutant powers and has always sort carried herself like royalty even before marrying (and divorcing) the Black Panther. Her history is so extensive, we've seen her overcome claustrophobia. Whether you like her character or not, you know Storm. You can repeat this with Black Nick Fury, James Rhodes, even the Falcon at this point, really.

Now, name three personality traits, defining moments or quirks about Cyborg, Mister Terrific, Black Lightning, Bronze Tiger or Aqualad (who, in fairness, was AWESOME in Young Justice). Villains? Motivations? Memorable "Real Hero" moments? Go ahead. Try. I'll wait.

Putting black characters like this on a Justice League roster for black's sake isn't giving them the respect or recognition they deserve. Taking them seriously and actually writing them is. That's why I don't take Cyborg seriously. Then again, I could be wrong.

(By the way, I've left John Stewart and Static...and even Static's cartoon got a little condescending...out of my analysis because those were two characters made awesome ONLY because of the late Dwayne McDuffie, who took advantage of post 9/11 sentiments by focusing on John Stewart's military background, almost making it a superpower in itself.)

My Bone to Pick with Jimmy Kimmel

So, the Rob Ford "interview" happened on Jimmy Kimmel Live this week and to say it was sleaze at its finest might be a vast understatement. And I'm not just talking about "Toronto's crack mayor" (Kimmel's own words from an earlier show, by the way). Granted, it's wasn't worse than Kimmel leaning into Leno that one time, but it still was pretty cringe worthy. He brought Ford on and showed him his, more or less, worst public moments (that we've all seen on YouTube by now) of the past year and made him twist in the wind explaining them (and by "explaining them," I mean "just sweating a lot") as he and the audience laughed on. Basically, it a comedic, condescending, kinda mean spirited version of The Trial of Rob Ford.

The Toronto denizens of Twitter were, bare minimum, less than amused. And, honestly, it's hard to hold it against them. I mean, by most accounts, as far as Canadian politics go, Ford is quite possibly The Worst , so let me make this clear that I'm NOT defending Rob Ford. Having said that....

Despite several instances of previously being hilarious in my book, in this case....Jimmy Kimmel is sort of a piece of shit.

It's one thing when someone like Newt Gingrich or Bill O'Reilly comes on the Daily Show. Jon Stewart makes no attempt to hide the fact that, despite being a comedian on a comedy themed network, he's a well read guy who knows his shit and likes to challenge the "logic" (or as close to logic as Newt Gingrich ever gets) of those he disagrees with. What happened on Monday night was akin capturing a bear in the wilderness, putting a dress on it and poking in the ass with a stick to lead it around a circus tent.

It was also very clear in more than one instance throughout the interview that Kimmel had invited him on under the guise of being a pal, wanting to redeem him (the jig was up when Ford turned out to be stupid to keep up the lie that he reached out to Kimmel) in the court of public opinion even though America is not Canada.

Now, on one hand...I can see the reasoning behind someone reading this post, wondering, "Who gives a shit?" I mean, it's Rob Ford. He's an awful person who earned the comedic tar 'n feathering in the town square he's getting and will likely continue to get for the remainder of his time in the public eye, right?

The only problem with this logic is that he's not just an awful person. He's an addict.

It's well documented that the majority of Ford's meandering through the various catacombs of his own stupidity have been fueled by, among other thing, alcohol, making it clear to most (including his own staff, several of which have resigned mumbling about how desperately he needs help) that he has serious substance abuse issues.

It's also well documented that Ford has an almost superhuman (or subhuman, depending on how you look at it) talent for slithering his way out of ever taking responsibility for anything. With that in mind, bringing him on late night talk for what amounted to Kimmel's rendition of a Daniel Tosh Web Redemption...is not any form of help, a beacon of social contempt or even a tap on the wrist. In other words, he was let off easy.

In the generation where amoral people get reality television shows and million dollar book deals for much less....it's a reward. It's a statement that says, with flashing neon lights, "As long as you're destroying yourself where we can see you and laugh, our amusement is a suitable currency with which you can barter for our silence." After all, we wouldn't want the guy to feel like maybe he should have to do something revolutionary like fix himself, right?

Society deserves better. Toronto deserves better.

Jimmy Kimmel is a piece of shit because maybe he isn't the drug dealer, but he's definitely the dickbag driving the addict to the drug deal in exchange for gas money.

Stuff I Read This Week: March 5, 2014

Jupiter's Legacy #4: Mark Millar sure takes his time getting a book out which is probably what loses some of his readers. Be that as it may, many of his books tend to be worth the wait in the long run....most of the time, anyway (sorry, Kick Ass 3). In the case of Jupiter's Legacy, I think I can find a way to forgive him.

This issue picks up nine years after Walter Sampson orchestrated an epic coup against his revered superhero brother, the Utopian. The fast forward gives an abridged tour of a more totalitarian sort of world in the wake of the "supers," also introducing yet another generation of hero to Millar's saga. This installment makes the lofty generational sprawl he's shooting for obvious, mirroring that of ancient Roman mythology. There will be readers familiar with his previous work who will be somewhat unimpressed by the deconstruction of superhero culture since Millar seems to have practically made his own genre out of it at this point. However, Jupiter's Legacy seems to hold up pretty well if you don't hold his other books against him.

Though Millar's plot might be divisive among some readers, Frank Quitely's artwork is beyond undeniable. Anyone who's read All Star Superman will tell you that Quitely is king when it comes to broad landscapes, broad shoulders and viceral battles among godlike beings. His rendering of a brave new world under the rule of the supers is absolutely beautiful and takes up a good deal of the issue which works well in it's favor.

Bottom Line: If you're not burned out on Millar's brand of superhero story telling, this is definitely a gorgeous book worthy of consideration. 7.75 out of 10.


Uncanny X-Men #18: Brian Bendis' run of All New and Uncanny have received a lot of praise from me over the past year and rightfully so. With the years of backstory to sift through and team rosters that rotate more than Taylor Swift's dating schedule, it's nice to have a set of X-books that are accessible to anyone who wants to dive right in and get a decent read without consulting Wikipedia every ten minutes. They're funny, relatable and easy on the eyes. Having said that....

...this issue isn't Bendis' best work. It has the best of intentions, trying to be equal parts chronicling the some moments in the arrival of the Original X-Men to the New Xavier School, catching awkwardness between Young Cyclops and Old Cyclops, and catching Old Scott's reaction to the disappearance of the Kitty Pryde and the original five. The flashbacks and flashforwards just aren't as tight here as they should be. The issue meanders with little direction, dipping out of one plot point and into the next almost randomly. Still, there are some instances in the story that makes this very random rollercoaster worth the ride. Watching Kitty and Cyke hash out their guilt over the death of Charles Xavier was an intriguing piece of reading. And Emma Frost's Jean Grey issues are always nothing short of hilarious. However, this issue in particular doesn't leave a whole lot of air in the room for the young recruits which is weird considering they're a man short as of the issue before.

The art in this book has been eclectic to say the least and Marco Rudy seems to keep that tradition going very well. Using Cyclops' recently uncontrollable optic blasts as borders between panels is a stroke of genius. And every unorthodox panel seems to jump right off of the page thanks to Rudy interchanging inks and watercolors.

Bottom Line: A wonderful, good looking concept....that feels really rushed in execution. 7 out of 10

Stuff I Read This Week: The Stuff Returns

Guardians of the Galaxy #12: Refresher: In case you've missed it, Original Jean Grey (from the first days of the X-Men) is stuck in the present day, learning about the checkered future ahead of her. Of course, the Shi'ar is still pissed about how she grew up to kill a few planets...so they'd like to "talk" to her about that.

Marvel's crossover events don't always hit the bullseye the way they should (looking at you, Age of Ultron) and sometimes, if they go on long enough, they seem to lose steam (that means you, Battle of the Atom), but this one seems to have a wild card in that regard: Brian Michael Bendis. "The Trial of Jean Grey" story arc takes two titles that have flourishes during the Bendis era and amplifies the things that work the best about his books in particular. He likes to go back and highlight certain aspects of superheroes that comics, in their long history and often fast paced nature, glaze over.

Anyone whose read any X-comics in the past couple of years can see that Cyclops clearly has prevailing daddy issues (He's all "wah wah, my daddy was dead and then in space"....pussy). Now, it probably wouldn't be a great idea to have Grown Up Cyclops pissing and whining about his father, but watching Young Scott Summers experience catharsis while on his way to fight space aliens to save the future love of his life? Yeah, that might be kinda awesome.

Still, the BEST part of this issue was watching Gladiator and the dissent in the ranks of his Imperial Guard. Oracle is an intriguing character and works well, unwittingly serving as the Gladiator's nagging conscience. That'll definitely be a lot to see play out in the last two issues. Sara Pichelli and Stuart Immonen's respective art styles play well off of each other. Granted, Pichelli did the majority of the pencils, but the expressive faces came in very handy for this issue which featured some pivotal emotional responses.

Bottom Line: Although it took four out of six issues to get down to the titular event, Bendis has made some rather entertaining detours that make for an engaging crossover. 8 out of 10.

Origin II: Refresher: A look into the early beginnings of James Howlett aka Logan aka Wolverine's time in the wild, led to believe his feral nature left him unable to belong among civilization.

Okay, quite honestly, I have NO idea why this series needs to exist. In the past ten years or so, Wolverine has gone from being an enigma to being the most mysterious figure in the Marvel Universe that we know damn near everything about. We've seen some backstories in the past year that we were better off not knowing (Thanos Rising) and others that work purely off the steam of a good writer's fresh eyes (Batman's "Zero Year"). If ever there were a comic book character who NEVER really needs another flashback story ever again, it's Wolverine.

Having said that, this follow up to the decade old Andy Kubert masterpiece "Origin" is actually pretty good. In for Paul Jenkins is Kieron Gillen at the helm with Andy Kubert's artwork duties passed on to his brother Adam. The result is pretty satisfying. For the most part, it picks up where the first one left off with Logan silently living in the wilderness with wolves. However, as anyone who has ever read a Wolverine comic knows....peace doesn't last very long for this guy. This issue in particular highlights the bond forming between Logan and gentle hearted animal tracker, Clara as well as Victor Creed, the callous tool who come be known as Sabertooth.

This is an enjoyable read with framework comparable to that of Tarzan or maybe even Princess Mononoke. It serves as a nice break from the psuedo-superhero/father figure of the Jean Grey school we've known from recent years and reminds us of what's most intriguing about Wolverine in the first place. Adam Kubert's pencils manage to maintain his brother's aesthetic tone. Every panel looks extremely clean in a very old fashioned way we don't see very much of these days with some of the best facial expressions I've seen all week.

Bottom Line: Even though the concept as whole feels extremely "been there," it's still a really good read. 8 out of 10