The Killing Joke: Hard Pass.

So, this week in Doing It Wrong, it turns out that DC's animated adaptation of Alan Moore's Killing Joke story holds true to DC's long standing tradition of taking things Alan Moore did and making them worse. It's been leaked that the movie takes a Batman and Batgirl's relationship down a different road. Long story short....they fuck.

idk how to feel about this pic.twitter.com/gsBGHsYet5

— ☕ (@AcroNite7) July 22, 2016

It's not enough that DC would be so socially out of touch with their audience's current social issues that they would think it's a good idea to bring back an infinitely triggering story with questionable gender politics. It's not enough that they have to go the extra mile and strain an already borderline non-existent relationship with a creator they've alienated countless times over the years. But then they have to change a story to make it twice as problematic at a time when readers seem to enjoy Barbara Gordon as Batgirl (one of the few things the New 52 reboot got right in retrospect), kicking ass. Why open yourself up to even more feminist critique than this story already deserves (and make no mistake....it deserves a great deal of feminist critique)? Just for context, we're talking about a story where even Moore himself, who has a long history of writing super rapey books, admitted that the editorial team at the time should have stepped in and stopped him. We're at a point where we shouldn't still be having rudimentary conversations about using women as props to anger men into battle to slay the dragon.

It's not even necessary in a Batman story. The character has virtually every reason to be pissed off built into him already. He's a traumatized orphan fighting in the most crime-y city ever in the history of comics. And, really, that's just if the writers in question decide he even needs a reason which, according the Arkham game series, he doesn't. Now, you have to give him yet another pseudo-girlfriend to house all his commitment issues? DC seems to be wearing their inability to "get it" right for women like an awarded badge of honor. The Killing Joke is their acceptance speech.



My comic reviews for the week on Star Wars and the exponentially bad Green Lanterns are up and available on Black Nerd Problems for your viewing enjoyment. And don't forget my webcomic collaboation with Katie Coats, Neverland: the Untold. This week was a double page week to get us back on schedule so check out Pages 31 AND 32.

The Week in Geek 6/8/16: A DC Reboot Is Problematic or Water Is Wet.

As much as I tried to avoid talking about this, here I am giving my limited viewpoint of DC Rebirth, DC's attempt to fix something that used to be broken but isn't really THAT broken anymore but made a lot of people mad back when it was broken. First of all, trying to undo the sins of the New 52, something fans were pissed about five years ago, now that it turns out Big Two comic sales are looking down recently is like an abusive spouse taking you to Red Lobster because they remembered you asked for it five years ago when you met: Thanks but you'd still appreciate it if they stopped abusing you. (From this point, I discuss actual events that have taken place in certain DC comics, so if you're not at least two weeks up to date and you actually care about spoilers, go ahead and stop here. For everyone else, further discussion happens after the jump.)

So...Whatever Happened to Elseworlds?

"I'm just saying, guys, Cap never has to
chase naked people."

So, this week, the big announcement went out that Marvel would be doing a major crossover with Attack on Titan. No, I'm not kidding. The "female" Titan from the series will be attacking New York City so it'll be up to the superhero citizens (of which there are many) to stop it before it...umm...kills people, I guess. At first my reaction was, "Okay, but why?" Did anyone ask for this? I mean, I knew Attack on Titan was really popular, but I didn't know it had reached Random 90s Style Crossover Status. I also didn't realize that Marvel was moving so fast towards Total Media Saturation (imagine that I said that in my Spock voice). But then, the real question occurred to me: Why isn't DC doing this?

I mean, I can't be the only person who remembers when this kind of shit was their bread and butter. DC Elseworlds has been around for decades (and yes, I'm counting the years before it was an official imprint) in one way or another, always making a much bigger splash than Marvel's What If? stories even though, to be fair, that's really an apples/oranges comparison (What If stems from an existing place in Marvel's canon where Elseworlds stories exist in a whole different universe). And there are plenty of notable cases where, although they're not considered canon in the main DC Universe, some Elseworlds stories are still considered gospel among fans. Despite their failed attempts to fold it into the existing timeline, Kingdom Come is STILL hailed by many (including myself) as one of the greatest Superman stories of all time.

The Dark Knight Returns, though it is STILL not counted as Elseworlds for some reason (I suspect DC is still looking for an opening to make this fit within the main timeline), is the source for a lot of how we view Batman today. The story planted the seeds necessary for Tim Burton and Anton Furst to take Batman out of the '66 Adam West version pop culture had known him for and into the gritty, gothic wonderland we know him and Gotham for now.

With all that said, it's really weird that DC doesn't seem to put a whole lot of effort into Elseworlds. Now, I can understand not seeing anymore of the company crossovers (remember the mid/late 90s when it looked like Marvel and DC might pretend to get along?) since it is entirely likely that DC has burned so many bridges with their "Conquer or Copy" initiative that Marvel or any other self respecting major publisher would rather sell their left testicles to One Direction before ever working with them. But playing around with their characters (usually Batman and Superman), giving readers exciting alternatives within their own company is one of those perks that made DC itself that much more fun. In the era of the New 52, not having that around anymore leaves them feeling sort of rigid....which seems to be the one problem DC never seems to have ANY interest in fixing.

I get that alternate universes can make it confusing when you're trying to invite new readers in from the movie theaters (even though the New 52 is now up three different Earths and an ongoing Grant Morrison series about parallel dimensions). I even get that DC's trying to align their movies and their comics to a point where the graphic novels are just movie companions. I would, however, feel a little better about it if they could at least pretend they were doing more than streamlining their brand for the sake of blatant cash grabs. Then again, I could be wrong.

Is Harley Quinn The New Deadpool?

So, the Suicide Squad recently got rebooted AGAIN. At this point, I think it's hot on the Legion of Superheroes' heels for "most times canceled by DC Comics." In fact, I'm pretty sure they're both at least one more cancellation away from a free Firehouse sub. I was really ready to give it a chance and decide on it myself except 1). I think I'm getting to the age where I don't have to test out every single thing that shows up out of curiosity (I still haven't seen Battleship because I KNOW it's trash) and 2). I've never seen a book that was voted off the island so unanimously. I mean, I haven't seen or heard a single positive thing about Suicide Squad this time around. And now, it's got me wondering: What is it that DC is getting SO wrong about the Suicide Squad? Honestly, the team seems to get generally positive responses in their appearances on Justice League Unlimited and, recently, Arrow. But the book never catches fire for very long.

It so happened that, as I was contemplating this, I ran into one of my readers (Yes, on occasion, I do indeed run into people who read the blog and engage them about what they've read) who'd noticed the same thing I had that the book just can't seem to get lightning to strike for some reason. Now, both of us are stumped on the franchise in general, but he had an idea about this incarnation in particular: Harley Quinn. I don't read as much DC as he does to have noticed it, but hypothesized that Harley Quinn is slowly becoming the new Deadpool. And he kinda had a point. I remember reading issue zero of her solo series and most of it was basically her breaking the fourth wall interacting with the readers and the writers, very similar to Deadpool's knowledge that he's a comic character in a fictional world. In DC's need to give her an identity aside from being the Joker's girl Friday (since Joker has been intentionally absent), she's become sort of a gag character. On one hand, if this is a mandated plot on DC's part, there is a chance it's not going to fly because the problem with DC's mandated plots is that they usually feel like mandated plots. It's as there are a bunch of old white men sitting in a boardroom listening to an intern talk about way to increase their humor quotient by 35 percent (Because let's face it, DC is the GOP to Marvel's Democrats).

On the other hand, DC could use some levity. I've remarked before that the problem with the New 52 from the start has been that it's not nearly as fun as it could be. Lobo used to be their joke character, but in keeping with the whole "the New 52 is because because it's all hardcore" thing, they've taken Lobo and allowed him to win enough pokebattles to evolve into Chris Cornell, so he's out of the "fun" column.

He just looks like he's saying,
"Lobo will sex you now."

So, in truth, there's the possibility that Harley Quinn COULD be DC's answer to Deadpool as long as they remember to value the character for actual gags and over just being there. The problem with Deadpool is that Marvel rarely uses him for actual jokes anymore. His just being on the cover of a book he has nothing to do with or appearing in the the book to break the fourth wall is joke enough for the writers even when Deadpool isn't actually doing anything funny. From what little I've read (and I invite any of you who've read more of her stuff to fill me in a bit more), it seems like she could go this route if left unchecked and, in turn, become unfunny really quickly.


They also have to put a cap on oversexualizing her. The amazing thing about Deadpool is that he is (or has the potential to be when he's not Marvel one trick pony gag) a hilarious character despite a rather depressing backstory. (Granted, Spider-Man is pretty funny despite a laundry list of horrible shit happening to him, but you can always fall back on the idea that he's laughing to keep from crying or pissing his pants that he's fighting a guy who throws exploding jack-o-lanterns. Deadpool is laughing because he's just plain crazy.) DC caught a lot of bullshit because of a fan art contest a while back where you had to draw Harley Quinn dying in these horrible ways. Never mind that DC was making light of suicide at one of the worst possible times of this generation to make fun of suicide. That's a whole other post. The problem was the context. Usually, you can get away with this shit when it's done under the "crazy" umbrella, but it wasn't. The main context was that Quinn is a ditzy blonde who giggles and squeals and doesn't know much better (although, the Bruce Timm version from Batman: The Animated Series was a big contribution to that, but that's also another post). Play up the crazy and it might work out, but we all know how horrible DC is with gender politics.

Is Harley Quinn becoming the new Deadpool? Not yet, but she could be. Then again, I could be wrong.  

The Week In Geek 9/10/14

So, this week, the second issue in the Death of Wolverine dropped. I'm not going to give some in depth overview of the story or dissect the event. Because I'm not reading it. I just plain have no desire to see how Wolverine meets his end for at least the third time I can think of. I think this represents two different sides of the same problem. First and foremost, it's indicative of the overall fan fatigue brought on by years of oversaturation. I mean, let's face it. At one point not too long ago, Wolverine was the centerpiece for 3 different solo(ish) ventures, 3 X-Men titles, 2 Avengers titles all at once. And let's not forget he was basically the star of the first 3 X-films on top of his two solo movies. It's easy to see how people could get fed up with the little fella.

On the other hand, I can't help but feel like this is also the result of fandom reaping what it sowed. There was a time when fans wanted All Wolverine Everything. If he was on the cover of something, that something sold twice as much as it would have without him. He was like the Spock of X-Men. Of course, Spock wasn't simultaneously the captain of two Starships, a Federation space station, a Romulan Warbird and organizing Klingon Poker Night on Thursdays, but still....fans LOVED Wolverine and so comicdom gave them all the Wolverine they could stand. I'm just sayin....there's an ebb and flow.

Besides, we all know he'll be back. The only death so far I've been led to believe is going to stick for the forseeable future is Charles Xavier. I mean, the X-Men have been mourning him for two or three years now. Usually, there's an underlying agenda to make sure you're not comfortable with that character being gone because We All Know They'll Be Back. It's been two years since Avengers vs. X-Men and Marvel is STILL putting Professor X in the ground. Even now, two years later, Uncanny X-Men's latest story arc is "The Last Will and Testament of Charles Xavier." It's like every other month, they're saying "No, seriously. He's dead. Don't wait up." Now, don't get me wrong. This doesn't mean it's a done deal that he's gone forever, but Marvel's biggest non-Spider Man cash cow gone forever when there's another X-Men movie AND solo sequel in the pipeline (honestly, those movies are so awful, they're better promo for the comics than vice versa)? Not gonna happen.

Anyway, my comic reviews for the week are available at Black Nerd Problems for your viewing pleasure. Also, make sure to give the follow up to my Black Panther analysis a look. Feel free to click, comment, share at your leisure. This week, I took a look at:

Batman Eternal: Probably one of the best issues of the series. This book is a lot more effective now that Scott Snyder's overall plotline is getting down to brass tacks. I really enjoy the return of Hush, but I can't help but feel like he's been used enough that his "holy shit" factor may have dwindled slightly. I think time will tell as the next phase of the new big bad's plan for Gotham gets even worse.

Ms. Marvel: First of all, this is one of the best looking books in Marvel's rotation. Easily. Adrian Alphona never fails to deliver these fantastic moments that, on their own, could convey the tone and emotion of the book as a whole. There is no more priceless moment than Kamala Khan pouncing on Lockjaw (as much as a dog like that will allow, anyway), loving on him like he's a damned teddy bear. Second, this is one of the most well-written books in Marvel's rotation hands down. G. Willow Wilson is doing a great job of keeping this book interesting and I'm so excited to see where else it can go.

Batman- Future's End #1: This was an awesome one shot future vision. I have to admit...ever since the "Epilogue" episode of Justice League Unlimited, I'm a complete sucker for the "There Must Always Be A Batman In "Gotham City" line of thinking.

Stuff I Read This Week 4/18/14

Thor, God of Thunder #21: Jason Aaron has Thor down almost to a science. So far, the God of Thunder series has been as suitably epic in scale as a series about a god could ever hope to deliver. It traverses time and space with the ease of your apartment building's elevator. The "Last Days of Midgard" story is one that has proven to be a perfect display of such scale.

This issue picks up where the last left off with Present Time Thor at odds with an evil conglomerate so intent on mining the Earth's resources until it dies, you would almost think Aaron had borrowed a villain directly from Captain Planet. This alone makes for interesting conflict, reminding our hero that not every villain is one that he can defeat with a swing of his hammer. It also gives us more of Thor's newfound (kinda) girlfriend, SHIELD agent Roz Solomon, who serves as a nice sidekick to teach the God of Thunder something about dealing with earthly ways like lawyers. It's funny as all hell, too. Then, there's my favorite part where, in the far future, Old Thor, ruler of Asgard gets into a fistfight....let me reiterate....a knockdown, drag-out street fight with GALACTUS!!!! It's pretty difficult to get more epic than that. I can practically hear the nerds five years from now in their "who would win" fights citing that time when Thor got into it with Galactus and lived (we think so far). Of course, none of this would leap off of the page the way it does if it weren't for Esad Ribic. With his sweeping sense of scope and his taste for detailed landscapes adds to the flavor of Aaron's tale of legends. In fact, each page has the kind of style one would think you might find in a sacred tome telling the myths of the Asgardian prince.

Bottom Line: Jason Aaron is telling some of the best stories in Thor's history. This issue is no different. 9 out of 10

Batman #30: Scott Snyder's run on Batman in the New 52 era has had some pretty impressive successes. The Zero Year saga in particular has been his best work on the series. We've seen a fun, swashbuckling take on the Bat-mythos that puts a fun spin on an endlessly retreaded origin. We see a wild-eyed Batman who shoots from the hip, curses and smiles from time to time. But the most notable highlight of this entire series has been the Riddler. 

The evolution of Edward Nygma is one that can only be seen to believed. Over the years, he's been a Woody Allen-esque sidekick to Catwoman, a world class thief and even a detective. Here in the latest issue going into the "Savage City" story, we see a maniacal mastermind who has been one step ahead of the Dark Knight Detective with Gotham completely under his thumb. This story thus far highlights three particularly interesting things. First, this is probably the MOST diabolical we've ever seen the Riddler, capitalizing on opportunities left behind by the various goings-on in the city. The second notable is that Snyder has become adept at making Jim Gordon almost a superhero in his own right and appropriately so. The point of Batman (most especially in the Dark Knight era of the character) is that he brings criminals down a peg so that the law can work for itself. In that context, there is pretty much no greater champion of good in Gotham than Gordon. He's the city's rock. Zero Year has been great at shining a spotlight on his heroics. And finally, the BEST thing is that in the era in which Batman is seen as an unfallible ubermensch of sorts, we see him dealing with failure. This is what it's like when The World's Greatest Detective isn't always in control, who doesn't go into battle with the upper hand on his foe. It's actually a very nice change of pace. At this point going into the perfection that Greg Capullo's artwork is almost an exercise in redundancy. His detailed layouts are great at depicting a defeated wasteland of a city.

Bottom Line: This is easily one the best books DC has to offer. If you're not reading it at this point, I don't know what else you're doing. 9 out of 10.

The Cyborg Problem

Some of you...many of you, I wager...have probably noticed my Facebook and Twitter pages have lately been full of Cyborg "shade" and wondered why I have it out for this character in particular.

I went to sleep to @letsgetfree13 shading Cyborg & I woke up to the same. This may have been one if the best follows I've made recently.
— Felonious Donk (@PhaxSimile) March 2, 2014

Well, I was with some friends a week or two ago watching Justice League: War, DC's latest bastardization of their New 52 material. I'm not going to into why I didn't particularly enjoy the movie or the source material it was based on. That's a whole other post. I mentioned how I didn't like Cyborg being placed on the Justice League roster for one simple reason.

Cyborg is the epitome of why DC's black characters (except Green Lantern John Stewart) just don't work.

Let's take a real look at Victor Stone. There's not much to set him apart from anyone else in the Justice League. Think about it. What exactly can he do that the League needs that any of the other members can't already do? Strength? Well, that's pretty notably what Superman and Wonder Woman are for. He has a laser cannon for an arm? Green Lantern's magic wishing ring can do that plus anything else he can imagine. He can hack into computer security systems? Let's face it. DC has made Batman so annoyingly omniscient, he can hack/break/punch/think his way into virtually ANYTHING on Earth. Flash, Aquaman and even Shazam have villains tailor made to combat them and offer a significant challenge to be overcome. Name a Cyborg villain. I'll wait.

The ONLY thing that actually makes Cyborg stand out is being black. Now, let's look at his actual character development. Thus far, in the New 52 continuity, the only defining personality trait anyone can nail down is "I'm so sad that I have a metal face." Granted, tragedy isn't a new plot device or anything. After all....Batman. But there are other layers to Batman. He's meticulous, calculating, disgustingly rich, gets laid on Earth more than Captain Kirk ever did in space. Despite being a well documented loner...he's kind of a surrogate father, too. Cyborg is just really, really sad about his metal face despite being having all kinds of cool superpowers. I'm not even going to go into the possible undertones that could be assumed about the fact that only thing DC seems to be able to do remotely well with black characters is tragedy.

(This was the same problem DC had with Hal Jordan in the Green Lantern movie. These are sad times. People are sick, people are broke and someone's trying to shoot up a school or shopping mall every other week. If you have a character with a magic wishing ring or super robot powers, nobody wants to read them whining about it for 26 pages.)

With all that in mind, I repeat: the ONLY thing that separates Cyborg from the rest of the Justice League is the fact that he's black. So, when they put him on the roster, it's blatantly DC coming across as stuffy old white guys trying to condescend to readers, showing them how "down" they are by putting putting a black person with no standout qualities other than blackness next to Superman. Remind you of anyone?

Yes, that's right. Cyborg is quite literally DC's "black friend."

The sad thing is they really do mean well. It seems like they're trying to do for Cyborg what Marvel did with Luke Cage in 2000 by upgrading his character from the superhero version of Chef in South Park to what has basically turned out to be Shaft with superpowers (if he were played by Ving Rhames ten years ago). The only problem with that is Marvel does shit like that well.

Before ever becoming an Avenger, we saw Cage evolve and shine in top notch books like Alias and Daredevil (it probably helped that Brian Michael Bendis has sort of a man crush on Luke Cage). I know Luke Cage. He's is the summation of guys like my best friend and my father, an old school man of stoic conscience with pretty old school methods to superheroing and isn't always entirely sure he's supposed to be a husband and father, but sucks it up and does it anyway.

For all the complaints about her being underused (even though she's at the forefront of at least two successful X-Men titles I can think of), Storm is a pretty fleshed out character herself. She's a woman who owns her mutant powers and has always sort carried herself like royalty even before marrying (and divorcing) the Black Panther. Her history is so extensive, we've seen her overcome claustrophobia. Whether you like her character or not, you know Storm. You can repeat this with Black Nick Fury, James Rhodes, even the Falcon at this point, really.

Now, name three personality traits, defining moments or quirks about Cyborg, Mister Terrific, Black Lightning, Bronze Tiger or Aqualad (who, in fairness, was AWESOME in Young Justice). Villains? Motivations? Memorable "Real Hero" moments? Go ahead. Try. I'll wait.

Putting black characters like this on a Justice League roster for black's sake isn't giving them the respect or recognition they deserve. Taking them seriously and actually writing them is. That's why I don't take Cyborg seriously. Then again, I could be wrong.

(By the way, I've left John Stewart and Static...and even Static's cartoon got a little condescending...out of my analysis because those were two characters made awesome ONLY because of the late Dwayne McDuffie, who took advantage of post 9/11 sentiments by focusing on John Stewart's military background, almost making it a superpower in itself.)

DC vs. Marvel...Because It's Almost Required For Blogs Now

It used to be common practice that, for the sake of my reviews, I would try to pick up a equal amount of titles from the Big Two (or as close to it as possible because, let's face it, some books just suck no matter who published them) and a couple of fringe titles from IDW, Image, etc. Lately, in my weekly trip to the comic shop, I've noticed that my stack includes more Marvel and (gradually) less DC as time goes on. Why? I know I've been pretty rough on the New 52 reboot (there has GOT to be a statute of limitations on how long something can go on and still be called "New"), but there are some gems in the continuity that deserve consideration. So, what is it that could possibly annoy me so much about DC that I would grow so disinterested?

Oh, wait. I know. It's probably this.

Honestly....what the entire fuck, man? Don't get me wrong. Fold-out splash pages are not a new phenomenon in comics, but folding out/upward like this just feels (and reads) like a huge hassle. Also, you can't see it in this picture, but it's attached to what feels like glossy printer paper, suggesting that you can pull it off and use it as a poster if you're delicate enough. This isn't exactly a new occurrence in comics, either, but the problem comes when you've put dialogue on the page that is potentially a poster. Then it becomes tantamount to tearing a page out a book like Moby Dick or Interview with the Vampire, no matter how inconsequential the words on it are.

Then there's this.....

I shit you not...the WHOLE book was like this. This is, on no level whatsoever, fun or convenient to read. It's not just the fact that this particular issue was virtually unreadable plotwise. It's the fact that you have to hold it sideways like a toddler's board book. It doesn't add anything to the experience the the story itself offers. There isn't some grand pay off at the end to reading it this way. It's a "just because" solution to the DC problem when the REAL solution is "or we could just write a better book" which, in turn, creates The Other DC Problem: DC Comics is that guy you know that will do ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING to lose weight except diet and exercise.

Then, I took a good look at the Marvel NOW initiative and how they're handling the concept of "soft reboots" where they don't necessarily start all over, but bring characters to a point where, ideally, anyone (walking in cold from the movie theater) can jump right in and find themselves a new favorite character or see what's new with an old one. While you can go back and read past story arc if you're feeling particularly scholarly, the idea is that you don't HAVE to. There's actually a "quiet as kept" genius to this. I mean, no matter how thorough your reboot of a title or universe is, it's inevitable that it's going to start to grow cobwebs after a certain amount of time. Therefore, you just bring in new creative teams from time to time and offer fresh eyes to an existing situation. You pull in new readers, take the existing audience's temperature to see what characters might do well on the big screen, and basically put out monthy/biweekly promotions for movies already in the pipeline. And you Haven't Completely Alienated Your Existing Fanbase Like DC.

And so, once again, Marvel wins the race while DC trips over their own shoelaces.

SIDENOTE: If you haven't picked up Marvel's Point One Special issue, find that immediately. The Silver Surfer trying to grow hair is worth the price of admission alone.

Women and Comics: Why Not Wonder Woman?

So, now that DC Comics have finally gotten their heads in the game to actually compete with Marvel's movie universe, the comic movie gods are blessing us with a long awaited team-up between Batman and Superman in Man of Steel 2: The Steel Strikes Back. Soon after, there's supposed to be a Flash movie (I called that, by the way). But what of Wonder Woman? The quest to put the amazon on a small or silver screen seems to be a neverending battle unto itself. But why? This is a character that has survived the constant evolution of comics for just as long as Batman or Superman, who have both had more television/movie properties than I care to list here. She's had a red carpet list of writers lending their talents over the years ranging from George Perez to Jodi Picoult. What's so difficult about getting translating a story like this one to live action? Torontoist writer, Christopher Bird, hypothsizes that the problem lies with that fact that there simply hasn't been a definitive Wonder Woman from which to derive a blueprint. And that's actually sort of true. Most casual fans of Spider Man can at least name a supporting cast member (Mary Jane Watson), a villain (most likely the Green Goblin) and a definitive moment that proves to shape the character (probably Uncle Ben's death). Take a minute and do the same for Wonder Woman. I'll wait....

And in this, we find the "Wonder Woman Problem." Ask ten people to name three defining things about her and they MIGHT be able to think of "amazon", "lasso" and maybe "Lynda Carter." Fortunately, the recent revelation that DC is beginning to craft its own cinematic universe lends a little more hope towards Diana finally getting a turn at the spotlight. This is exactly what the character needs because a good movie would be more likely to give us a definitive version that the mainstream (nerds and non nerds alike) can latch onto for the forseeable future like Christopher Reeve did for Superman (I mean, lets face it....). However, there are a few things any writer/director should be aware of going into a Wonder Woman project.

1). This is going to certainly come into direct competition with Marvel, who just had the Hulk and a god help repel an alien invasion and save humanity. Granted, she has come a long way from being...let's face it...William Marston's homemade "spank bank" material. However,Wonder Woman has been a reincarnated over the years as the female version of Shazam, a kung fu master, a foreign dignitary from Amazon Island, a clay statue brought to life and a demigod. No two versions of her are ever the same. Although comic readers (especially DC readers) have come to see this as just par for the course with some characters, casual moviegoers will definitely find themselves confounded looking up information on WW when/if a movie ever gets announced. If it were me, I'd go with her being the super strong daughter of Zeus similar to (I believe) Brian Azzarello's run. Perhaps, she steals her armor and bracelets and runs away to "Man's World"....which would likely equate to New York...with the belief that the mortals are worth saving. Combine that with the mythological sword/shield element and you basically have the Justice League's Thor, a slightly headstrong yet noble soul trying to defend a modern society she doesn't quite understand.

2). The villain will make or break the movie. The sad fact is that Wonder Woman doesn't have the most diverse, notorious or even compelling list of villains. I'm sorry but Angle Man? Blue Snowman? Doctor Psycho? Can you even say any of these names with a straight face? I can't. And if I can't, I know for certain the non-nerds can't.

My pick for a quality villain would definitely be Ares, the god of war. Think about this: a super strong deity who has complete mastery of any weapon he puts his hands on, can influence people to be violently malicious assholes (as if we need much of a push....I mean, just look at 4Chan), and the ability to raise the dead. How awesome would a super powered street fight be between Diana and this guy? Meanwhile, Steve Trevor would be fighting undead Amazon warriors, cracking "Diana, can you hurry up before we all fucking die" running commentary.


3). For fuck's sake, put some pants on her. It's probably one of the best ideas NBC ever had (except for the stars along the seams). For one thing, there is just no way star spangled britches look good on ANYONE in real life. I imagine this is why Marvel seems to be leaning more towards a more functional style of uniform for Captain America. It's also pretty common sense for a superhero who, no matter what incarnation you use, is usually characterized as a badass fighter. Going into hand to hand combat as often as she does without armor on your legs doesn't seem tactically sound. I mean, sure, if you believe the 300 version, the Spartans did it all the time and they were also badass sword/shield fighters....but they died. And they didn't even have to fight people with guns.

Remember when this shit tried to happen?

As a viable tv/film property, Wonder Woman IS possible, but, creatively, it has to be taken as seriously as the Batman franchise or (arguably) Superman. Although there could very well be a degree of sexism involved in studios and, ultimately, DC dragging their feet to realize this, it's a dismissive, self fufilling prophecy to say that it's not possible because "nobody wants to see a movie about a feminist superhero." Feminist narrative don't necessarily equate to bra burnings and soapbox lectures about women's rights. Despite her share of sex and mushy stuff, Buffy was, more or less, Joss Whedon's epic feminist superhero legend. Alien's Ellen Ripley is a study in feminist narrative if ever there was one. Katniss Everdeen, despite being the central character in a teen drama that is basically The Running Man With Feelings, is a popular "strong female lead." So, the only real question anyone should be asking is "Why not Wonder Woman?"

Stuff I Read This Week Episode 27 or Villains Are People, Too.....

Batman 23.2 (Riddler): Honestly, with the exception of Geoff Johns' Forever Evil, I was ready to let DC's "Villains Month" go by unmarked and I'm actually glad I didn't. After all, the success of dedicating a comic to each of the prominent baddies of the DC universe is entirely dependent upon how interesting they are. And let's face it: DC doesn't have that many interesting bad guys. Then again, I suppose the point of having a month dedicated to villains (aside from trying to siphon money from readers like a beer tap) is to get readers interested in them if they weren't already. Fortunately, this issue of Batman gives us something to smile about unlike the Joker's rather maudlin turn at the spotlight.

The Riddler has always been a difficult character to pin a definitive characterization on because, aside from the whole riddle motif, it's hard to separate his crazy from the rest of Gotham's crazy. But Ray Fawkes (with help from Scott Snyder) manages to construct a man who works according to a planned sort of bedlam, who makes you wonder whether he's crazy....or just a douchebag. Nygma's internal narrative serves as a perfect "behind the scenes" for his riddle laden, one man attack on Wayne Enterprises much like a magician revealing how the thought processes behind his tricks. Here in this issue, we see a Riddler whose small fits of rage are every bit as haunting and entertaining as his premeditation keeping him one step ahead of Bruce Wayne's security. It's also refreshing that not all of his victims are not made to be completely incompetent just to make Nygma look smarter. Jeremy Haun's pencils are a definite enhancement here. Scenes are intimate, neat and obsessed with symmetry in every panel. It's artwork that suits a Big Bad as meticulous as the Riddler. This is completely understands the point of Villains Month and exceeds expectations to become one of the best books this week.

Bottom Line: A story like this that makes you sort of afraid of the Riddler can't help but be a winner. 9.5 out of 10.


Justice League #23.2 (Lobo): I just found out this week that theouthousers.com actually has a counter that keeps track of the number of days since the last time DC Comics did something stupid. Well, the poor bastard intern in charge of updating it can go ahead and get back to work because Dan Didio's brain trust has done it again.

Recently, it was announced that the hulking, chain toting villain we've all known as Lobo was indeed NOT the "real" Lobo. He is, in fact, an imposter that has been trading on the name and style of slimmer, martini drinking killer who looks like Jack from the White Stripes finally won enough Pokemon battles to evolve to his ultimate form. 

Sidenote: I'm sure many of you didn't know that Lobo had been reintroduced in the New 52. This is because DC did a really good job of hiding him where NOBODY will ever find him....in the pages of Stormwatch and Deathstroke. 

Marguerite Bennett is given the task of introducing us to this emo redux of the Main Man and doesn't drop the ball so much as hold the ball and gain no yardage. He didn't seem to do anything terribly badass. He talked tough, got in a fight with a couple of nobodies and that was really about it. By that criteria, he may as well be Chris Brown. Aside from being modeled after a lost member of the street team for 30 Seconds to Mars, there is almost NOTHING new separating the new Lobo from the old Lobo except maybe the fact that this one comes across as completely humorless. The thing people seemed to like about this character in the past is that he's served as DC's version of Deadpool, cracking jokes and breaking the fourth wall. He was fun. However, as we all know, there is NO fun in the New 52 era of DC. Nobody ever smiles. Everything's for the fate of the world...even when it's not. Ben Oliver and Cliff Richards' artwork is probably the one saving grace (not really saving, though) to this catastrophe. Some of the designs for the aliens and spaceships are really inspired. The Lobo we get here is a more muscular step up from the initial concept designs that got released a few weeks ago. But I could have done without so many of tilted panels throughout the book.

Bottom Line: A really good looking 30 page exercise in pointless violence compliments of the new Mickey Rourke version of a perfectly "meh" character. 5 out of 10.

Action Comics 23.2 (Zod): As divisive as Man of Steel was among fans, I am personally thankful for Zak Snyder resurrecting one of my favorite characters from Superman lore. Michael Shannon's portrayal was just as memorable as that of Terrance Stamp and is bound to have some lasting effect on the version we get in the comics to come. The first note of that is in Greg Pak's addition to Villains Month. 

This issue serves as a refreshing (and somewhat chilling) crash course in what led to a child growing up to be Krypton's greatest criminal. Although still human at his core, this is a Zod who wasn't necessarily born bad as fans of the original might come to surmise. This is a guy who seems to feel more comfortable among jungle animals with nothing but a bow and arrow than he does hobnobbing or shaking hands with politicians and dignitaries. One sympathizes. He's a determined, ambitious man who is the product of circumstances and the lessons of his father....not unlike the man who he will, one day, know as his mortal nemesis. Pak's incarnation is right on while never coming across as cartoonish or contrived. Ken Lashley's art mostly fails to disappoint in painting a diverse strange portrait of the outskirts of Krypton. He manages to make Zod's ominous gaze the creepiest part of every panel he's in. Every. Single. Panel. He offers up some truly awesome monster designs and a delightful scene of young Zod found alone surviving in the woods against vicious wildlife reminiscent. the opening scene of Arrow. The only real drawback is that the attention to detail and color suffers slightly from panels, at times, feeling a little too cluttered. Still, considering how strong this issue is, it comes across as a small flaw.

Bottom Line: This is a great primer to prepare readers for what's to come from Greg Pak's run on Action Comics. 9 out of 10.