Green Lantern- Ok, I can see where studio execs would like Ryan Reynolds playing a superhero. He's funny, has a decent resume and clearly owns Hip Hop Abs. Whatever. He doesn't need to be playing Hal Jordan, the greatest Green Lantern of all time. See, what the studios don't understand is that every superhero doesn't need to be cracking wise while saving the day. This is the one where we want to see him being a badass. From what I can tell of the trailer, some things look really good and some things don't. Abin Sur and the crashed spaceship....looks awesome. Mark Strong as Sinestro....not as much. Green Lantern's costume looks like a cgi nightmare from 1998. They honestly couldn't have put that guy in tights??? Children, people who like professional wrestling and women who like beach bodies will all like this movie. Fans will divided depending on the degree of fan they are. All in all, DC's film franchise is trying to catch up to Marvel, but they're going to have some failures along the way. Jonah Hex was one...this'll be next one. If you want a good alternative, go to Wal Mart and pick up the animated feature Green Lantern: First Flight. Final Verdict: Pass.
Thor: You know, Ive heard complaints and I really don't understand people's problem with Chris Hemsworth playing the Norse god of thunder. What is it? The fact that he looks like a big scary wrestler from parts unknown? Well, I hate to break it to you, but that's precisely what Thor looks like. I actually have few complaints about this one. I saw the trailer and thus far, it seems like they did everything right. I am a little concerned about the part where a big super strong thunder god goes all Jason Bourne on a dozen SHIELD agents, but that's minor. This movie looks fantastic and I think it's in a perfect position to kick summer blockbuster ass. Final Verdict: Play.
Dylan Dog: Dead of Night- I think I know what happened here. In recession-era Hollywood, Brandon Routh...the guy from that Superman movie we shall not speak of...thought of a way to break the Superman curse. See, it's been customary that everyone who plays the Man of Steel over the years fails to find good work afterwards (I'm looking at you, Dean Cain), ends up in D-List Purgatory....or commits suicide. From the looks of this low budget, third generation Constantine meets Caddyshack, Routh should have volunteered for that last option. There's always a chance that the kid could find the spotlight again but, oh my stars and garters, this ain't that moment. Final Verdict: Pass.
Super 8- Ok, from what I can tell of the trailer, this is JJ Abrams' attempt at making up for Cloverfield. It seems like he took the Spielberg boy meets monster route which makes for a pretty simple straightforward film. It looks halfway decent and even if it sucks, it'll hold us sci fi freaks over until the Star Trek sequel. Final Verdict: Play.
X-Men First Class: Hahahaha....wait, seriously? That was a real trailer??? Ok, what did comic fans ever do to Fox for them to keep putting out sh*tty additions to this franchise? For all of the non-nerds, this series stopped being semi-accurate after the second film. They just started making sh** up to have an excuse to force James McAvoy on us again. As a matter of fact, I think this movie that has nothing to do with the graphic novel is his punishment for Wanted....just like Wanted was Morgan Freeman's punishment for being a pedophile. Final Verdict: Pass.
Captain America: Ok, this is one of those moments where I'm forced to eat my words early. When I found out Chris Evans was playing the man himself, I had a field day, calling the whole project a fail. I saw the trailer and although they don't give you much to go on, I'm actually impressed. He looks good as the Star Spangled Avenger. See, the great thing about this latest line of Marvel flicks is that they can't afford to suck. Since it's all leading up to the Avengers film next year, each film has to bleed time, effort and money like Charlie Sheen in the middle of a coke deal. All in all, I'm excited. Final Verdict: Play.
Twilight: Breaking Dawn- I am actually really excited about this movie but mostly because it's the last one which means the nightmare is finally over!!! Final Verdict: Play.
Cowboys and Aliens: Now, I'm not hugely familiar with the graphic novel on this one, but I saw the trailer during Tron Legacy and couldn't help but laugh. It looks like a joke I wrote once about sh*tty writers who let a story carry on as it should and suddenly has the characters get kidnapped by aliens for no reason. Bwahahahahahaha!!!! Anyway, this looks like it should be a fun ride without getting too goofy. Daniel Craig doesn't do goofy. He has one speed: shoot everyone in the face (and we like him that way; see Casino Royale). Cowboys defending their town against an otherworldly invasion is a concept just bizarre enough to be awesome. I was on the fence here, but you know what? I'm in. Final Verdict: Play.
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides- No. Final Verdict: Pass.
Transformers 3 Dark of the Moon: I know there's a lot of people excited about this, but I have to be honest. After that last clusterf**k of ghetto hybrid cars, giant robot testicles and giant robot ghosts, I think I'm done. Clearly, Orci and Kurtzman aren't writing this one and whoever replaced them is clearly lazy. "What if there were giant robots in the Smithsonian?" "What if there were giant robots hiding in Egypt?" Now it's "What if there were giant robots on the moon?" The only positive thing I've read about this one so far is that Megan Fox was fired. I'm sure there's an audience for this aside from children, but at this point, it ain't me. Final Verdict: Pass.
Thor: You know, Ive heard complaints and I really don't understand people's problem with Chris Hemsworth playing the Norse god of thunder. What is it? The fact that he looks like a big scary wrestler from parts unknown? Well, I hate to break it to you, but that's precisely what Thor looks like. I actually have few complaints about this one. I saw the trailer and thus far, it seems like they did everything right. I am a little concerned about the part where a big super strong thunder god goes all Jason Bourne on a dozen SHIELD agents, but that's minor. This movie looks fantastic and I think it's in a perfect position to kick summer blockbuster ass. Final Verdict: Play.
Dylan Dog: Dead of Night- I think I know what happened here. In recession-era Hollywood, Brandon Routh...the guy from that Superman movie we shall not speak of...thought of a way to break the Superman curse. See, it's been customary that everyone who plays the Man of Steel over the years fails to find good work afterwards (I'm looking at you, Dean Cain), ends up in D-List Purgatory....or commits suicide. From the looks of this low budget, third generation Constantine meets Caddyshack, Routh should have volunteered for that last option. There's always a chance that the kid could find the spotlight again but, oh my stars and garters, this ain't that moment. Final Verdict: Pass.
Super 8- Ok, from what I can tell of the trailer, this is JJ Abrams' attempt at making up for Cloverfield. It seems like he took the Spielberg boy meets monster route which makes for a pretty simple straightforward film. It looks halfway decent and even if it sucks, it'll hold us sci fi freaks over until the Star Trek sequel. Final Verdict: Play.
X-Men First Class: Hahahaha....wait, seriously? That was a real trailer??? Ok, what did comic fans ever do to Fox for them to keep putting out sh*tty additions to this franchise? For all of the non-nerds, this series stopped being semi-accurate after the second film. They just started making sh** up to have an excuse to force James McAvoy on us again. As a matter of fact, I think this movie that has nothing to do with the graphic novel is his punishment for Wanted....just like Wanted was Morgan Freeman's punishment for being a pedophile. Final Verdict: Pass.
Captain America: Ok, this is one of those moments where I'm forced to eat my words early. When I found out Chris Evans was playing the man himself, I had a field day, calling the whole project a fail. I saw the trailer and although they don't give you much to go on, I'm actually impressed. He looks good as the Star Spangled Avenger. See, the great thing about this latest line of Marvel flicks is that they can't afford to suck. Since it's all leading up to the Avengers film next year, each film has to bleed time, effort and money like Charlie Sheen in the middle of a coke deal. All in all, I'm excited. Final Verdict: Play.
Twilight: Breaking Dawn- I am actually really excited about this movie but mostly because it's the last one which means the nightmare is finally over!!! Final Verdict: Play.
Cowboys and Aliens: Now, I'm not hugely familiar with the graphic novel on this one, but I saw the trailer during Tron Legacy and couldn't help but laugh. It looks like a joke I wrote once about sh*tty writers who let a story carry on as it should and suddenly has the characters get kidnapped by aliens for no reason. Bwahahahahahaha!!!! Anyway, this looks like it should be a fun ride without getting too goofy. Daniel Craig doesn't do goofy. He has one speed: shoot everyone in the face (and we like him that way; see Casino Royale). Cowboys defending their town against an otherworldly invasion is a concept just bizarre enough to be awesome. I was on the fence here, but you know what? I'm in. Final Verdict: Play.
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides- No. Final Verdict: Pass.
Transformers 3 Dark of the Moon: I know there's a lot of people excited about this, but I have to be honest. After that last clusterf**k of ghetto hybrid cars, giant robot testicles and giant robot ghosts, I think I'm done. Clearly, Orci and Kurtzman aren't writing this one and whoever replaced them is clearly lazy. "What if there were giant robots in the Smithsonian?" "What if there were giant robots hiding in Egypt?" Now it's "What if there were giant robots on the moon?" The only positive thing I've read about this one so far is that Megan Fox was fired. I'm sure there's an audience for this aside from children, but at this point, it ain't me. Final Verdict: Pass.
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