Stuff I Read This Week Episode 25 or DC Should Just Make Their Slogan "...But Buy It Anyway."

Justice League #23: The one thing you can count on with DC Comics nowadays is their dedication to consistency when it comes to not only dropping the ball, but saying "Oh, well," when you ask them to pick it up. The Trinity War event gave me a small sliver of hope that Geoff Johns might have learned from his laundry list of mistakes leading up to this event. Alas, that'll teach us to expect anything other than sparkling excellence in failure from New 52 events that aren't Batman or Green Lantern based. Remember Bulletproof, that video game 50 Cent made a while back where you'd go through level after tedious shoot'em-up level for your only reward to be unlocking free downloads of 50 Cent's albums? Well, this was a lot like that.

This issue wraps up the mini-series that has all three Justice Leagues racing against time to unlock the mystery of Pandora's Box before....something....can happen. While they're waiting for the answers to jump up and bite them in their asses, our heroes pass the time by beating the shit out of each other for no real reason. The Trinity of Sin (Question, Pandora and Phantom Stranger), who seemed to be keeping all the answers to themselves, took a backseat in this issue as if they were saying "Whatever. They'll figure it out."

Eventually, the loose ends are tied up despite everyone's lack of trying, villains are revealed and the true purpose of the Box (aside from giving characters an excuse to fight that they didn't really need since they were already fighting) is finally discovered. I could spoil it right here, but it doesn't even matter. Because the real objective of the box, much like this book, was to open a gateway to making you buy the next event series, Forever Evil.

They didn't even see fit to give us an ending. I'm not kidding. There a beginning, a middle, and that's it. Secrets were reveal, but almost NO conflicts were resolved. There was a traitor, a big fight, new villains we've haven't been properly introduced to, and at least one character who was critically injured and we don't know how ANY of it turned out. As much as I like Ivan Reis' artwork, the liberty of using "splash pages" was abused worse than the Dallas Cowboys during an away game. I hypothesize that if it weren't for all the splash pages, this six issue event would have condensed down to three plus a bonus prologue in the back of an issue of Savage Hawkman or some other book nobody's reading.

Bottom Line: This book is DC's very polite way of telling you how stupid they think you are. Oh and Watered-Down-Not-Quite-John-Constantine is still kinda awesome. 5 out of 10.


Lazarus #3: It's hard not to be pulled into this interesting mix of Dollhouse meets Virtual Light. If there's one thing comics are good for aside from superhero sagas, it's good sci-fi dystopia. It's only the third issue, but it's clear that Forever Carlyle is a female lead with a few interesting layers. The flickers of vulnerability in the wake of her kickassery smack pleasantly reminiscent of Selene from Underworld (the good one...before it all went wrong). Rucka's future vision, despite being slightly familiar, is still a welcome and compelling read that takes a small detour this month.

This issue slows down for a dose of building between characters, focusing primarily on the dynamic between Forever and her rival family counterpart, Joacquim. The well of unsaid feelings between the two of them, while well written, feels almost obligatory in this storytelling age of Twilight. We've come to a point where we consume books and television that basically leaves us either nonplussed about two characters hooking up or marginally shocked when they don't hook up. Also, the Carlyle twins, Jonah and Johanna are so overt in their mustache twirling and scheming, I was wondering if they were just going to cut out the middle man and start tying random stock characters to train tracks. In many ways, the not-so-weighty, one dimensional characters are a testament to how well crafted Forever is. However, there's enough side story here with the obvious road to war between the two families on the horizon, the book isn't a wash as long as you know things are going to pick up again (if the ending is any indication). Michael Lark artwork is outstanding at setting a dark, hopeless tone as an appropriate compliment for what Rucka does well here.

Bottom Line: A little slower than past issues, but there's enough meat on the hook to leave us ready for shit to get real next month. 7.5 out of 10.