The Week In Geek 6/22/16: Civil War II Is Stupid So Far

So, Civil War II: Civil Harder, has begun in the Marvel Universe and we're two issues in so that's as good a place as any to start talking about it.

Disclaimer: I'm talking about Civil War II, so I'm talking directly about the plot which means there are spoilers. So, if you guys don't want to hear about it, go ahead and jump ship now. Otherwise, there are spoilers after the jump. I've warned you.

The Week in Geek 6/8/16: A DC Reboot Is Problematic or Water Is Wet.

As much as I tried to avoid talking about this, here I am giving my limited viewpoint of DC Rebirth, DC's attempt to fix something that used to be broken but isn't really THAT broken anymore but made a lot of people mad back when it was broken. First of all, trying to undo the sins of the New 52, something fans were pissed about five years ago, now that it turns out Big Two comic sales are looking down recently is like an abusive spouse taking you to Red Lobster because they remembered you asked for it five years ago when you met: Thanks but you'd still appreciate it if they stopped abusing you. (From this point, I discuss actual events that have taken place in certain DC comics, so if you're not at least two weeks up to date and you actually care about spoilers, go ahead and stop here. For everyone else, further discussion happens after the jump.)

The Week in Geek: 5/25/16 or My Breakup With Arrow

So, This Week in Superhero Television.....I think I'm done with Arrow. For those of you that don't follow me on Twitter, I do the weekly livetweet for Flash and Arrow under the Black Nerd Problems account. One of my editors, Omar Holmon, used to do it, but I think his neighbors found out he was stealing cable and he had to shut that shit down. Anyway, I'd usually be honored by the opportunity, but Arrow's redemption season has been a painful trudge to the middle of the road. I mean, the show has maintained a steady standard of "not as good as The Flash but better than Legends of Tomorrow" but let's be honest; that's not a high bar to clear in the first place.

When this season started, there seemed to be some light at the end of the tunnel, an attempt to right some of the creative wrongs committed in the previous season. But the writers seemed to make an almost deliberate attempt to solve those problems by either highlighting everything that's been wrong with the show or stepping over said problems altogether. Case in point, the Black Canary II. There has been no one more against Laurel Lance taking her sister's mantle than me. They choreographed her fight choreography terribly and she spent the past two seasons being unnecessarily unlikeable. So, you would think I would be happy they killed her off. But then, her Earth 2 doppelganger shows up on The Flash and she stole the whole episode. She was an amazingly fun villain as the Black Siren, it brought into realization that the writers just plain squandered her on Arrow as opposed to the thought that she'd fallen so hard, she couldn't be written back into glory again. It was just a waste, retrospectively.

The finale was like a window display of everything that's been wrong with this show. Much of this show has been about Oliver Queen's fight against his darker nature and the killer instincts that he picked up during his time on The Island From LOST. For a few episodes, they telegraphed to viewers that the way to combat Damian Dahrk's Sith Lord Magic was for him to expel the darkness in his own heart and embrace the light. But in the end....after Dahrk's magic was nullified by the people of Star City using The Third Act In Dark Knight Rises against him...Oliver ended up succumbing to the darkness by killing Dahrk after he was clearly beaten. Even Diggle, the Arrow's moral compass ended up giving into his dark side by murdering the older brother whose soul he'd been trying to save all season because Andy trolled him a little in defeat. I mean, really, Diggle had turned to the dark side when he tried to kidnap his enemy's wife and pistol whipped her in broad daylight, but hey....who's counting at this point? It's just strange that the show has spent all this time cloning Batman (more blatantly in the finale than ever before) and yet picked the strangest time to step out of Batman's shadow. One of the big problems with American shows like this is that they go on past their structural shelf life. In a perfect world, Arrow would have ended after Season Two when he defeated Slade Wilson and conquered the darkness within the second time (he's gone back and forth about killing no less than four times not including his useless flashbacks to The Island From LOST). But because the endgame is to monopolize CW with entire blocks of the Arrowverse (as is more evident by the inclusion of Supergirl), these shows have to go on being built far away from the foundations they were built on and the past season is the resulting category 4 shit storm. Rest In Peace, Arrow. We will never forget. But we will try.

My comic reviews for the week on Star Wars and The Mighty Thor are available on Black Nerd Problems. And don't forget my ongoing webcomic series with Katie Coats, Neverland: The Untold.

A Brief Opinion of Civil War

So, I finally got around to getting out to the theater to see Civil War yesterday (I waited a week so there'd be less humans and crying babies to trigger my Akira-like, rage powered telekinesis) and I'm going to go ahead and skip the obvious angle of comparing to the DC's latest dumpster fire, Batman v Superman because the comparison is almost insulting to Civil War which is, undoubtedly, the better movie on virtually every discernible level. I'm going to jump out there and say that this movie is the linchpin that makes the Captain America trilogy surpass the Dark Knight trilogy which, up to this point, was the Godfather of superhero sagas.

There are spoilers after the jump. Not a lot or even major spoilers, but there are spoilers there. So, yeah.

The New Game of Thrones Trolling Experience

So, Game of Thrones happened in the past couple of weeks. I was going to do a post about it after the season premiere but I wanted to wait until two episodes had passed because GoT has a habit dedicating one episode purely to set-up for what's to come. And that's basically what happened.

For those of you keeping score, that's that kid's uncle. He's also
that kid's father AND he fucked the boy's mom in that same spot.

I'm glad I waited until after the second episode to form an opinion because it's plainly obvious now that the format has changed. Obviously (except for the Iron Islands stuff), the showrunners have run out of book material to follow and honestly, it's the best goddamned thing to happen to this show in the past two seasons. See, there was a time when the showrunners made an attempt at a 1:1 representation of the source material as established by George R. R. Martin and before anything else, Martin is an extinction level troll. He loves that people lose their collective shit when someone who may or may not have deserved it gets killed off. That said, the source material can be long and torturous to its characters. So, "staying faithful" to it means we would have had to sit through half a season of Roose Bolton telling Ramsey to get his shit together after he does something unforgivably evil and macabre or no less than six episodes of Tyrion Lannister realizing that he is the smartest person in the room and STILL has to be the one to do the legwork nobody else wants to do in the service of saving the day. But now that the ship is set on "sail", the showrunners get to advance the plot at their leisure. So, now, Arya only has to go through a couple episodes of Daredevil training before we see some payoff. Just two episodes before Ramsey finally gets sick of his father's shit and does the thing we all knew he should have done a season ago (Jesus Christ, he had his JUST BORN baby brother fed to dogs on sight before even washing his father's blood off the dagger). As the writer of a comic whose first issue is primarily set-up, I appreciate the time it takes to create a universe and lay groundwork, but I feel like we're at a point where the training wheels can be taken off and viewers can all have an experience together without being divided by people who are on the edge of their seat and people who've read the books and are just waiting for one shoe or another to drop. We can all be trolled together and that's a good thing....unless they start with that rape shit again.

My comic review for the week on Invincible Iron Man is up and available on Black Nerd Problems for your viewing enjoyment. Feel free to like, share or comment at your own discretion

The Week In Geek 4/20/16

So, This Week In Excuses to Move On From Batman v Superman.....It's recently been announced that Marvel/Disney's Inhumans movie, previously scheduled for a July 2019 release, no longer has a release date. That's not to say that it's no longer on the schedule but usually when things like this happen, it's because the studio has to make room for an impending franchise (**cough** Spider Man) because his appearance in the previews for a certain upcoming film (**cough** Civil War) has tested well thus far, so it's probably a good thing that they're staying flexible with this Marvel Cinematic Universe. After all, they should probably have time to rethink whatever they had in mind for the film since Agents of SHIELD has spent the past two seasons mining the whole Inhumans thing with their Secret Warriors plotline (which has successfully reinvigorated the show with a new sense of identity).

Also, there's the whole rumor that Marvel might be coming to an mutual X-Men deal with Fox to use them....but I don't believe that shit just yet, so we'll move on.

This Week in Superhero Television.....It turns out there is a script in the can for Krypton, a Gotham style Superman prequel show. Apparently, the pilot is set two generations before Krypton's destruction where Superman's grandfather tries to bring honor back to the House of El. Here's why this is stupid. Why the FUCK are we doing a show about a planet we KNOW is going to die. I mean, we actually know how this is going to end. There are literally NO STAKES involved. Now, there is a chance that they could take this in a psuedo-Game of Thrones direction where upper crust Kryptonians wrestle for political and military power, which would wipe away the time honored "We were a peaceful, technologically advanced and unilaterally boring as fuck civilization that basically sets the stage to let our future protagonist grow up with abandonment issues" approach we've seen for God knows how long. However, this premise as is has the same problem Gotham has: primetime superhero television's compulsive need to appeal to the Lowest Common Denominator viewer that will be perfect happy just to name drop popular names from the comics wherever possible (which, in a show two generations before anything relatively Superman happens, consists exclusively of Zod, Jor-El and maybe Brainiac depending on what version you're going with). And sure, Titanic took place in an ill fated setting too and it made tons of money, but this is primetime (probably broadcast basic cable at best) television so it's highly doubtful that any network that falls under that umbrella is willing to shell out that level of production quality to a show about Superman's grandfather. So, we'll see.

My comic reviews for the week on Tokyo Ghost, The Mighty Thor and Superman: American Alien are up and available on Black Nerd Problems for your viewing pleasure.

And don't forget about my the latest page of my comic collaboration with Katie Coats, Neverland: The Untold. As always feel free to like, share and comment at your leisure. You know the drill.

The Problem With Fanboys: Batman v Superman Edition

So, the reviews are for Batman v Superman and at this point, I think we're far enough away from the release to say the overall response is somewhat mixed (which is mainly considered bad for a movie that made no bones about putting all of its eggs firmly in one basket. The most entertaining aspect so far has been the backlash to the backlash. As someone that wanted this film to be good enough to rival Marvel or at least show the potential to do so, it is hilarious to watch DC fans who bet the farm on Dawn of Justice do backflips to defend it at its most indefensible moments. 

Serioiusly, guys, it's come down to people claiming that people hating it because of their "Marvel bias" is what has caused the movie to tank. The argument is that fans are being hyper critical of plotholes that they would have let pass in a Marvel movie. Now, that could be so. After all, plenty of good movies have inconsistencies. The problem is that Batman v Superman doesn't do itself any favors. See, plotholes can be overlooked if the movie manages to be entertaining and effective in other aspects. For example, if Robert Downey Jr. is entertaining enough, it's easy to forget about some instances in The Avengers movies when logic falls apart. Now, multiply that factor times Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Joss Whedon's sarcastic self aware script (in the first movie, at least), the occasional Don Cheadle "BOOM, you looking for this?" joke, etc. It's drinking Jack and Coke; you coating something arguably hard to swallow with something that is decidedly less hard to swallow. To call Batman v Superman hard to swallow would be a vast understatement. And it's not just because sad sack ass Movieverse Superman is like the superhero version of Eyeore from Winnie the Pooh or because Batman (despite being awesome) was a walking Call of Duty killstreak or because parts of the movie require the lead characters (one of which is the World's Greatest Detective) to be utterly stupid for the barely discernible plot to make sense. It's the fact that all of these put together amount to Zack Snyder's blatant disdain for his audience. He was so obviously salty about having to tone it down and being unable to do new Superman murder, he devoted the opening to a ground level, 9/11 view of the old Superman murder. This isn't even speculation because Snyder has been trying to justify himself since Man of Steel, saying weird shit like superheroes murdering are okay as long as they don't murder as much as the First Order from The Force Awakens (for those of who didn't see The Force Awakens, Zack Snyder compared the two most popular superheroes in human history to an empire of evil space nazis capable of destroying star systems. That his benchmark for good guy murder, y'all.

Marvel has demonstrated at least some regard for doing what they believe the fans want. Even when you have to eat your vegetables (Thor 2), you're offered some dessert (Guardians of the Galaxy) when you finish them. Dawn of Justice is an marginally edible block of instant microwaveable meat loaf and Zack Snyder is the barely attentive nanny who just wants you to shut the fuck up and finish your dinner while he eats your dessert right in front of you. There's a scene where Holly Hunter looks terrified at the sight of a jar of human urine, a callback to Lex Luthor's metaphor about pissing on someone and telling them it's Granny's Peach Tea. First off, the idea of a superhero movie that features a giant jar of piss is, in itself, beyond the pale. Second, it's actually a very apt metaphor for the movie and the director's relationship with it and the viewership. Batman v Superman is two hours of piss and Zack Snyder hates you for not having the imagination to pretend it's peach tea as you choke it down. So, there's that.

Don't forget to check out my Black Nerd Problems comic review of Invincible Iron Man. Feel free to like, review, and comment as you see fit.