The Obligatory Iron Fist Post

So, in case you haven’t heard, Marvel’s long anticipated Netflix series Iron Fist….is garbage. Even by Arrow season 4 standards, it’s pretty rough. The worst part about wasn’t even that Iron Fist was a white guy. Matt Fraction’s version was pretty awesome and featured a white guy but also many Iron Fists of color that, Marvel seems to have completely overlooked for reasons unknown. It’s a bad thing but not the worst thing.

It was that it was painfully obvious that Marvel had been putting the development off because they had no idea what angle they wanted to approach the story from so they went with a paint by numbers origin story that, good or bad, just didn’t feel genuine at all. Granted, I realize that “heart” isn’t really quantifiable but you can definitely tell when a writer has something to say and the writers for Iron Fist didn’t.

No matter what you think of any given Spider-Man film, it’s very clear in each installment that the writers have a clear understanding of the fact that Spider Man’s most prevailing themes is “doing the right thing even when it sucks.” Hell, even Kung Fu Panda seems to run with the theme that “Being a hero isn’t about where you come from so much as who you choose to be.” Nothing about Iron Fist seems to convey an overall theme aside from “because kung fu” which is pretty rudimentary considering how far along we are in telling of the superhero myth.

Honestly, Marvel had a chance to beat DC to the punch of something they do well because they’ve been doing legacy stories forever (Reminder: There have been four Flashes, three Batmen and three Green Lanterns in one sector). They could have easily done a Book of the Iron Fist series about various wielders of the power throughout the years. Introduce a new Iron Fist, preferably an Asian one and have the show be about him returning to the world to fight the Hand when someone else emerges who controls the Iron Fist simultaneously, a white man named Danny Rand (because there is precedent in the comics of two people having the power at the same time), let them do an obligatory team up and have Danny go away and let Lewis Tan or Collin Chow or whoever be in the Defenders.

So yeah, I’m not as mad about Iron Fist being racially problematic and silly. There’s plenty of that. I’m salty because it’s structurally silly and full of missed opportunities. No matter WHO plays Iron Fist….the show would have still been bad. The only difference is that we’d be drowning in think pieces about how (Enter Much Better Actor Here) is way too good to be in it.

The Defenders seems promising, though. So, there’s that. Check out my review on the Green Lantern/Space Ghost crossover on Black Nerd Problems

My Review of The Get Down

This is my review of the Get Down. There will be spoilers so if you haven't watched the Part One of Season One of The Get Down, here is your stop. For everyone else, proceed to reading after the jump.

The Week In Geek: 3/16/16 - Never Too Many Daredevil Posts

Yesterday, the second season of Marvel's Netflix series, Daredevil, happened. Since I had the day off and I needed something to discuss today, I got up early and binged the whole goddamned thing in a day while I cleaned around the house and got drunk. I'll admit that I was a little worried at first that the show might lose a little bit of fire in the belly since the showrunners seemed to go for broke right out of the gate in Season 1.

First and foremost, Jon Bernthal was pitch perfect as the Punisher or, as I think of him, Who I See Myself As When I Play The Division. Though there have been some good portrayals (despite being in heinously bad movies) over the years, Bernthal has Frank Castle down so well, it's actually a little unsettling to watch. In the first season, the Kingpin was mainly a behind-the-curtain type of villain for the first episodes where we didn't get to see much of him for a while. Season 2 blatantly has no time for that shit. This time around, they get right down to business, throwing us right in the middle of Hell's Kitchen becoming a pot ready to boil over thanks to the new "hero" in town. Punisher's body count in any one episode resemble Steph Curry's season average. The fight scenes are twice as brutal as the first season. Last year, there were a lot of parallels drawn between Daredevil and Batman (the Nolan version) when the show premiered. Clearly, Marvel wanted desperately to distance one character from the other since we're a week away from Dawn of Justice because this season puts Matt Murdock through twice the shit he went through physically last time.

Character development was a bit more interesting. Karen Page definitely evolved from "step into harm's way constantly" to "stepping into harm's way for a good reason or at least good intentions." She's learned a thing or two from being around two friends who are entirely capable of handling themselves despite not being conventional tough guys (as far as she knows). For a show that borrow so heavily from Frank Miller (who has always been trash with writing women), this is a vast improvement. Foggy Nelson develops into someone with a little more personal agency once he realizes his blind best friend isn't exactly the handicapped person he thought he knew in Season 1. He blithely throws himself into some wildly dangerous scenarios without thinking it all the way through, but you feel his need to prove he can handle things on his own since his good looking, confident, silver tongued partner has essentially abandoned him. Even Claire Temple is basically just trying to either a). keep her job, b). DO her job or c). give the main character what they need so they'll get the fuck out of her face so she can get back to keeping/doing her job. You can watch each one of these characters play out their particular issues and be perfectly entertained without looking at your watch, waiting for Daredevil to fly through a window beat the unholy shit out of everyone....though that is usually a plus. The Elektra storyline doesn't have as much emotional resonance as the Punisher plot does, but it's still very well developed and wrapped up about as neatly as could be expected. Scott Glenn is still an absolute godsend as Stick. There simply isn't a single scene that isn't that much better because he's in it. Also....DAREDEVIL VS. NINJAS!!!

Will there be a third season? This series certainly deserves one, but with Iron Fist happening and The Defenders soon after, I could imagine there's some uncertainty as to when they'd get to churn out another Daredevil season. Of course, that was the case with the first season and we were promptly gifted with another, so we'll see.

My comic review for the week on Superman: American Alien

as well as my article on the upcoming Black Panther comic series are both up and available on Black Nerd Problems for your reading enjoyment. Feel free to like, comment or share your leisure.

Also, we're back with part 2 of Chapter 1 of our ongoing fantasy webcomic, Neverland: The Untold. So, definitely check that out.

The Week In Geek 3/9/2016

It's been a while since I've done This Week In Superhero Television and it's seems like good time to catch up now that most of the shows worth talking about are on break at the moment.

As it stands, The Flash might still be some of the most compelling comic based television right now. The absolute best thing about this show is that it's not about to embrace its own hamfisted insanity. Usually, shows go to absolute shit when they start fucking with time travel and parallel dimensions, but Flash full on owns it in a way reminiscent of the strong points of Lost (the strong points it actually had). Delving into Earth 2 has been major fun and Zoom has been enigmatic to the point of ridiculousness and hilarity. Also, I feel obligated to point out that Jesse L. Martin has been a powerhouse as Joe West, superhero father of the decade. The way he doesn't allow himself to be overwhelmed with all the sensational superpowers and whatnot is refreshingly human almost in a Jim Gordon sort of way. I also have to applaud the writers for at least TRYING

Meanwhile, Arrow is still trying to atone for the sins of last season but it's a long way back to the top. For one thing, the Arrowverse is trying its damnedest to make Diggle a relevant character again by introducing his evil brother Itachi...I mean Andy. John trying to make what's left of his family whole again is a noble effort to re-establish him as the moral compass of thais show. And, MY GOD, does Arrow ever need a moral compass? Because TV Oliver Queen, being a Batman surrogate and all, is a great superhero but a dreadful man. And to my great dismay, Felicity Smoak has become just as bad thanks to the writing team. She used to be such a steadfast, grounded figure, but now her plotlines have mainly devolved into her crying over things that really don't deserve the tears. When Oliver admitted that the only way he was allowed to see his son was to keep him a secret, Felicity was fully aware that her fiance was placed in an impossible situation and walked out on him as he sent his son away for his own safety (since he'd been kidnapped by his nemesis and all). Now, sure, he could have told Felicity without anyone knowing, but a person trying to be a better man openly lying to the mother of his only child for his girlfriend is still asking a lot. It's the entire problem they keep creating with her character: "I know you were faced with an impossible, no-win situation where anyone else would have folded, but goddamnit, what about ME?" It borderlines on the stereotypical nagging wife of an old 50's sitcom.

As for Legends of Tomorrow, I actually haven't watched the show since the pilot episode and I'm not entirely sure if I intend to try. It's great that the Arrowverse is stretching its legs and trying things, but this particular attempt is just too much. The strong points are all there. The show is basically going to live and die off of the return of Sarah Lance, The Doct....I mean, Rip Hunter and Wentworth Miller's amazingly ridiculous performance as Captain Cold. But there were just too many problems to ignore right from the start. For one thing, I'm used to Hawkman being characterized as an asshole. But for fuck's sake, he proposed beating Hawkgirl up to settle a dispute. Also, he's supposed to be Egyptian and is as lily white as Ron Howard (as is Vandal Savage). Also, there's the matter of Professor Martin Stein giving his other half of the Firestorm matrix a date rape roofie to make him come on the trip to stop Savage. I won't even touch that.

"Where's the black guy, though?"

My comic review for The Mighty Thor is available on Black Nerd Problems for viewing enjoyment. Feel free to like, comment and share as you see fit.

The Week In Geek 8/5/15

-So, Secret Wars is being pushed back AGAIN so it'll now be ending in October now. Man, I like this event a lot but for fuck's sake....I'd like it a lot more if Marvel wouldn't drag it along like this. DC and Marvel sometimes have a tendency to suck with these scheduling issues. DC shit the bed last year pushing Forever Evil back so far, rest of the books in the line had moved on past the event and basically gave away the ending. Now, with SW being delayed, there's so many moving parts in Hickman's story, the tie-ins have to be careful not to give away too much story. In truth, they wouldn't have so many problems with scheduling if they'd cut events like this in half. Marvel had the right idea when SW started off biweekly. Despite being so god-awful, at least Convergence got in, told its story and got out. Then again, considering Esad Ribic's artwork, it might just be worth the wait. 

-The Strain, the FX show based on Guillermo Del Toro's vampire apocalypse series, just got renewed for its third season. And despite my liking this show, I have no idea how that happened. I get that FX is doing its damnedest to stretch out this story with a little cinematic nuance and get the most out of the basic plot points, but Christ Almighty....it's the Vampire Apocalypse and the city's reaction to it is, at best, lukewarm. People feel completely comfortable, going to groundbreaking ceremonies, meeting in dimly lit parking garages, putting up "missing" flyers and flirting with cute latin girls in Indian food restaurants. So far, the most exciting plot points this season are a). the flashbacks of Abraham Setrakian Da Gawd and b). the Vampire Black Ops Team....and they just got snuffed out in stupid ass network television fashion, so that doesn't leave us much except the vastly underused Kevin Durand and Corey Stoll, Vampire Hunter which....umm, isn't all that exciting. The major problem is that in the era of existential horror/drama/misery porn like The Walking Dead where people can make the smartest decisions possible and STILL never have a single moment of happiness, it's getting noticeably hard to sit through a show where the characters seem to consistently make such awful decisions. I'm talking about the little stuff. They just stroll right into abandoned places, hardly ever clearing the rooms or even scanning them for vampires. Even Corey Stoll, Vampire Hunter's son, Zach is getting intensely annoying. But this is also a show where the high points maybe balance out the bad points, so it always ends up doing just enough of the right something to justify its continued existence. So, the result is an hour every Sunday where you keep hoping the good will start to actually outweigh the bad instead of just cancelling it out. But probably not.   

My review of this week's Ms. Marvel issue is up and available on Black Nerd Problems for your viewing enjoyment. As usual, feel free to read, like, comment and share as you see fit. You know the drill.

The Week In Geek 3/25/15

It seems like I do more Flash updates nowadays than I ever cared to do before. I really have to find a way to get Will over at Black Nerd Problems to invest in some kind of "Talking Dead" type of thing where we sit around and talk about the episode of Flash we just watched or something. People seem to like that sort of thing.

Anyway, this week marks the episode in which The Flash turned into professional wrestling....which sort of puts it in dicey territory. At the end of the episode, Flash meets with Captain Cold and they come to some sort of terms where they don't hit one another too close to home and the Rogues don't hurt people. This is one of those quiet-as-kept landmarks where casual watchers who don't read the comics get to see a side of comic-based storytelling that we haven't seen in a while in the era of Marvel's "it's all connected" approach. As awkward as it came across in the show, this actually makes it more in line with a lot of stand alone comics. Sure, there are the big guys who lurk in the shadows, plotting the end game (Reverse Flash), but there are numerous villains in comic-dom who just keep showing up because they like it. Cold says it numerous times and he's just starting to have fun being a supervillain. Hell, his sister turns things into GOLD and he still just wants to steal things for the hell of it. I think this all lends itself to what people love so much about this show. The degree of investment isn't nearly as heavy as buying into a universe where everything is urging you to watch something else (as high quality as it may be) to get an even bigger effect. It's an amazing representation of comic storytelling that Smallville just never managed to pull off.

My comic reviews for the week are still and always available on Black Nerd Problems. This week, I took a look at Batman Eternal and Uncanny X-Men.

My Favorite Things 2014: Movies and TV

Television

True Detective: If someone had told me a year ago that "American Horror Story For Murder Mysteries" would be one of the most awesome things to happen to television in 2014, I would have laughed heartily at them. And I would have been dead wrong. Nic Pizzolato took everything that's enjoyable about the experience of a hard boiled mystery novel and packaged it into a well-produced, streamlined series. I mean, these were some of the most beautifully shot parts of Louisiana I've ever seen. And it took full advantage of Matthew McConaughey's new season in the limelight. Rustin Cohle is one of the most compelling (at times, confounding) characters I've seen on a show like this in years. The only sin committed was that we didn't get to spend more time with these backwater super sleuths.

The Flash: I have to say this one took just about everyone by surprise. CW finally has the expanded superhero franchise its wanted so badly. The best thing about the Scarlet Speedster's series is that it never attempts to capitalize off of Arrow's success with creating a dark, gritty, Nolan-esque universe for it's lead to play in. In fact, it does the opposite. It's genuinely hopeful and intentionally trite, making Grant Gustin's Scarlet Speedster a Superman surrogate of sorts. And Jesse L. Martin playing Joe West does this show so many favors on so many levels.

Movies-

Captain America: The Winter Soldier- TWS is easily the best representation of where Marvel is in terms of production quality and representation of source material on the screen. This is what it looks like when you manage to tell a decent story and still deliver fast paced action without really compromising either element. Who would have thought the same guy who killed it as Johnny Storm (the only real standout aspect of the Fantastic Four movies) would go on to become and, basically, OWN the role of Captain America?

Why I Left Gotham....

Friend: Okay, you've been keeping up with Gotham, right? I have a reference question.

Me: Actually I gave up on Gotham after episode three.

Friend: Which one was that?

Me: The one that came third.

Friend: Yeah, but...good one....what was it about?

Me: It was Jim Gordon vs. Balloons

Friend: That was a vigilante whose motif was balloons. I thought you'd like that one.

Me: So, you thought I was drunk?

Friend: Are you telling me you weren't?

Me: No, I got drunk after it was over. To numb the pain.

Friend: So, what was wrong with the Balloonman?

Me: First of all, his name was Balloonman. You can't get away with a name that stupid if you're a MegaMan villain. Hell, he couldn't even get away with being a MegaMan villain because if MegaMan absorbed Balloonman's power, I'm pretty sure he'd refund it back to the guy.

Friend: "Excuse me, Dr. Wiley, I got this from your associates about a week ago. I don't have a receipt but it's just not what I thought it was and I'd like to see about getting a refund on it."

Me: "Well, young man, my associate should have made you aware of our five day policy for returns on evil robot powers clearly indicated in our terms of service....."

Friend: "Well, I'll take store credit. You don't have any free song downloads or some shit? Candy Crush lives? Nothing?"

Me: The thing about Gotham is that it's trying to be some hybrid of a Batman prequel and quirky procedural cop drama. In other words, it's trying to horde the CW and CBS audience at the same time. The problem is that it sucks at both.

Friend: But what about Kid Bruce Wayne? Batman before he even thought about being Batman. That's gotta be worth something.

Me: It would be if they actually bothered to write a character for this kid outside of "Bruce Wayne's parents got shot and he's been creepy ever since."

Friend: But isn't that how it basically went, though?

Me: Yeah, but there's a reason the other origin stories skip right to Bruce learning kung-fu and Sherlock Holmes 101. Because all an eight year old can do at that point realistically is really just pout and be a complete snot. Unless, you want to do a whole series about young Bruce Wayne solving mysteries. And Young Bruce Wayne Mysteries is essentially just Young Indiana Jones. And doing Young Indiana Jones without River Phoenix is a punishable offense.

Friend: But you write for a website that HAS to cover this kind of thing to know what's going on and all that.

Me: I write for a website where ONE of us has to cover Gotham. We are well aware of his sacrifice for the greater good. It's basically like he's Batman flying Bane's atom bomb into the ocean every Monday at 7 and we are grateful. But other than him, I think every other staff writer has basically washed their hands of the whole thing. I mean, there are just better things to do with my Monday night than wonder how much worse Jada Pinkett Smith's wig is going to be this week.

Friend: But you're not worried you're missing out on landmark comic-based media even if it's kinda bad?

Me: The last time I had that thought, I ended up watching several seasons of Smallville when three would have worked out just fine.

Friend: But Smallville was necessary. We needed to know that comic-based television could get if a show was left on the air years after its worn out its welcome for advertisment's sake.

Me: No, we didn't. We knew that already because that describes any CW show that lasts longer than two seasons that isn't Supernatural.

Friend: I'll give you that.

Me: But your point is that Gotham is necessary because we haven't had Smallville to remind us in a while?

Friend: Not really.

Me: So, what's your point in defense of Gotham?

Friend: I was defending Gotham? Oh, man, that show sucks. I just had a question.

Me: **sigh** Good talk, man.

The Week In Geek 9/24/14

Hey, guys. You probably noticed no updates from me last week. Well, I had some paid time off from the Day Job and decided to take some personal time for R&R. It's not that I don't love you guys, but self care matters.

This week saw two primetime comic shows premiering: the long awaited, long hyped Gotham and the returning Agents of SHIELD. I was interested to see how SHIELD opened up after really turning things around in their last leg, becoming the show that it really should have been all along. It had an awkward start because of the Marvel films it tried to capitalize off of, but once its plot in the second half of Season 1 borrowed from Winter Soldier, quality stepped up by leaps and bounds. Gotham had received much hype and understandably so. I mean, there's just no reason DC shouldn't be able to sustain a show about Young Jim Gordon. The Zero Year run of Scott Snyder's Batman is proof positive that, just beneath Batman himself, Gordon is easily Gotham's foremost champion of the law.

With all this in mind, Gotham started off with kind of a mixed bag. To its credit, the show does a great job of creating the right atmosphere for dark, foggy, hopeless Gotham City. And Ben McKenzie is a great pick to play Gordon. But there are some glaring problems with this reimagining. For one, we seem to see a lot a young Selina Kyle....but it's a LOT of her doing absolutely nothing. At all. Whatsoever. So far, her entire purpose on this show seems to be feeding stray kittens and standing on top of things for NO reason. It was downright irritating how little someone who appeared so much actually mattered in the plot. And the show really should consider toning down the Batman easter eggs. I understand that without the fun tidbits for fans, this would just be a regular procedural cop drama with a famous name, but at the rate the writers were cramming in stuff from every nook and cranny, they're not going to make it to Season 3.

Meanwhile, Agents of SHIELD got off to an impressive start with their season 2 opener. For one, they're obviously spending more money on this show (at least as far as budgets for primetime network television go). It's nice that they have a bit more direction. Riding the Captain America 2 tidal wave worked out pretty well and they seem to be using the whole "new SHIELD regime" thing to their advantage. Skye is a far less annoying character now that she's a full on field operative with more to do than be a nondescript outline for a standard Joss Whedon character. The addition of some notable characters from Marvel lore certainly help the appeal of the show. Absorbing Man was a fun foil that I hope we see more of throughout the Marvel Cineverse. The possibilities for cameo appearances has always been way too wide for this show to just limit itself to being a promotional tie-in for movies And it's nice that the show is finding some focus aside from "Hey, look, it's Phil Coulson" and not leaning as much on Clark Gregg being the best actor on the show so far except for maybe Hudson's recurring gig in Season 1 (Yes, I know he's Bill Paxton but I will forever think of him as Hudson....because Aliens).

All in all, if I had to put one show or the other in the lead, it would have to go to SHIELD right now. Season 1 was an experiment and now they see where they went wrong and are improving and working out the kinks. Granted, no matter how much it improves, this is still going to end up being That Marvel Thing That's Definitely Not For Everyone. Meanwhile, Gotham just has too much uncertainty floating around it. The material they try to cram into a single hour makes me feel like they're going to blow their strongest gimmicks in three seasons like Lost did.

Then again, these two are just holding me over until Arrow and The Flash debut, so whatever.

-Anyway, don't forget to check out my exclusive interview with Christopher Bird and illustrator Davinder Brar, the creative team behind one of my new favorite webcomics, Al'Rashad: City of Myths. The book really is amazing and the guys are both class acts with tons to say on comics, movies and writing characters of color

-Also, as always, my comic reviews for the week are up and available on Black Nerd Problems for your viewing enjoyment. It was a light week for me in the review department since I've been taking it easy with my time off from the day job so think week, I only reviewed:

Batman Eternal: Listen. I know I've spoken before about how important artwork is when you have a constantly rotating wheel of creative talent bringing drastically varying styles and voices to the same set of plots, but fuck's sake did they ever screw the pooch visually. I'm not about to be that troll critic nobody likes. At the same time, the art was REALLY awful. I can't imagine there's anyone who was sitting around wondering what Batman would look like if he were doing a guest appearance on Bob's Burgers. I don't think R.M. Guera has worked on the book previously, but he just shouldn't. To call the art "laughable" implies that there something funny or endearing about looking at this shabby shit.

.....That Time When People Gave A Fuck About Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Again

So, this week, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. became relevant with the fanboys again. This is monumental because this is something that hasn't happened since the first episode....which was 16 episodes ago (once everyone realized Joss Whedon was only directing the first episode). Part of the newfound buzz is mainly thanks to it marginal tie-in to Captain America: The Winter Soldier. I wouldn't have guess that movie would be such a resounding success all across the board, it's curative powers would trickle down a show that has spend the better part of it's opening season like a Dawson's Creek character trying to find itself.

This show was always something of an experiment from the start. It's meant to be 50% a stand-alone series and 50% a supplemental Hype Machine powered by the latest addition to the Marvel Cineverse (Winter Soldier, Thor: The Dark World, Phil Coulson). The problem is that the second wave of Avengers related films, despite their success in the box office, were met with questionable results among the eight cylinder engine of fanboys that are a necessary Hype Machine all their own. Thor: The Dark World was immensely fun and entertaining, but after all that destruction of Nondescript Alien/God Stuff, it had a fiercely unmemorable villain (which is tragic considering how awesome Comic Malekith is) which just leaves the remnants of Nondescript Alien/God Stuff which isn't the most interesting springboard to branch off into varying plotlines with.

Even if you go with Phase One...is Phil Coulson an entertaining character? Sure. Were we sad to see him die in Avengers? Of course. Was the Fanboy Hype Machine united in happiness when Marvel announced he'd be one of the principal characters (or, let's be honest, THE character) in a primetime Marvel series about spies doing spy shit in a superhero universe. Hell Yes. But this is treading a different ground than most. In defense of Marvel's writing team, when someone dies in television, you usually want to give some sort of explanation as to why for fear of the plothole whores. On the other hand, this is Comic Book Land where the reasons for resurrections are insanely vague purely out of necessity because, ultimately, we don't particularly care why a character we like is back (even though, really, they're back because we like them). I mean, let's face it. Does ANYBODY remember exactly how Bruce Wayne came back from the dead (or whatever happened to him that time)? Take your time. IlI'll wait. How much sleep did you really lose trying to figure out why Captain America came back to life after being shot dead on the courthouse steps a la Nino Brown? With that said, it probably wasn't necessary to drag out the hanging "How is Phil Coulson still alive?" plotline if the explanation is just going to be "dead alien DNA" or whatever the fuck that is in the basement.

However, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, a movie that is, quite honestly, Marvel's most fully formed superhero movie yet (for reasons I won't retread) taps directly into the things we expected out of this show pretty much from the start. It had espionage, double/triple crosses, political intrigue, fighting, standoffs, people gunned down in cold blood, etc. You finally got the feeling that Phil Coulson's A-Squad was playing for actual stakes.  The writers weren't afraid to actually put their characters lives in real jeopardy. This is essentially what a well done crossover tie-in comic looks like when cut/pasted onto primetime television. Honestly, this is the sort of place Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. should stay in. And hopefully, it's a lesson to Marvel that if you're going to put out product based on major releases, make sure your major release is Grade A+. Hopefully, since they've been clearly making up the second half of the season on the fly anyway, they'll take this and run with it.

Or maybe they won't. Because, you know....Hollywood and shit.

My Bone to Pick with Jimmy Kimmel

So, the Rob Ford "interview" happened on Jimmy Kimmel Live this week and to say it was sleaze at its finest might be a vast understatement. And I'm not just talking about "Toronto's crack mayor" (Kimmel's own words from an earlier show, by the way). Granted, it's wasn't worse than Kimmel leaning into Leno that one time, but it still was pretty cringe worthy. He brought Ford on and showed him his, more or less, worst public moments (that we've all seen on YouTube by now) of the past year and made him twist in the wind explaining them (and by "explaining them," I mean "just sweating a lot") as he and the audience laughed on. Basically, it a comedic, condescending, kinda mean spirited version of The Trial of Rob Ford.

The Toronto denizens of Twitter were, bare minimum, less than amused. And, honestly, it's hard to hold it against them. I mean, by most accounts, as far as Canadian politics go, Ford is quite possibly The Worst , so let me make this clear that I'm NOT defending Rob Ford. Having said that....

Despite several instances of previously being hilarious in my book, in this case....Jimmy Kimmel is sort of a piece of shit.

It's one thing when someone like Newt Gingrich or Bill O'Reilly comes on the Daily Show. Jon Stewart makes no attempt to hide the fact that, despite being a comedian on a comedy themed network, he's a well read guy who knows his shit and likes to challenge the "logic" (or as close to logic as Newt Gingrich ever gets) of those he disagrees with. What happened on Monday night was akin capturing a bear in the wilderness, putting a dress on it and poking in the ass with a stick to lead it around a circus tent.

It was also very clear in more than one instance throughout the interview that Kimmel had invited him on under the guise of being a pal, wanting to redeem him (the jig was up when Ford turned out to be stupid to keep up the lie that he reached out to Kimmel) in the court of public opinion even though America is not Canada.

Now, on one hand...I can see the reasoning behind someone reading this post, wondering, "Who gives a shit?" I mean, it's Rob Ford. He's an awful person who earned the comedic tar 'n feathering in the town square he's getting and will likely continue to get for the remainder of his time in the public eye, right?

The only problem with this logic is that he's not just an awful person. He's an addict.

It's well documented that the majority of Ford's meandering through the various catacombs of his own stupidity have been fueled by, among other thing, alcohol, making it clear to most (including his own staff, several of which have resigned mumbling about how desperately he needs help) that he has serious substance abuse issues.

It's also well documented that Ford has an almost superhuman (or subhuman, depending on how you look at it) talent for slithering his way out of ever taking responsibility for anything. With that in mind, bringing him on late night talk for what amounted to Kimmel's rendition of a Daniel Tosh Web Redemption...is not any form of help, a beacon of social contempt or even a tap on the wrist. In other words, he was let off easy.

In the generation where amoral people get reality television shows and million dollar book deals for much less....it's a reward. It's a statement that says, with flashing neon lights, "As long as you're destroying yourself where we can see you and laugh, our amusement is a suitable currency with which you can barter for our silence." After all, we wouldn't want the guy to feel like maybe he should have to do something revolutionary like fix himself, right?

Society deserves better. Toronto deserves better.

Jimmy Kimmel is a piece of shit because maybe he isn't the drug dealer, but he's definitely the dickbag driving the addict to the drug deal in exchange for gas money.

DC vs. Marvel...Because It's Almost Required For Blogs Now

It used to be common practice that, for the sake of my reviews, I would try to pick up a equal amount of titles from the Big Two (or as close to it as possible because, let's face it, some books just suck no matter who published them) and a couple of fringe titles from IDW, Image, etc. Lately, in my weekly trip to the comic shop, I've noticed that my stack includes more Marvel and (gradually) less DC as time goes on. Why? I know I've been pretty rough on the New 52 reboot (there has GOT to be a statute of limitations on how long something can go on and still be called "New"), but there are some gems in the continuity that deserve consideration. So, what is it that could possibly annoy me so much about DC that I would grow so disinterested?

Oh, wait. I know. It's probably this.

Honestly....what the entire fuck, man? Don't get me wrong. Fold-out splash pages are not a new phenomenon in comics, but folding out/upward like this just feels (and reads) like a huge hassle. Also, you can't see it in this picture, but it's attached to what feels like glossy printer paper, suggesting that you can pull it off and use it as a poster if you're delicate enough. This isn't exactly a new occurrence in comics, either, but the problem comes when you've put dialogue on the page that is potentially a poster. Then it becomes tantamount to tearing a page out a book like Moby Dick or Interview with the Vampire, no matter how inconsequential the words on it are.

Then there's this.....

I shit you not...the WHOLE book was like this. This is, on no level whatsoever, fun or convenient to read. It's not just the fact that this particular issue was virtually unreadable plotwise. It's the fact that you have to hold it sideways like a toddler's board book. It doesn't add anything to the experience the the story itself offers. There isn't some grand pay off at the end to reading it this way. It's a "just because" solution to the DC problem when the REAL solution is "or we could just write a better book" which, in turn, creates The Other DC Problem: DC Comics is that guy you know that will do ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING to lose weight except diet and exercise.

Then, I took a good look at the Marvel NOW initiative and how they're handling the concept of "soft reboots" where they don't necessarily start all over, but bring characters to a point where, ideally, anyone (walking in cold from the movie theater) can jump right in and find themselves a new favorite character or see what's new with an old one. While you can go back and read past story arc if you're feeling particularly scholarly, the idea is that you don't HAVE to. There's actually a "quiet as kept" genius to this. I mean, no matter how thorough your reboot of a title or universe is, it's inevitable that it's going to start to grow cobwebs after a certain amount of time. Therefore, you just bring in new creative teams from time to time and offer fresh eyes to an existing situation. You pull in new readers, take the existing audience's temperature to see what characters might do well on the big screen, and basically put out monthy/biweekly promotions for movies already in the pipeline. And you Haven't Completely Alienated Your Existing Fanbase Like DC.

And so, once again, Marvel wins the race while DC trips over their own shoelaces.

SIDENOTE: If you haven't picked up Marvel's Point One Special issue, find that immediately. The Silver Surfer trying to grow hair is worth the price of admission alone.

My Favorite Things of 2013: Television

Avatar: The Legend of Korra- Was Book Two as good as Book One across the board? No. But it was still pretty fucking awesome. Switching animation studios was the best thing that could have happened to this show. Episodes 7 and 8 may very well be the best looking episodes ever seen in the Avatar franchise thus far. The writers clearly pulled a couple of "uncharacteristic" stunts with the characters in the first half to shake things up, but the second half more than makes up for it.

The Walking Dead- For a show that never seems to get the comic to tv translation quite right, this show still manages to be the best ongoing survival horror series (maybe) ever.

The Newsroom- The second season of Aaron Sorkin's news media melodrama managed to highlight the fact that a). even fictional liberal media can't ever catch a break and b). no matter how much viewers like him, critics will never be happy with any non-West Wing thing Sorkin ever does "because fuck him, that's why." Granted, I don't agree with changing his format in season 2 just to pacify critics who whine about its preachy tone (funny how those same critics never seemed to have a problem with 24's overall theme of "America is awesome because America"), but the Operation Genoa story arc was a very intriguing experiment in the potential of Sorkin drama (at this point, Sorkin drama is a genre unto itself) to highlight that journalism, in reality, is less draconian and conspiratorial and more incompetent and rushed. Yes, Jeff Daniels, more or less carries this show and sure, there are a couple of plot points that can go ahead and die, but this is still one of the best shows on HBO that isn't Game of Thrones....or Girls....or Boardwalk Empire. You get what I'm saying.

Arrow- This one is on my good side mainly because I consider it like the "most improved student" in the classroom of comic-based media. When it debuted in 2012, I was highly unimpressed with the lackluster pilot and dismissed it. However, I eventually came back to it out of curiosity, shocked to see that, despite a couple of episodes clearly being written by Geoff Johns (I like the guy but Explainer's Disease), the show grew on me quickly. This show is a good example of what I was talking about in an earlier opinion piece when I mentioned that movie/television ideas can enhance a character and make them digestible for the collective consciousness. Although he's a personal favorite of mine, Green Arrow is definitely a character who I've always believed would benefit from some retooling. I think it was a smart move to basically turn him into a primetime Batman surrogate (since it's been plainly obvious for years that DC has wanted Batman on primetime tv soooooo badly). I also like this show because it seems to be every bit as polarizing among fans as Man of Steel was. Arrow is either either fanboys love about comic book television or it's the bane of their existence. My hypothesis is that the nerds who hate it subconsciously hate that it has the stigma of CW tween-vision, land of shirtless men and feelings, hanging over it. But let's be honest; how are the things fans complain about ANY different from Thor or Spartacus which seem to be immensely popular?

-"Oh, it's so melodramatic. It's obviously pandering to women."

Something based on a comic book that's been around since the 40's has "Damsel in Distress Disease" and pretty people in it? The hell you say. How awful. Gee whiz, why can't Arrow be more like Thor, where homely men like Chris Hemsworth stand next to homely women like Natalie Portman who don't ever get themselves into danger, bludgeon their relentless enemies to their vomit inducing deaths and would NEVER spend half of a movie making pouty doe eyes at each other?

You know where I first saw the trailer for Thor: the Dark World? During the previews before Baggage Claim, a myopic piece of syrupy romantic comedy Kool-Aid that my girlfriend at the time dragged me to. You know what other trailers were featured? Black Nativity, a musical bastardization of Langston Hughes' play followed by About Last Night, a rom-com with Kevin Hart in it. I was one of maybe 7 other men in a packed theater. Thor: The Dark World currently holds at 65% on Rotten Tomatoes. The Thor movie before that one is at 77%. I hate to break it to you, fellas, but comic book movies beat you to the pandering punch. Try again.

-"He's always got his shirt off for no reason. And the women always look like models."

Oh, please. Because we all know hit action shows like Spartacus are such winners because the heroes and heroines are all such fully clothed bastions of modesty and virtue. And remind me again how Thor is known for his long sleeved, baggy shirted adventures.

I said all that to say....suck it up and learn to let go. Arrow is awesome.

The Obligatory Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Review

It was only a matter of time before Marvel (and really, Disney) got the bright idea to do spin off television shows in the same way comics do "tie in" series. As a comic nerd, that's really the most logical metaphor I can think of to describe Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., the long awaited primetime series spawned out the success of the Avengers movie. What Marvel is doing with this show, whether is turns out good or bad, is an important experiment in the potential of their "cinematic universe" crossing over into live action tv. The result isn't a failure by any means, but it's also not a resounding success. To its credit, the show fully embraces its silliness in a fun way similar to that of the Captain America movies from the 70s.

The pilot begins some time after the Battle of New York from the Avengers movie where Earth's Mightiest Heroes successfully repel an alien invasion, making the existence of superheroes known to a once oblivious public. Agent Phil Coulson is back from the dead (somehow) to put together an A squad that can monitor the general populace for superheroes or supervillain situations and deal with them before fast and quiet. Presumably, these will be threats that don't require the attention of Captain America and Thor since they'll need to rest up to fight genocidal robots and alien despots (other than One Direction). Recruited for the task is a pilot (Ming-Na Wen) who swears she doesn't do field work, an Archer-like field agent who allegedly doesn't work well with others despite being immensely charming and a hacker who is basically what happens when Anna Kendrick joins Anonymous. The team doesn't start off seeming like the "best of the best" but perhaps, they're not supposed to. Despite witty banter and fun introductions, the pilot doesn't do the best job of making that clear right away. And don't spend too much time worrying about how or why Phil Coulson is alive. He does a pretty good job carrying the show, so you'll be happy to see him.

In many ways, it seems like the general idea is for this to be Law and Order for superheroes like Fringe was for science fiction. Considering the sandbox the series potentially plays in, it feels like relatively small potatoes. I mean, in a universe with million (and sometimes billion) dollar budgets, a project like this that has primetime drama dollars to work with obviously isn't going to seem terribly state of the art. The show makes no effort to pretend that it is, either. However, this doesn't necessarily work completely against Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. as we see in a scene where Whedon-verse alumnus J. August Richards, playing a disenfranchised factory worker given superpowers, goes into a monologue contemplating where the everyday man fits in a world now populated by titans and super soldiers fighting for the fate of civilization. And here we have an aspect of the genre that could stand some highlighting.

Superhero tv/movies haven't done as much to capture the heroic age from a ground level perspective. In fact, the majority don't treat average joes as little more than collateral damage much like in a video game (although you're justified, I'm looking at YOU, Man of Steel). After all, the thought of the ubermensche looking out for us a really nice thought, but what long term ramifications would superpowered battle, vaporized buildings and alien invasions every week have on a populace after a while? Is this really that hard to imagine at a time of frequent mass shootings in a war weary country such as America? I mean, most people have enough trouble avoiding rush hour traffic, much less gods airing out their sibling rivalry in the middle of the goddamned street. This is an interesting theme that deserves further exploration in a venue such as this and Whedon would certainly be perfect to do so. However, this could also be a lofty goal for a show like this that's meant to be fun and ham-fisted. At this point, it's hard to say whether Whedon will be able to stay as involved with a show like this at a juncture in his career when he's become a nerd messiah, but the pilot was decent enough that it's worth sticking with a while longer.

Bottom Line: Not the hype worthy start some were expecting, but definitely enough strong groundwork to build off of. Oh, and...you know...Phil Coulson. 7.5 out of 10

Crowd Participation or Happy Free Comic Book Day

Craig "BBC" Long from Houston, TX wanted to hear my thoughts after reading the Walking Dead comics since I saw Seasons 1 and 2 first.

Well, Craig, I can say that the comic delivers better than I could have hoped. With the direction Swamp Thing and I Vampire went in, The Walking Dead is definitely one of the ONLY mainstream titles in comics that can truly lay claim to being a horror comic. One thing that is well preserved in its own way is the dichotomy of Rick and Shane. Not only do they define each other, they define the theme of the series as a whole. In the moments when it's not an epic zombie saga (easily one of the best of all time), it's essentially a morality play that constantly questions whether or not humanity is a biological or ideological state of being. Rick and Shane seem to be constantly at odds with themselves as well as each other standing on respective sides of the argument. I see where some fans take issue with the things altered in the the tv adaptation, but I think it's the aesthetically reasonable compromise network television could probably muster. No matter how iconic a comic is or how powerful a panel is, the sad truth is that there are just some things that look good in a comic that won't translate as well on television or on screen. That's why I like that geeks are actually being consulted about geek culture. Robert Kirkman works very closely alongside the production team on Walking Dead, George R. R. Martin is reportedly consulted often on the direction of Game of Thrones and Joss Whedon has more than enough nerd credit in the bank at this point to be trusted with The Avengers. At some point Hollywood decided that instead of being satisfied with the receipt for the intellectual property they bought as a stamp of approval, it might be better to actually ask the creator what they think about their work. I stand behind the "for nerds, by nerds" approach.

Johnathan Marroquin writes via Facebook: I need an honest opinion on the Amalgam universe circa 96-98. Potential or not?

For those of you who have no idea what he's talking about, in the late 90s, DC and Marvel were real fiends for cross pollinating their titles because...let's face it...nerds will never stop arguing about who would win in a fight between Superman and the Hulk ("...and then Superman threw the big green monkey into the sun and went back to work. The End."). So, they finally had a Marvel vs. DC miniseries where the best...at the time...of each company had a big slugfest because of some patchwork excuse like "the universes are colliding" (a writer's way of saying "for no good goddamned reason"). Anyway, somehow after the heroes kept the universes from colliding by beating the shit out of each other, the universes collided anyway. The result was a universe full of mashup characters. Sometimes, they made sense like how the "Challengers of the Fantastic" was a combination of the Fantastic Four and the Challengers of the Unknown....both Jack Kirby creations. Most of them, however, were shitty like putting Batman and Man-Thing together to get Bat-Thing. This was indicative of what the mid to late 90s was in the land of comics: a reason to sell cool covers instead of cool books. Assuming Johnathan's question is asking whether or not this same imprint would be a viable venture now, it's enough that DC treats their own artists like the mail room interns you steal ideas from without their knowing. It's enough that Marvel would hold their writers at gunpoint beneath a vat of battery acid and force them to write a "You Got Served" comic if they thought there was money in it. I shudder to think what the Big Two would do to each other.

Batman: No, Logan, I never would have guessed it was you under there.