The Week In Geek 12/17/14

My comic reviews for the week are up and available on Black Nerd Problems for your viewing enjoyment. As always, feel free to click, like, dislike, agree, disagree and share at your leisure (and your supreme leader's bidding). This week, I took a look at.....

Batman: I love what Scott Snyder's doing with what I call "The Last Joker Story," but I have to say I feel bad for whoever has to come after him. It was a couple of years after "Death in the Family" before Snyder himself could use Joker again just to give him the proper gravitas. If Endgame is headed towards an appropriately horrifying conclusion like I think it is, it's going to be tough to follow up.

Batman Eternal: So, the issue slowed the main plotline down a little bit, but the creative team definitely has a better handle on juggling multiple storylines. However, Jason Bard's character feels a little too whiny now that he doesn't have any real power and basically bungled his takedown of Batman. It was a good move to create some degree of sympathy for the character, but this version of Bard that seems to kick himself when he's down and is desperate for friends now that he's fucked up is a little depressing.

All New X-Men: For a story that has been moving so slowly, this book is SUPER entertaining. Young Beast taken captive by Doctor Doom, spilling his feelings for Jean Grey is worth its weight in gold. And Young Iceman versus the Mole Man's monsters was outstanding. Young Bobby Drake is proving to be this book's Spider Man (because every Bendis book needs a voice like Spider-Man's).

The Week In Geek 11/12/14

My reviews for the week are available on Black Nerd Problems for your viewing pleasure. Feel free to love them, hate them, comment, share them as you so please. This week, I took a look at....

Batman: The Joker's return is likely the best highlight of the week. Snyder is leaving a terrific and unique fingerprint on the Batman mythos that we'll be talking about in ten years guaranteed, but more importantly, as a Superman fan, I have to point out that Batman said it himself, "If Superman wanted to kill you, there's probably nothing that could stop him." There. He admitted it. He said it himself. It's officially canon.

Batman Eternal: I have to say I do love the New 52 idea of the Spoiler, a kid who deals in information throughout Gotham, stays a step ahead of everyone (including Batman) and feuds with her C-list supervillain father. That said, I really enjoyed her teaming up with Batman to throw down against Hush only to pull Batman's own disappearing trick in him.

Thor: I love that the Thor's ancient magic hammer basically comes with built-in tutorials and helps you learn how to use it. Also, I'm sticking firm to my theory that the new Thor is actually Odinson's SHIELD agent girlfriend, Roz Solomon, but listen, guys, don't start emailing me the plotholes in my theory. It's just a theory. Besides, plotholes or not, there's precedent for EVERYTHING in the comics.

Axis : I don't even have notes on this book. It's getting worse and worse by the week.

The Week In Geek 10/22/14

So, this week, the trailer for Avengers: Age of Ultron got leaked which seemed inevitable considering the buzz Marvel generated by stealth bombing San Diego Comic Con with a "special sneak peek" that nobody outside of that sound stage has seen to this day. I have to say that Marvel is really taking the whole thing in stride which does nothing but help their image at this point. To the surprise of nobody, what we saw in the teaser is very impressive. In particular, the shot of Hulk fighting the Hulkbuster armor looks absolutely incredible. Marvel gets better and better at capturing the essence of the mostly CGI monster every single time.

The trailer was supposed to make its debut on the upcoming episode of Agents of SHIELD (by the way, Tuesday's episode with "Mockingbird" was fucking awesome) and honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if Marvel showed the SDCC trailer instead just to keep fans happy. Also, given the bizarre ratings drop of the season so far, they could use the viewers, so my suggestion would be to watch this week's episode anyway.

My comic reviews for the week are available on Black Nerd Problems for your viewing enjoyment. This week, I took a look at:

Batman Eternal: Okay, there's been some complaints about the book's tendency to divert from the main plotline to tell some side stories and tie off hanging plotlines, but honestly, that's no different from shows like Game of Thrones and Breaking Bad. After al, the purpose for Eternal is to build a universe out of Gotham opposed to Scott Snyder's Batman, which is a more focused book that only has Batman himself to center on. With that in mind, I think it's a solid book despite some of it's issues in the art department at times.

Avengers/X-Men- Axis: Decent but sloppy. I have to appreciate the step up in the art department, but still. The resolution felt so circular. Avengers Vs. X-Men was supposed to jump start the resolution of the rift between the mutant community and the Avengers. Then, we got Uncanny Avengers as a result which was supposed to be the solution. Almost three years later, we're back to this "mutants and the government will never get along" shit. The whole thread seems to have chased its own tail.

The Week In Geek 8/20/14

My comic reviews for the week are available on Black Nerd Problems for your viewing pleasure. As always, feel free to comment, share or fling feces at anything you like or don't like. This week, I took a look at.....

Batman Eternal: I loved this issue but after writing the review, I went back and read it again and it occurred to me that Batman has the weakest material of all the principal characters....in a Batman book. I'm sort of in the middle about because on one hand, structurally speaking, Batman shouldn't have the weakest material in a Bat-book. On the other hand, if the cost of downplaying Batman (I mean, let's face...dude has had 75 years of character development) is giving Jim Gordon The GAWD all of The Glory, so be it. Because holy shit....watching him give Carmine Falcone's goons the Ice Challenge was fucking epic.

All New Ghost Rider: Okay, it's official- I fucking love this book. But I sort of want them to get away from this Bane venom steroid pills plotline and get a little more supernatural with the threats. So far, we've only seen the Rider in regular old fist fights. I'm not exactly shitting on the new guy, but the Ghost Riders of old have gone up against people like the HULK. The "Worldbreaker" Hulk....the "OhMyGodTheHulkIsAboutToRainOldTestamentArmageddonOnUsAll" Hulk. I'm just saying....I need a fight that's going to set the neighborhood on fire. But it's early, so I'll be patient. For Now.

Can we PLEASE have
Self Destruction as their theme song?

Multiversity: This is a book that really only has problems depending on how you feel about Grant Morrison books. I mean, come on, let's face it. Most Morrison books are pretty much based on whatever he's smoking that week. I'm STILL trying to figure out what the fuck Final Crisis was about. But for all its psuedo scientology babble, I actually really enjoyed this book. How could you not? A black POTUS who is actually Superman? In what world is that not awesome? And the DC spoof version of the Hulk in a diaper? I cried laughing. There were enough easter eggs and Morrison trademark to keep me entertained in a bizarre way, so yeah....I'll be back for the next issue.

The Week in Geek 8/13/14

My comic reviews for the week are available on Black Nerd Problems for your viewing pleasure. As always feel free to like, share, comment, fling poo at anything you love or hate. This week, I took a look at.....

Batman Eternal: Just in terms of going from last week to this week, this has mainly gotten back to being a good book to look at. A story that was mainly about Batman skulking around in the sewers looking for a killer shouldn't be so visually vanilla. This week was a huge improvement....except for two things.

First of all, this is the second week in a row where this book has made Jason Bard look like a complete doofus for the greater good of making Batman look cool.

Look at this:

You've got Batman going all headfirst into action. Killer Croc looking as menacing as ever like he's about to "Hulk Smash" whoever the fuck they're about to fight. And there Jason Bard, Gotham's new top cop, carefully rappelling down the fucking chasm. Granted, there's virtually no way to make a regular guy look cool while climbing, but still. They couldn't have given him a rope or something?

Second: Red Hood's mask. This is a problem and I'm not sure why its disquieted my soul so thoroughly but, goddamnit, it has. It's just gaudy as fuck. I mean, look!!!

You can't tell me that doesn't provoke some questions. Does it mold to his lips? Does he talk through the mouth? Is that mouth supposed to be  moving and we're missing it? I shouldn't be spending this much time asking this many questions about a mouth that doesn't belong to Rosario Dawson. I'm just sayin. Fix this shit, DC.

Batman: Okay, this is a nice way to follow up Zero Year. Instead of throwing us right into the next thing, Scott Snyder and Gerry Duggan give us a grace period and use this mainly one-shot issue to get us used to not having Greg Capullo around. Duggan's style is tailor made for hard boiled detective shit which is exactly what Bats gets down to here. I'm very much looking forward to what this creative team has in store.

All New X-Men: I thought I was going to miss Stuart Immonen on this book because, as much as I love Brian Bendis, he did the title a lot of favors visually. But Sara Pichelli has taken the torch and carried the fucking thing like she's been there all along. There are going to be some people that don't like this book because they feel every issue of a superhero book HAS to be about people beating the shit out of each other (though, in fairness, it's been so long since the X-family got along, readers might have forgotten what that looks like and doesn't really know how to respond). This is really no different than an episode of a television show devoted to character development. If you can sit through a whole hour of Heisenberg trying to kill a fly, I don't see why you can't read through this.

And now, in closing, the most awkward but necessary transition EVER....

So, with the turmoil in Ferguson and the untimely departure of Robin Williams, it's safe to say that this week was a particularly maudlin one. This doesn't have much to do with comics and I hate to feel like I'm ambushing you guys with some soapbox shit at the end of an emotional week, but suicide strikes a certain nerve with me, so you're gonna have to bare with me today.

If you know someone who's having a tough time to a point where they might consider hurting themselves or if you're having a hard time, hear me now. Tell someone. Tell anyone. Tell me if you have to. The only way we make it to tomorrow is together and trust me when I say this: We Want You Here. There's too many wonders in this world for us to not want to share them. There's no shame in reaching the end of your rope if there's someone waiting at the end of it to catch you. Don't let the darkness consume you. Don't wait. Don't stay silent. Don't hesitate. There's love all around if you look for it. 

1-800-273-TALK
suicide.org
crisistextline.org

The Week in Geek 8/6/14

So, this week, Black Nerd Problems published an exchange between me and my editor, Will Evans about Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and whether it's a Pass or a Play. Granted, I argued for seeing the movie mainly because thus far, I haven't personally seen any aspect of it that makes the whole thing a "non starter" like it has with some. In truth, I think the thing that has hindered the movie before we even got a trailer is the perpetual press junket. I harped on this a little bit in my Comic Con commentary last week but as a whole, (running the risk of sounding like an old man) I think cinema in general has been somewhat hindered in the era of social media.

Don't get me wrong. As a member of "New Media", I recognized how much progress has been made as far as independent property being circulated and having so many options for alternatives to hoping for the old mainstream venues to notice you. However, for the mainstream big budget films, I remember seeing nothing more than a thirty second trailer and maybe an endorsement from some fast food joint and being able to go into a movie cold with an open mind about what I was about to see. BvS is a prime example of how there is a headline now to tell you every single level of the production process to the point where there's no mystery anymore. Marvel is a pretty good example of an outfit that knows how to use the media engine to its advantage, control what gets out and treat their fanbase to some quality tidbits for its loyalty, but even with that in mind, I still basically walked into Guardians of the Galaxy KNOWING it's going to be awesome as opposed to the degree of wonder that should come from a Marvel movie that doesn't feature conventional superheroes (though, yes, I get that it's in a superhero filled universe). In any case, I'm not exactly #TeamZackSnyder, but I think I've seen enough that movie deserves a we'll see.

Also, I'll have a few thoughts about Guardians of the Galaxy up some time tomorrow.

My comic reviews for the week are up and available on Black Nerd Problems for your viewing pleasure. This week, I took a look at.....

Why the FUCK would you point your flashlight at Killer Croc
and NOT YOUR GUN?!

Batman Eternal: I think every comic has a make/break issue that can harm the quality at any given time. With Warren Ellis books, it's the overall patience of the reader. With Jonathan Hickman books, it's his tendency to meander in the world he builds for the reader. With Greg Land books, it's Greg Land. With Batman Eternal, at any given time, the artwork can easily sink this boat for that week. The gift AND the curse of having Dustin Nguyen on the title was that it raised the bar. Anyone who's seen his previous work on Batman books knows that his style feels so natural for this universe. Then, for Andy Clarke to have to follow up behind Nguyen's gorgeous work was rough. It was a decent job, but after a plot where some of the panels were simply terrifying, chasing monsters in the sewers should have felt much scarier and atmospheric than this did. Hopefully, this improves next week.

Iron Fist, The Living Weapon: I'm really having a hard time deciding whether we're going to look back in a couple of months and find this to be a sleeper hit by the time Kaare Andrews is done....or if Marvel is going to cancel it prematurely and leave us wondering what happened to this run in a few years when someone else comes along and gives it the Shang Chi treatment (I'm sorry, but that book is awful).

The Week In Geek 7/30/14

I'll have some San Diego Comic Con follow up stuff ready to go for you guys tomorrow since people asking me about certain events took up the better part of my time this week. It's flattering and a little surreal that you people seem to care so much about my opinion on these things lately. I literally can't even go on a date these days without running into a reader who says some shit like "Hey, man, your whiskey sour is on the house....but you're dead wrong about X-Men this week." Anyway, my reviews for Black Nerd Problems are up and available for your viewing pleasure. Feel free to click, share, comment and troll at your convenience. This week, I reviewed....

Batman Eternal: Listen, folks, I know this book, despite my praising it, has had some problems along the way, but this Ray Fawkes and Dustin Nguyen fall very perfectly into this supernatural, "creepy shit afoot" groove with the greatest of ease. Bringing back the Roman was awesome early in the series, but making Deacon Blackfire matter again is setting up to be a good look. I could definitely see the events of this storyline spilling out into the rest of the Bat-books just in time for some fun Halloween related books.

Uncanny X-Men: Listen, not only is this book back to being brilliant, but it's surpassed its previous brilliance. The thing about X-Men books in general is that there are often times when they work better not focusing on superhero antics. Their whole thing is making the public perception of mutants a little more upbeat, but they don't get to do that very often because most of the time, they're fighting with each other on one level or another. And even if they're not fighting each other and actually saving the world, they take it on the chin so often, they never really get around to changing minds. I think Bendis understands that X-books are at their most poignant when they centered around the idea of the X-Men as a family...sometimes fractured, always dysfunctional.

Stuff I Read This Week 6/25/14

My reviews for the week are now available on Black Nerd Problems for your enjoyment or to alleviate boredom during your work day. Unless you work at a sushi joint....then you should probably concentrate on not cooking your fingers on those hibachi grills. This week, I took a look at.....

Batman Eternal: Okay, so, I think last week's artwork went over a lot of people's head. And with a cash grab franchise like Batman, you probably don't want the visuals going over people's heads. Now, sometimes, it's okay for the writing to do so (I'm looking at you, Grant Morrison), but definitely not the pencils. Anyway, this week's episode (I call Eternal issues episodes because this is like my weekly Batman tv show) finally moved the "Jim Gordon, Murderer" story along with some delightful results. The point of any good "Trial of..." plotline should be for the prosecution to be so hardcore on your hero, it makes you squirm a little bit. The opening statement against Jim Gordon had absolutely no chill. The one thing I left out of my review is that maybe James Tynion tried just a little too hard to hammer home the point that Tim Drake is the detective among the sidekick family. We get it. He's Sherlock Holmes.

Batman: My editor said it better than I could in his description of my review when he said that Scott Snyder's Zero Year run is going to go down in the books as one of the greatest Batman stories ever told. Ever. Anyone else who does a Riddler story after Snyder has their work cut out for them. Months later, I still marvel at the fact that Edward Nygma hasn't been this deliciously diabolical in years. The best scene is seeing him face to face with Batman who has had to employ every one of his skills just to keep up with Nygma's scheming. I mean, he's been shot at, beaten and literally attacked by lions. I am on pins and needles waiting to see what else Snyder has in store for the finale.

All New Ghost Rider: Now, THAT is a delightfully wacky comic book. Felipe Smith makes no apologies for making an unbelievably ridiculous plotline. If professional wrestling had a James Cameron level budget for makeup and special effects, I suspect this is storyboard for what they would come up with.

Stuff I Read This Week 6/18/14

My reviews for the week are available for you internet adventuring/critiquing/trolling pleasure on Black Nerd Problems. Visit, comment, say hello, pass it around at your leisure. This week, I looked at....

Batman Eternal: I realized that my review for this book has basically become my weekly column for BNP. When you look closely enough, a weekly comic can be like a master class in everything that can go right AND wrong. As much as I love this book, it's been something of a balancing act. A lot of the reason what bring you to this book is Scott Snyder's basic plot. What's got to find some normality is the visuals. Don't get me wrong: Ian Bertram's artwork was fucking awesome and you can never go wrong when your primary influences are Frank Quitely and Robert Crumb. But last week's artwork was such a travesty, it's going to take at LEAST three weeks of strong visuals to make up for it. For the most part, the story/script is strong enough (even when it's cramming a lot of material into one issue) that it keeps things going. Even good television shows have episodes that aren't as strong as others, but don't take away from the overall quality of the series.

Uncanny X-Men: Okay, it's no secret that Brian Bendis is probably one of my favorite writers. His voice for a lot of characters is very distinct and entertaining. Having said that, he dropped the ball this week. The "big reveal" of the villain was an utter fail. First of all, it was as if they spun a game show wheel at the Marvel office and THAT'S what they came up with. Second of all, if that's who he came up with, there was so much potential for symbolism and dialog about the duality and Beast having to face the fact that he's the center of so much going awry in the X-family lately (being that he's the one who brought the Original X-Men from the past and now, for some reason, he doesn't know how to send them back). Instead, all this got swept under the rug in favor of a satisfying but rushed quick fix resolution.

Stuff I Read This Week 5/28/14

My comic review picks for Black Nerd Problems this week are up and available for your enjoyment (or dismay). Here's a few notes on the books I took a look at.

Ms. Marvel #4: It's really hard not to love this book. Marvel seems to be doing really well with their more "quiet-as-kept" titles like this and Daredevil and this seem to be taking it quite seriously. The only thing I'm really wondering about is whether or not Kamala Khan will (or should) be immersed fully into the Marvel superhero community. Sure, it's canon, but there are a handful of titles that have historically worked better secluded from large crossovers and team ups (Matt Fraction's Hawkeye, various Punisher titles, Daredevil). I'm curious as to what's going to happen if G. Willow Wilson decides to veer off into team-up territory.

Batman #30: Without repeating myself too much, it's really hard not to love Scott Snyder's take on Batman. I mean, this is easily one of the best books in comics. Snyder has such an engaging take on Batman, but another really commendable act is in the fact that he really gives plentiful amounts of glory to Jim Gordon. He's always eyeing his options, rarely gives up and takes as many death defying risks as Batman himself. If there were a cop as tough, determined and incorruptible as him in real life, he would hailed by the media as a borderline rockstar.

Batman Eternal #8: I really have spent the past eight issues or so eating my words about how most weekly books just don't work out as well as they could for DC. Batman Eternal, even in spite of some strange hiccups in artwork here and there, is a exercise in damn good superheroing. This particular issue stands out for me as the best looking of the series so far. I'm almost inclined to say that my review didn't stress nearly enough that Guillem March's pencils here are SICK. His "night in the life of" depiction of Batman in the first few pages was absolutely EPIC. I am, however, wondering how long Snyder long game is going to take in getting us to the fast forward we saw in the teaser issue of Batman a few months back.

Stuff I Read This Week 4/11/14

Batman Eternal #1: The last time DC launched a weekly book surrounded by this much hype, we got 52 which yielded somewhat mixed results. So, apparently, they got the bright idea to try this again with a property that, at this point, can't lose (sales wise). Yes, that's right, folks. We have yet ANOTHER Batman book on our hands. Passing a weekly book on through the hands of various creative teams is always a dicey yet audacious venture. However, if the opening issue is any evidence of what we're going to see each week, the future looks promising. From the very first page which features a beautifully rendered yet strange portrait of Batman and his beloved Gotham, Scott Snyder and James Tynion IV want us to know they're swinging for the fences here.

This book seeks to not only highlight the Caped Crusader, but the dynamic he has with the city he's sworn to protect, building a large sandbox universe almost akin to that seen in the Arkham video game series. With this in mind, the inaugural issue placed the spotlight on the Gotham City Police, no doubt riding the high of the recently announced Gotham television series currently in development. Snyder and Tynion give us a yin/yang approach through the primary players in this issue. We are first introduced to the obligatory new kid on the block, Jason Bard, a somewhat innocent transferred from Detroit to GCPD's Major Crimes division. If the idea here is to give us an outsider's sense of the gritty streets, this character seems well suited for the task thus far. On the other side of the coin, we are reintroduced to the blatantly crooked Major Forbes who slightly detracts from the tone of the book by being so obviously dickish, working to undermine Commissioner Gordon. He might as well twirl a mustache and "Bwahaha" right there in the panel. One of these characters forces the other into a very compromising position that sets the stage for the first story arc. Jason Fabok's art style is incredible and perfect for this book. One of the truly noteworthy accomplishments he achieves here is making Jim Gordon look like every bit the superhero Batman is. The panel where they run after a foe side by side as if they've done this for years (because they have) is awe inspiring.

Bottom Line: No, we DON'T need another Batman book, but if we have to have one, GODDAMN I'm glad it's this one. 9 out of 10.

Iron Fist The Living Weapon #1: You know what's been missing from Marvel NOW? A good kung-fu comic. Specifically, an Iron Fist comic. Once the announcement went out that Marvel entered into a deal with Netflix to produce an original series for the former Hero for Hire, we knew it was a matter of time before the Powers-That-Be bestowed us with more martial arts awesomeness. 

It opens up strong enough, but I'll confess it's a little difficult to resolve this version of Danny Rand with the lighthearted adventurer we've come to know from the past ten years or so. Kaare Andrews gives us some insight into a more sullen, somewhat broken shadow of a familiar hero who doesn't seem to like the things life is showing him. Feeling somewhat apart from his fellow man, he seems to crave aggression and violence rather than normal human connections. This serves as an interesting backdrop to what's historically been a really fun character. There's plenty to potential for us to see an example of what years and years of conflict can do to a man. Normally, this would feel dull but Andrews keeps it engaging. Aside from that, the narrative itself doesn't do anything different from what we've seen before. However, in this case, that isn't such a bad thing. The visual nuances to this book are another strong selling point. Andrews approaches this with all the visceral yet old school sensibilities of a Shaw Brothers film if Quentin Tarentino had dosed it with LSD. Every page seems to be drawn tailor made to convey the particular tone of that particular part of the narrative. This is definitely how kung fu fantasy should be done.

Bottom Line: Definitely one of the best, fresh feeling Marvel books to drop this month. 8.5 out of 10

The Goddamn Batman Problem.....

So, I was catching up on New 52 Batman recently. As hard as I am on the reboot material coming out of DC for the past couple of years, I actually really enjoy Scott Snyder's work on Batman. He really has a penchant for Snyder-ising a lot of well-known aspects of the Bat-mythos and making them feel undiscovered. His "Court of Owls" story arc was particularly engaging while still exciting and fast paced. But there was one particular plot point that bothered me, though.

In his fight to defeat the Court of Owls conspiracy threatening to envelop Gotham from the inside, Batman had to exploit the weakness of their nigh-indestructable "talon" assassin agents (imagine ninjas who dress like owls) which has to do with extreme cold. Obviously, this led to the Bat-family having a brief run in with Mr. Freeze. While his driving motivation is still his beloved icicle of a wife, Nora, this retconned version of Victor Fries has actually never met Nora and is just a lonely man who became obsessed with her during his early days of researching cryogenics. Batman recounts this story to exploit as a weakness and, of course, beat Freeze. It was a decent, well-written story, but it also sheds light on my biggest problem with contemporary Batman.

The thing about Batman villains is a lot of the really good ones tend to have a sort of driving force that gives the reader a way to connect and, sometimes, sympathize with them. Granted, this isn't exclusively Batman territory, but Mister Freeze was definitely a character who, over the years, has been particularly popular because of his understandable motivations. Despite being released as a straight to video animated feature (probably because the "Batman and Robin" movie still had a stink on it so strong, it may have been mistaken for actual chemical warfare), SubZero was a very well received movie essentially about Supervillain John Q, a guy trying to save someone he loved and was willing to be an asshole to do it.

This was interesting, but not only because it adds depth to the bad guy. Ideally, it adds some layers to the good guy. Batman actually had to understand someone's motives outside of "because I'm an asshole, that's why." More often than not, during the time of "The Animated Series," Batman went out of his way to still try to save his foes when outside variables seemed to fall apart. By the time he met Animated Series Superman, this gave them something to have in common despite varying methods of getting the job done.

The whole point of the World's Greatest Detective is that he's smart and physically capable, but he's still just a man and, in his own way, serves as not only Gotham's protector, but its conscience as well. The Batman Problem comes when you do things like reduce Mister Freeze, a villain with depth, to a delusional dickhead who never had hugs as a kid just so Batman can look tougher and "above it all" when he beats his ass. In fact, if you look closely, he spends a lot more time outsmarting and looking tough in front of his own Justice League teammates than he does the bad guys You can even see it in the Dark Knight trilogy (although I loved those movies) where Batman's code about not killing holds up....until he kills someone (Ra's Al Ghul, Two Face, Talia). Even though it's awesome at times, the Problem is that Batman has gone from a badass Sherlock Holmes analog with a roguish attitude to the New Chuck Norris.


I would also like to point out that the same nerds who think Batman is awesome because he's seemingly all powerful, unbeatable and omniscient are the same nerds who chastise Superman for being seemingly all powerful, unbeatable and omniscient (in other words, Superman haters, your argument is invalid).

I could throw a digital rock out into the internet and hit millions of memes that all pretty much reduce Batman to Punch'emInTheFuckingFace Man. I was watching a commercial promoting the Arkham Origins video game and it was comprised primarily of Bruce Wayne growing up 1). scowling and 2). beating the unholy shit out of people until he became Batman scowling and beating the unholy shit out of people.

Don't get me wrong....it makes for some really fun action more often than not, but it also cheapens a character capable of so much more which is evident, by the way, in Long Halloween and Year One. Honestly, this is why I'm actually very excited about Superman's upcoming team-up with the Caped Crusader in Man of Steel 2: Superhero Boogaloo. This is a chance for one of Batman's peers (who is pretty much the epitome of superhero morality) to show him something about moral discernment, something we didn't see much of in the Dark Knight movies because Batman had to be portrayed as knowing better than everyone else even though he really didn't (seriously....WHY THE FUCK DID HE TAKE THE BLAME FOR COLD BLOODED MURDER????....They could have easily blamed all that shit on the Joker....I mean, they're lying either way, so.....).

Oh, and by the way.....I'm completely fine with Ben Affleck Batman. Fight among yourselves, internet.

Stuff I Read This Week Episode 33 or I'd Rather Be Trapped Underwater With Evil Mermaids Than Kris Jenner

Harley Quinn #0: Harley Quinn has enjoyed a reasonable amount of time in the spotlight since the "New 52" reboot even if the titles she's featured in have had somewhat mixed reviews. It was only a matter of time before DC took a crack at a solo title. This was a tough book to review because, honestly, at first read, you're not entirely sure what kind of book it's supposed to be. Commonly a zero issue for any book serves as either a prequel for the first story arc or one shot primer to give you a taste of what to expect from a series as far as tone and art. Jimmy Palmotti and Amanda Conner take a slightly different tact.

By "slightly different tact", I mean, they seemed to make the Clown Princess of Crime....into Deadpool. For the most part Harley spends most of her time breaking the fourth wall interacting with the writers in a daydream about what it would be like to have her own comic book. She travels from one page to the next auditioning a Who's Who of artists to see whose style would best suit her. I found a few of the jokes funny but mainly because I'm familiar with most of the artists. The overabundance of inside jokes doesn't make this terribly accessible for incoming readers and the uninitiated. Despite this, it still makes for a mainly entertaining farce.

The artwork, given that it's a pretty star studded cast working on each page is pretty "alphabet soup" but mostly awesome. My particular favorites are Dan Panosian and Charlie Adlard. I was really looking forward to Jim Lee's page but that ended up being a bit of a bubble burst since he just rehashed a page from Hush. Also included is a page from fan contest winner Jeremy Roberts. Although "Draw Harley Quinn killing herself" contest was easily one of DC's dumbest ideas all year, Roberts can draw his ass off. I'd be very excited to see him on this book on a regular basis. Still, Chad Hardin, who illustrates the final page, does a pretty good job of capturing Harley's brand of crazy and I'll be looking forward to seeing what he has to offer.

Bottom Line: Not much plot but it's still fun and well rendered enough that it's a fun little primer for the series. 7.5 out of 10.



The Wake #5: Well, we've reached the halfway mark of what could quite possibly be the "holy shit" survival horror series of the year and it has been quite a story thus far. Quiet as kept, this has been one of the most consistently entertaining and good looking books in the business right now. Scott Snyder's taut tale of Dr. Lee Archer's crew and their fight to survive evil mermaid creatures at the bottom of the ocean has been an utterly compelling thrill ride that EVERYONE should be reading. Having said that, with this issue, Snyder wants you to know that the story begins now. Did you hear what I just said? A claustrophobic, horrifying tale about evil mermaids in the darkest parts of the sea....and Snyder is just getting started?

This issue deals largely with the revelation of what these monsters are, what they want and Dr. Archer's connection to them. The action beats are really well thought out and make for pretty good adventuring, but Snyder is at his best, as usual, during the claustrophobic moments when you feel trapped in dark corners with these poor bastards down below. It's almost as scary as being Kris and Bruce Jenner being trapped with each other's ever changing faces, not knowing what they're going to wake up to the next morning. Almost. Of course, Snyder can't take all the credit for the creepiest part of this book. There's also Sean Murphy's pencils, which capture some utterly maudlin moments like one character alone in the darkness with nothing but the light from a video screen.

Bottom Line: If you're not reading this book already, start. Start now. Immediately. Stop reading this blog, turn off the television, get dressed, tell your girlfriend you'll be right back and go get the past five issues of The Wake. Do it. Do it now. It's your homework assignment. It's your one job right now. Seriously. 9.5 out of 10.

Stuff I Read This Week Episode 32 or I Wonder If Alfred Got in On Obamacare....

Why do they look like contestants on
that old arcade game Smash TV?

All New X-Men #18: One of the prevailing subplots of Avengers Vs. X-Men was that the Avengers hadn't been around much while the mutant community was going through pretty dire straits facing extinction. Cyclops told Captain America that he always felt the X-Men were treated as the Avengers' redheaded stepchildren. It sort of seems like this is how Marvel treats them as well. I mean, let's face it....the X-Universe hasn't had a good crossover event since A vs. X and even that was touch and go for a minute there. Marvel doesn't know how to create constructive conflict between heroes without making one party into the one dimensional douchebag villain like the Tony Stark in Civil War. Hell, do what Toronto Mayor Rob Ford does and blame the media and the police. It would shake things up, at least. Battle of the Atom was decent but also underwhelming and anti-climatic in its own way, basically summing up what we already knew: There will always be humans who make life suck for mutants and it's going to make some mutants into bitter old mutants one day.

Fortunately, it gave us some decent fallout consequences. Brian Michael Bendis picks up the pieces left behind from all of the event's time travel shenanigans in the latest installment of All New X-Men. The issue deals mainly with Kitty Pryde and the "Original" team's transition in going to live at the New Xavier School with Cyclops and the Asshole Squad. Bendis does very well handling "in between" issues like this where some characters are put in a room with someone they wouldn't normally interact with under normal circumstances. Kitty and Magik's reunion is hilarious and somewhat touching if you know the history both characters share. Young Jean Grey's scene with the Stepford Cuckoos is priceless. Bendis has made the Once and Future Phoenix an interesting character again which is a feat I didn't think would ever be possible. Most writers had a tendency to deal with Jean in a very "time bomb" fashion which is cool but predictable. You know it's coming so it loses its "Holy Shit" factor. Bendis takes time to deal with her aggravation as a person and how that can spill over into her life as a blossoming mutant hero who keeps being told that she's headed for great and terrifying things.

Stuart Immonen's artwork is a welcome mainstay to the book's status quo. His love for expressing shift in tone through simple changes in shading is in rare form during a couple of pages of an exchange between Magneto and Young Beast. I also personally like how he draws Cyclops as opposed to the artsy version we've been getting in Uncanny X-Men where he looks less heroic and more like a slim Seth Rogen.

Bottom Line: A good book following up another lackluster X-event. 8 out of 10



Batman #25: It's hard to deny Scott Snyder has been winning with Zero Year, a "New 52" look at the beginning of the Caped Crusader. We're seeing a swashbuckler side of Batman we don't get to see very often that almost literally laughs in the face of danger, tells villain's they're and flies by the seat of his pants at moments. I would never have expected to hear Batman tell a bad guy he's "so full of shit." This issue mainly takes place during the aftermath of a massive blackout compliments of the Riddler.

However this installment in particular doesn't deal much with Edward Nygma. The central villain this time out is the (let me emphasize this) FUCKING CREEPY Dr. Death, whose horror themed killing spree is every bit as unsettling as his...well...face. Seriously, these are a couple of the eeriest looking crime scenes I've seen in a Batman book in some time. Snyder handles the detective stuff well without getting bogged down in it and also keeping the more action oriented readers engaged. After all.... Sherlock Holmes + swashbuckling = Batman. This series has been really good for tender moments between Bruce and Alfred. While Batman is having the time of his life trying out new gadgets and dodging the cops with ease, you can visibly see instances when Alfred is thinking "Goddamnit, what did I sign up for?"

The hues implemented in the artwork are simply amazing. It's nice to see a Batman book that can maintain a dark vibe while still not being afraid of splashing some color in here and there. Greg Capullo has a flair for the macabre and loves making his reader a little uncomfortable as is evident in Dr. Death's full reveal at the end. Also, his Batmobile design brings a wonderfully old school adventure feel to the beginning of the issue that made me laugh of sort delightful laugh that makes people think something might really be wrong with you in public.

Bottom Line: Scott Snyder can't lose. He's got Batman down almost to a science. 9 out of 10.

Stuff I Read This Week Episode 28 or Maybe DC Will Give Kanye and Kim A Comic.....

Batman #24: As much as I disliked the idea of yet another origin story for Batman (as if there haven't been plenty already), Scott Snyder has managed to breathe new life into the Dark Knight's beginnings, giving us a much different Bruce Wayne than we're used to. Over the years, we've grown used to a young man who wasn't terribly youthful in the wake of his parents' death. Zero Year gives us an brash, impulsive hero who is far less premeditated than the once we've come to know. What Daniel Craig and Casino Royale did for the James Bond mythos is what Snyder has done for Batman here.

This issue (mostly) wraps up the threads of the first story arc that has been mainly dedicated to Batman's one man war against the Red Hood Gang. Some reviewers haven't liked Red Hood One as an opening foil for young Batman, but I think he's created the perfect dichotomy for the kind of reimagined origins Snyder wants to convey. A villain who seems to have the entire city under control through merciless resolve and meticulous plotting is the perfect challenge for a young, headstrong vigilante fighting like he has nothing to lose. At the same time, we also see Bruce learning the importance of creating a larger than life legend around his alter ego, something for cowardly and superstitious criminals to remember in the years to come.

Greg Capullo's pencils and Danny Miki's inking do not disappoint. Here we see a Gotham that resembles a flourishing city built on old money that hasn't quite had the chance to descend into madness just yet. The action scenes do a masterful job of lending themselves to the beginnings of a character creating a myth around himself. In the final ten pages, we also see a changing of the artistic guard with Rafael Albuquerque taking the helm on pencils, delivering a drastic but logical visual shift. The eerie, shady tones suit the change in narrative since we see a Gotham whose innocence is lost. In the birth of the Batman legend and the revelation of the necessity for Batman, there's no turning back for the people of the city. It's still a bit of a mystery what the end game of Zero Year is, but if we get more of what we've gotten so far, I'm in.

Bottom Line: A kinetic, exciting finish to an immensely fun story arc. 9 out of 10.

Infinity #4: We're past the halfway point of Marvel's big crossover and here in the fourth issue (of six), we finally see a turning point of sorts for our heroes. After four issues of the Avengers, the Galactic Council and Black Bolt barely holding their own against the seemingly insurmountable Builders and the mad titan Thanos, surviving through Trojan Horse scenarios and retreats, it's a welcome change of pace to see them (two characters in particular) making definitive stands, drawing lines in the proverbial sand in the fight for Earth. We also finally get a brief insight into the motivations behind the Builders' campaign through the universe. It's not quite as satisfying as what we've come to expect from Jonathan Hickman, but it serves as a decent enough explanation to keep us reading until their goals (I'm assuming) unify with those of Thanos. Also, without spoiling anything for you, this week in awesome.....Thor. I'm just going to leave that there. This issue does a much better job in offering a more comprehensive chapter that doesn't seem to need tie-ins as a supplement. HOWEVER, as I've said before, if you're not reading the corresponding issues of Avengers and New Avengers, you are missing out on some quality goddamned superheroing. After the revealed fallout of Black Bolt's actions in issue three, it's going to be interesting to see a). where New Avengers goes from here and b). the ramifications throughout the Marvel Universe as a whole.

The artwork here is still as strong as it's been throughout the series. Dustin Weaver and Jerome Opena are still delivering quality work on their respective fronts (Opena does the scenes in space while Weaver handles those that take place on Earth). Although the scenes in the hidden Inhuman city are gorgeous, the real standout treat here is how Opena depicts Thor's defining moment so far in the event. If your jaw isn't on the floor when you see one of the final pages, you don't love comics.

Bottom Line: The respective threats on Earth and in space shouldn't feel so divorced this late in the game, but still....Jonathan Goddamn Hickman strikes again. 8.5 out of 10

Superman/Wonder Woman #1: Superman and Wonder Woman being a power couple in the DC Universe is one of the most half-assed, unnecessary publicity stunts DC has ever pulled. And considering the fact that they've completely rebooted their universe at least three times now, that's saying something. There's no real point because, from what I can tell, NOBODY cares. I dare you to name three people you know that bought the issue of Justice League specifically because they heard the news that these two heroes were going to hook up. DC has gone from assuming that all of their readers are perverted 40 year old men to assuming that they're all tweens who read the Vampire Diaries.

So, of course, in the fallout of their biggest non-event, they have to squeeze a spinoff out of it the way television does everytime a Kardashian does something (or someone) else nobody cares about. Sure, there's a handful of action involving a villain that hasn't done anything of real mention since the 90s, but you have to first sit through Wonder Woman having girl talk about what a wet blanket Superman is and Clark Kent playing Bloggerman. Then, there's Clark and Diana having a date. The prevailing problem here is obvious. There is NO CHEMISTRY between these two to speak of. Their date even feels like two celebrities having lunch together as a publicity stunt very much like Kim Kardashian's month long marriage. Charles Soule is great with character development and building the contrasts between the two of them, but the whole thing is so clearly a force-fed stunt for visibility, Ryan Seacrest may as well be standing off in the distance on a red carpet asking them who they're wearing.

On the plus side, artist Tony Daniel's work looks fantastic. With the sort of costume he wears, the color palette and the size of him, Superman tends to dominate the panels they share, but Daniel draws a damn good looking Wonder Woman who occupies the happy medium between warrior and royalty. He manages to make her look like Superman's equal while still maintaining a very feminine look for her. My main complaint is the costume. For the most part, it looks really good, but why is she in HEELS again??? With the fighting she does in this issue, it just feels awkward and out of place.

Bottom Line: Despite being a good looking book, it doesn't do a very good job in dwarfing how unnecessary this hookup and, ultimately, this title actually are. 6 out of 10.

Stuff I Read This Week Episode 21 or Ridley Scott Should Buy Us All Comics As An Apology For Prometheus....

The Wake #3: This is quickly becoming one of my favorite books to pick up because it does sci-fi horror better than a lot of sci fi horror films (I'm looking at you, Prometheus AKA The Dumbest Scientists in the Universe). With the right writer, it's pretty hard to fuck up an "scientists trapped underwater with a killer sea creature" concept. There are ten issues in this series, it's issue three and we've already entered the "Holy Shit" phase of the story.

The evil-mermaid-sea monster-thing has gotten loose to the surprise of no one and has Dr. Lee Archer and the rest of her crew on the run. The strongest aspect of this book gets much stronger as the spotlight is placed heavily on the claustrophobic tension of this quickly escalating situation, reminiscent of Alien (as I mentioned in the first issue's review). Archer's survival meets sympathy attitude makes for an enjoyable female lead, but the MVP award for this issue has to go to the prize hunter, Meeks. Anyone who was a fan of Robert Shaw's character in Jaws will get a kick out of Meeks' "fuck yeah" moment here. There's a little more exposition in this issue than you would normally want out of a story like this, but yet again, Scott Snyder manages to keep the book moving while maintaining tension. Sean Murphy's attention to detail only gets better as the series goes on. Mix that with Matt Hollingsworth's coloring and you have one of the most consistently gorgeous books running right now. Every moment on most panel turns you into an asshole movie goer, virtually screaming at every page, "Oh my God...GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE!!!!"

Bottom Line: This book is going from good to great in no time at all. Shit is getting creepy really quick. This is what you should be setting your calendar for each month. 9.5 out of 10

Guardians of the Galaxy #5: Okay, in a way, this book has double duty. In addition to the pressure for it not to suck because it's going to be a movie pretty soon, it also has to successfully shove Angela, Spawn's angel girlfriend (or whatever) down our throats. Fortunately, it has succeeded on both counts so far.

Since they've been in space doing space shit, The Guardians don't know that time and space have become slightly unglued because people on Earth keep fucking with it and there's no such thing as Doctor Who in Marvel continuity. Basically, this issue sees our heroes catching up with the major events going on in the rest of the universe which is a strength and a weakness. If you didn't read Age of Ultron (which you really shouldn't unless you're trapped in line at the DMV), you're not going to have any idea why any of this is happening. Brian Bendis actually wrote Age of Ultron and I'm convinced that HE doesn't even know what happened. Nonetheless, he seems to have plenty of fun with his characters leading up to the confrontation advertised on the cover which, by the way, was satisfying enough. The addition of Iron Man to the team has been a welcome one thus far. It was a good idea to have a more familiar mainstream hero be our guide through the rules and pitfalls of Marvel's galactic continuity, someone we can discover (or for more seasoned readers, rediscover) comic book outer space with. Bendis has really succeeded in giving these characters distinctive voices that manage to make you laugh and make you slightly uncomfortable at times as good characters should while still driving the plot forward this time around. Sara Pichelli's artwork serves its purpose well enough, but I really wish she wouldn't leave the backgrounds so lifeless during close-ups. It makes some of the more serious moments a bit cartoonish like something I would expect from Deadpool.

Bottom Line: Even if you're not up to date on current events in the Marvel U, this is a good book in a good series serving as a crash course for the developing movie event. 8 out of 10.

Uncanny X-Men #9: Well, I'm really glad this book has picked up speed again. The whole "X-Men vs Hell" story had me a little worried, but Bendis has managed to get back to what readers seems to like about this title: Outlaw X-Men versus S.H.I.E.L.D. Continuing where we left off last issue, we're reintroduced to long time X-Man and former disco performer (No, I'm not kidding), Dazzler working for Maria Hill and being a lot less perky than the heroine we're used to. I'm interested to see whether or not Brian Bendis will elaborate on what's happened since we last saw her that would bring her to the government's doorstep for a makeover into, as Cyclops called her, the "Uncle Tom of mutants." She doesn't seem to be a completely treacherous character here, but considering her treatment of underage detainees, it's easy to see where both sides are coming from. Bendis does what Bendis does best here: characterization. Scott Summers' young recruits find a little more of an identity in this book. We especially get a nice "coming of age" moment here with the Stepford Sisters discovering togetherness in their budding individualities. It's very refreshing to have such strong growth in new characters, offering endearing, lighthearted moments while maintaining this book's status as the "Dark Avengers" of the X-Universe. Though Chris Bachalo's style took some getting used to for me with this title, his designs are really interesting and his willingness to use all of the space is nice. However, the panels that deal with a larger cast of characters can feel cluttered and distracting at times. Still, this is an X-title that has had some bumps but is really coming around.

Bottom Line: I expected just a little more from Bachalo's artwork, but it's still looks good enough, combined with the strong "this is who we are" focus on this installment, to make the whole thing work. 8 out of 10.