Women and Comics: Why Not Wonder Woman?

So, now that DC Comics have finally gotten their heads in the game to actually compete with Marvel's movie universe, the comic movie gods are blessing us with a long awaited team-up between Batman and Superman in Man of Steel 2: The Steel Strikes Back. Soon after, there's supposed to be a Flash movie (I called that, by the way). But what of Wonder Woman? The quest to put the amazon on a small or silver screen seems to be a neverending battle unto itself. But why? This is a character that has survived the constant evolution of comics for just as long as Batman or Superman, who have both had more television/movie properties than I care to list here. She's had a red carpet list of writers lending their talents over the years ranging from George Perez to Jodi Picoult. What's so difficult about getting translating a story like this one to live action? Torontoist writer, Christopher Bird, hypothsizes that the problem lies with that fact that there simply hasn't been a definitive Wonder Woman from which to derive a blueprint. And that's actually sort of true. Most casual fans of Spider Man can at least name a supporting cast member (Mary Jane Watson), a villain (most likely the Green Goblin) and a definitive moment that proves to shape the character (probably Uncle Ben's death). Take a minute and do the same for Wonder Woman. I'll wait....

And in this, we find the "Wonder Woman Problem." Ask ten people to name three defining things about her and they MIGHT be able to think of "amazon", "lasso" and maybe "Lynda Carter." Fortunately, the recent revelation that DC is beginning to craft its own cinematic universe lends a little more hope towards Diana finally getting a turn at the spotlight. This is exactly what the character needs because a good movie would be more likely to give us a definitive version that the mainstream (nerds and non nerds alike) can latch onto for the forseeable future like Christopher Reeve did for Superman (I mean, lets face it....). However, there are a few things any writer/director should be aware of going into a Wonder Woman project.

1). This is going to certainly come into direct competition with Marvel, who just had the Hulk and a god help repel an alien invasion and save humanity. Granted, she has come a long way from being...let's face it...William Marston's homemade "spank bank" material. However,Wonder Woman has been a reincarnated over the years as the female version of Shazam, a kung fu master, a foreign dignitary from Amazon Island, a clay statue brought to life and a demigod. No two versions of her are ever the same. Although comic readers (especially DC readers) have come to see this as just par for the course with some characters, casual moviegoers will definitely find themselves confounded looking up information on WW when/if a movie ever gets announced. If it were me, I'd go with her being the super strong daughter of Zeus similar to (I believe) Brian Azzarello's run. Perhaps, she steals her armor and bracelets and runs away to "Man's World"....which would likely equate to New York...with the belief that the mortals are worth saving. Combine that with the mythological sword/shield element and you basically have the Justice League's Thor, a slightly headstrong yet noble soul trying to defend a modern society she doesn't quite understand.

2). The villain will make or break the movie. The sad fact is that Wonder Woman doesn't have the most diverse, notorious or even compelling list of villains. I'm sorry but Angle Man? Blue Snowman? Doctor Psycho? Can you even say any of these names with a straight face? I can't. And if I can't, I know for certain the non-nerds can't.

My pick for a quality villain would definitely be Ares, the god of war. Think about this: a super strong deity who has complete mastery of any weapon he puts his hands on, can influence people to be violently malicious assholes (as if we need much of a push....I mean, just look at 4Chan), and the ability to raise the dead. How awesome would a super powered street fight be between Diana and this guy? Meanwhile, Steve Trevor would be fighting undead Amazon warriors, cracking "Diana, can you hurry up before we all fucking die" running commentary.


3). For fuck's sake, put some pants on her. It's probably one of the best ideas NBC ever had (except for the stars along the seams). For one thing, there is just no way star spangled britches look good on ANYONE in real life. I imagine this is why Marvel seems to be leaning more towards a more functional style of uniform for Captain America. It's also pretty common sense for a superhero who, no matter what incarnation you use, is usually characterized as a badass fighter. Going into hand to hand combat as often as she does without armor on your legs doesn't seem tactically sound. I mean, sure, if you believe the 300 version, the Spartans did it all the time and they were also badass sword/shield fighters....but they died. And they didn't even have to fight people with guns.

Remember when this shit tried to happen?

As a viable tv/film property, Wonder Woman IS possible, but, creatively, it has to be taken as seriously as the Batman franchise or (arguably) Superman. Although there could very well be a degree of sexism involved in studios and, ultimately, DC dragging their feet to realize this, it's a dismissive, self fufilling prophecy to say that it's not possible because "nobody wants to see a movie about a feminist superhero." Feminist narrative don't necessarily equate to bra burnings and soapbox lectures about women's rights. Despite her share of sex and mushy stuff, Buffy was, more or less, Joss Whedon's epic feminist superhero legend. Alien's Ellen Ripley is a study in feminist narrative if ever there was one. Katniss Everdeen, despite being the central character in a teen drama that is basically The Running Man With Feelings, is a popular "strong female lead." So, the only real question anyone should be asking is "Why not Wonder Woman?"