Spider Woman: **clears throat**
Captain America: Okay, listen up....everyone. Sorry, Jessica.
Hawkeye: Yeah, Steve, if you have another complaint like last time, Maria Hill's going to make us do that sensitivity training again.
Wolverine: The next shrink that makes me sit through one of those sexual harassment videos is getting a claw in the eye.
Thor: Aye, friend Logan. The green one was not amused, either.
Hawkeye: You know, I was meaning to ask someone about that. Should the Hulk really be getting in touch with his inner Justin Bieber or whatever? That should take away from his productivity. I mean, isn't aggression the whole reason the Hulk is the Hulk in the first place?
Spider Woman: Easy for you to say. You didn't have that gorilla grab your ass on the jet during that thing that time.
Captain America: People, please! I called this meeting to talk about the Spider-Man issue.
Black Widow: I'd like to talk about that, too. I mean, I liked Django Unchained, but Jamie Foxx as Electro??
Captain America: I didn't mean....
Spider Woman: Yeah, and that last movie....why did Andrew Garfield take his mask off ALL the time?
Hawkeye: Considering that guy leaves his damn mask in the bathroom all the time, I think it's pretty accurate.
Captain America: That's not what I was.....
Iron Man: Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late. I was doing an interview for Maxim magazine.
Black Widow: Of course you were. You're probably on the cover again.
Iron Man: Actually, no, a Kardashian is on the cover. I was actually conducting the interview.
Hawkeye: By that, you mean you were sleeping with her, right?
Iron Man: Wrong. Nobody slept. What'd I miss? Is this about sensitivity training?
Captain America: We're meeting today to figure out how we're going to deal with the Spider Man issue.
Iron Man: Good. I mean, I liked Django Unchained, but.....
Captain America: No! Spider Man hasn't been himself lately. His behavior as of late has been....excessive.
Spider Woman: Excessive compared to what? Hitting people in the face with a big metal shield?
Captain America: That's different.
Spider Woman: How?
Captain America: Because I wear the American flag when I do it.
Hawkeye: I don't know, Cap. She's got a point. I mean, look at Wolverine. His power is basically stabbing people.
Black Widow: You mean it's not beer?
Wolverine: I'm right here, assholes.
Captain America: Hey! Focus! Spider Man! This is footage of him beating up Screwball, a thief who makes her escapes via parkour and broadcasts it via the internet.
Iron Man: Okay, that's just stupid.
Captain America: So, you see my point?
Iron Man: Yeah. I mean.....who steals stuff and posts it on YouTube?
Captain America: That's not my point at all.
Black Widow: I mean, Cap...Spider Woman had a point. I mean, I'm a spy. Everyone in the intelligence community knows I'm a spy. And an assassin.
Captain America: Yeah, but you're doing it for your country.
Black Widow: And Russia.
Hawkeye: I kill people, too, Cap.
Thor: In fairness, Steven Rogers, I do not wield a hammer for its decorative applications.
Wolverine: I've been killing people for at least a hundred years. And I'm Canadian.
Captain America: But Spider Man did it on live television.
Wolverine: I did it in a movie. I mean, I stabbed everybody in that movie. AND I'm pretty sure I took a bullet to the head.
Spider Woman: Logan, you should really stop being proud of that movie. Seriously. We're ready whenever you are.
Thor: Aye.
Hawkeye: Yeah, I think this is a non issue.
Black Widow: I second that.
Wolverine: Yeah, I'm outta here. I'm going to catch up on Walking Dead.
Captain America: But....America. Freedom. Tony, help me out here.
Iron Man: ......
Captain America: Tony! Are you in there?
Iron Man: What? Oh, sorry. I got distracted. Watching Game of Thrones in here. These dragons are.....
Thor: Nay, Tony Stark!!! Spoilers!!!
Captain America: **sigh**
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