Anatomy of a Comic: So You Wanna Write A Shitty Crossover Event.... Part 2

Well, Original Sin wrapped up last week and I was sure bringing this event to a close would iron out the overt problems throughout the plot. If anything, it seemed to either a). create new problems or b). worsen the old ones. Mike Deodato is still The Thing This Book Has Going For It, but other than that, it was basically a hot mess.

He's got the last Pumpkin Spice scone! Rush him!

Once again, starting with the cover.....

I cannot stress this enough, but EVERY aspect of the cover should be indicative of what's happening in the comic especially when it's as "OhMyGodThisIsEpic" as Marvel would have you believe it is. Having said that, of the seven notable Marvel characters on this cover, only three of them are actually found in this book. No Captain Marvel, No Daredevil, No Iron Fist, No Mister Fantastic. You can't even say it's an huge exaggeration of something happening in the comic. It's just plain lying. One good example of a well done, symbolic cover (even though I got some shit from a few of you guys for using this example last time) is Identity Crisis.

Here you've got the Justice League which, at this time in the DC universe, was always characterized very much as a family. Everything about this picture conveys a very familial vibe. The broken picture is obviously representing the tragedies and breaches of trust that leave this family broken and divided.

Or if you want to make the comparison against another Marvel event, take Civil War.

Aside from the time honored trope of defeated heroes sprawled across a mount of rubble, it doesn't get much more literal than this. Captain America
and Iron Man, two generals on opposite ends of a major conflict, finally come head to head and beat the unholy hell out of one another. Simple. No hyperbole necessary.

But going back to the Original Sin cover, it says across the bottom "The Final Judgment." What the fuck does that mean? Anyone? Are the Watchers pointing down supposed to be the judges in this case? The Watchers aren't judges. They're Watchers....who just watch stuff. Their whole job description is the antithesis of judging. So, seriously....who's being judged and how? I shouldn't be asking MORE questions going into an event's finale.

And, holy shit, did this book ever leave the audience asking questions. For example....

"Take him apart. So I may drink his blood and consume his knowledge, one bite at a time."

Umm....what? This was the whole problem with Dr. Midas as a villain. Everything was so vague and unexplained. What occurred in this entire series that would lead him to believe that eating a corpse would make him all powerful?

Why have the Watcher's eyes suddenly turned murderous? Does this mean the Watcher's body parts can work independently of one another after he's dead? Is the Watcher a Castlevania villain? What the fucking fuck?

Now, it's a rarity that I would actively shit on the usually immaculate artwork of Mike Deodato, but he screwed the pooch a couple of times here. First of all, this is Black Panther, Dr. Strange and the rest of the heroes who teamed up (for some reason) busting in to fight...umm....someone.

Now, here's Black Panther and Dr. Strange at the end of the book in full outer space gear. Huh?

Also, if you look closely, here's Thor with his hammer firmly in hand. But wait a minute....in issue 7, Nick Fury whispered something to Thor that made him suddenly unworthy to hold the hammer. Now, he's totally holding the hammer.

And now later as the heroes are all leaving, Thor is left back where he was in the last issue trying to pick his hammer up. Shenanigans.

And when exactly did it get decided that Bucky was the new "Man on the Wall"? Did Fury choose him? When did he choose him exactly? The last thing he ever said to Bucky was "Get everyone back." You can't even dismiss that as saying it was unspoken tough guy talk and "he just knew."

Or this. So, Dr. Midas' severed hand turned the snake to gold when he bit it, but not the Exterminatrix (man, villains are really exhausting the shit out of the Big Book of Bad Guy Names) when she stole it? What?

Granted, I'm not saying there shouldn't be room to leave elements as "implied" in a story. But in an event like this where much of your story is extremely contained and doesn't need tie-ins to explain every fringe element (which is something that Marvel has been really good about in recent years)....it's okay to hold your reader's hand just a little bit. And inevitably, the fallacies here will laid at another writer's doorstep to explain how exactly Bucky became The Man on the Wall or who this new Watcher (I'm guessing that's who the glowing old man at the end is supposed to be) is. DC was really bad about this shit last year with Trinity War turning into a promo that basically forced you to buy Justice League and Forever Evil (which, to be fair, was pretty good) just to understand what happened in a 6 or 7 issue miniseries. 

Making someone interested enough in your characters to buy more comics is what a good comic should do. Insisting upon your reader buying comics to properly understand the vague collision of words and images that took place in another comic borderlines on extortion.

Anatomy of a Comic: So You Wanna Write a Shitty Crossover Event.....

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

Okay, so usually, if it comes down to the Big Two, I commonly prefer Marvel crossover events to DC's. Usually, even when they're not great, they're fun reads for the moment (absolutely excluding Age of Ultron). Original Sin is trying, but it's not succeeding. In fact, I will go as far as saying that it is indeed failing. Mike Deodato's artwork is probably the one prevailing awesome is this series, but as far as plot and marketing, I don't understand what this book is going for. It's been a very schizophrenic title thus far. Sometimes, it's a murder mystery....and then it's 28 pages of characters not liking each other....then it's The Secret History of the Secret History of Nick Fury. There's one more issue to go and I still don't understand the point of this book.

-The first problem with this week's issue? The cover:

Daredevil is on this cover....but Daredevil is NOT IN THIS BOOK! He's really not even very involved in the Original Sin event at all with the exception of the big scene where everyone's secrets get revealed or something. It's not even as if it's some kind of quirky "Deadpool Is On Every Cover This Month Because It's Quirky But It's Really Obnoxious" kind of thing. He's just on the cover....for some reason. In a crossover event, every single aspect of the cover (or, really any comic) should be symbolic of or selling you on something taking place IN the book.

-This issue spent a lot of time in flashbacks to tell us that The Orb, Exterminatrix and Dr. Midas are the bad guys in this book. This would be awesome....if we hadn't already known they were the bad guys in this book since the second issue. In fact, was their being in this book at all wasn't very exciting. I mean, Dr. Midas turning things to gold was kinda cool but other than that, these are NOT memorable characters by any stretch of the imagination. In a crossover title, even a shitty character should stick with you. With the right writer, even a stopped clock can be right twice a day. Take DC's Identity Crisis, for example.....

Dr. Light is, for the most part, a shitty villain (I can't possibly be the only person who thinks of Mega Man when I hear his name) and was largely a plot device to facilitate this faction of the Justice League crossing the line in dealing with him, but he's still memorable. He was set up properly without having to involve him in a tie-in somewhere else. His attack on Sue Dibny didn't exactly feel forced (though, to this day, I don't agree it should have gone that far). This is how you create a memorable moment for a bad guy in a big event even when your bad guy sucks.

-So, this big fight with Nick Fury....Aside from Thor, Falcon and Iron Man, should the Avengers be able to maneuver so well in zero gravity?

-Has anyone else noticed that Moon Knight isn't very....Moon Knight-ish? Don't get me wrong. I understand that big companies like Marvel aren't always some well oiled machine between creative talent so, yeah, I get that one hand doesn't usually know what the other hand's doing. But when you have such a memorable incarnation of Moon Knight as the one Warren Ellis has left us with (Brian Wood's got a hell of a challenge following him up), you usually want to incorporate at least SOME pieces of that version in a high profile crossover title.

Come on. Look at this boss!!!

Imagine this guy, Mr. Knight standing in the presence of all these heroes in an all while business suit taking cues from the vengeance god Khonshu (think Norman Osborn in Dark Avengers hearing "the Goblin"). Now, that would make for an interesting addition to this mix of this unlikely (if you don't consider that a lot of either have a movie or are going to have one) cast of characters. Speaking of which....

-This makes (correct me if I'm wrong) the fourth issue where at least half of this large cast is just standing around in a room not liking each other and not understanding what's going on although, in their defense, neither do I. You could have possibly gotten away with this when it was Nick Fury explaining that he's a Secret Guy Whose Secret Is That He Has Secrets, but come on. I mean, you've got guys like the world's best mass murderer (Punisher), space renegades (Gamora and Rocket Raccoon), a super spy type (Winter Soldier) and a guy whose specialty is shrinking small enough to remain out of sight. No way would they have a big fight with Nick Fury robots, be seen with Nick Fury who, for right now, looks like The Bad Guy, not help the Avengers.....and just stay at the scene of the fight, talking.

In a crossover event with a cast this big that affects the rest of your universe, it's okay to move around a little bit. DC's 52 was a good exercise in this point. Granted, I acknowledge that they had a LOT more issues to execute this with, but every aspect of the ongoing story had time to breathe and get its proper development. Much like Game of Thrones, the story was never in a hurry to get back to one thing or the other.

-Did Nick Fury say "goodbye" to Captain America and fly away with the Watcher's eyes just to go to the moonbase....which is basically a few miles from the goddamned space station? Where he knocked Thor (who, despite not having his hammer, is still really strong and pissed off) and the Hulk to? What the fucking fuck?

-It's the 7th issue in an 8 issue series and I'm still not sure what the point of any of this is. In a crossover event, your purpose should be laid out clearly early on. Hell, it should be the reason we pick up the first issue. Civil War...superheroes fighting over the morality of government oversight in superheroism. Secret Invasion....nobody trusts anyone during an alien invasion. Siege....deposing a villain who wants to be a dictator. Original Sin....umm....ummm.....

Of course, the point of this could very well also just stop at "Because It's Crossover Event Season" too. That's a possibility.

Because You Knew A Captain America Review Was Coming....

Coming off of the first movie's magnificent execution by Joe Johnston and "pretty damn good" reception by audiences (no doubt overshadowed just a bit by Iron Man's omega level douchebaggery and Thor's pecs), I was curious as to how Joe and Anthony Russo would play the sequel to Captain America: The First Avenger. Would they mimic Johnston's style of paying homage to Old Republic serials? Would they give us a semi noir-ish espionage romp as the comics have been known to dabble in throughout recent years (especially when the movie's titular character is involved)? Or would they go the easy route and capitalize off his success in the Avengers, letting the star spangled hero smack down larger than life, ultra powerful threats to world in a standard superhero romp? The result, in its way, was the best of all worlds.

To call this movie a rollercoaster ride would be like referring to a bullet train as a taxicab. Captain America: The Winter Soldier took a route that, while safe in its own way, was definitely the most enjoyable for comic fans and civilians alike. Though it does indeed have it's spy elements, it's an action spy film that is more Bourne Identity (on steroids) than Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. It makes every effort to be as accessible as possible without slowing down viewers acquainted with the previous film as well as the comics they descend from. As you're watching, no matter how you end up feeling about what you see, you find yourself admitting that, if nothing else, Marvel's Cinematic Universe seems to take a hardcore attitude of "These movies can't afford to a). suck or b). alienate outsiders anymore." Where the first movie asked, "How Does A Weak But Noble Man Become Strong and Save the World?", Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely, who helmed the screenplay, take the next logical step and ask, "How Can I Be Captain America When America (the powers-that-be, anyway) Sometimes Sucks?"

We find our Cap (Chris Evans) adjusting to life in modern day America, dealing with his personal life by almost completely foregoing having one. The only real personal time he ever seems to really enjoy is (literally) running laps around veteran/PTSD counselor Sam Wilson (Anthony Mackie) and his pre-mission exchanges where the Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) suggests potential dates in an attempt to get him laid. Meanwhile, Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) tries to enlighten Cap on the new way of the world, how things aren't always as black and white as recruitment posters of old would have one believe and how "the good old days" weren't as good or simple as he likes to believe they were.

Evans has got this "gee whiz", wide eyed aspect of the hero down to a science, delivering as a wholesome man of conviction without ever coming off like a preachy, sanctimonious asshole. In every scene, we really feel for the guy who, while never wavering in his duty to serve and protect, still wonders whether he's the symbol that our America needs or even wants. Jackson's Fury is so thoroughly bathed in cool even when he's not in control or when he's shot all to Hell, I'm starting to think that Jackson, with the effortless way he plays him, sees this as his spirit animal, the summation of every badass, smart mouthed action junkie fantasy he's EVER wanted to live out. He has fun with it and that shows beautifully on screen. Also, while we're on the topic of "old school heavyweights having fun with their roles", Robert Redford's pompous, smug S.H.I.E.L.D. top dog, Alexander Pierce is so delightfully evil and brooding while maintaining a half-smiling Michael Scott quality at all times.

Arguably, this movie's greatest strength is that even with all the action and obstacles Captain America is given to blitzkrieg through like the all-American quarterback he comes off as, the supporting cast never feels like a lineup of sidekicks. They're partners who take point, hold their own, come through in clutch moments and save his ass every bit as much as he does for them. I mean, the WHOLE A-squad gives the bad guys more work than a temp agency. This is no more evident than in a scene where Fury, suspected of treason, evades and assaults (interchangeably) a strike team for a solid ten minutes before his run-in with the dreaded Winter Soldier (Sebastian Stan), who looks like he was ripped right out of a page in the comics and pasted on the goddamned screen.

And the fans will not be left wanting with this one. It features so many easter eggs, familiar faces, name drops and tie-ins to previous Marvel films as well as the much debated primetime series "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.", the true nerds and continuity whores are likely already pre-ordering their dvd copies so they can spend plenty of time cherry picking for things they missed in the theater.

Bottom Line: This might just be the best movie the Marvel Cineverse has cranked out yet, photo-finishing next to The Avengers and Iron Man (in that order). 9.5 out of 10.

The Art of Snapping or Maybe Cyclops WAS Right.....

I'm apologizing in advance because I have to talk about Ghostbusters II for a second. In Ghostbusters II, Bill Murray and company had to fight a demonic overlord trapped in a painting who was dumping slime into the sewers that turned all of New York into assholes who are awful to each other for no reason (though I'm still not sure how he did that from inside of a painting). Basically, he meant to take over the world by turning NYC in the center of all evil. In other words, Dallas. Watching this movie as a kid has clearly affected my state of mind now because it is my genuine belief that comment sections online are basically the focal point of all digital evil on the World Wide Web. Having said all that, sometimes, when I'm on the internet reading articles and I'm feeling very adventurous, I'll put on my hazmat suit and dive into random comment sections. Why, you ask? Because fuck it, that's why?

Anyway, one of the biggest criticisms I've read this year in comment sections and message boards is about the direction in which Marvel has taken Cyclops and it got me thinking about why. I mean, Marvel's whole thing is that their characters tend to live a little closer to the human condition of the everyman while a lot of DC characters tend to be more static archetypes. Even though Uncanny X-Men is, thus far, serving a purpose similar to Dark Avengers from a few years back during the "Dark Reign" event, Cyclops didn't " go bad" necessarily.

You're Scott Summers. You haven't looked anyone in the eye since you hit puberty. You've been raised by a kind, well-meaning man who wishes for peace between humans and mutants while training you to fight giant robot death machines since you were 15 years old. You're basically the quintessential All-American captain of the football team for mutantkind. As time goes on and you grow into an adult, people from the future you've been taught to fight for come to the present day and basically tell you that you eventually fail. You watch your wife (who is basically your high school sweetheart) silently fawn over your hairy, homicial teammate. That same wife died, came back to life as a world-swallowing space god, died and came back to life and died AGAIN. Eventually, the race of people you're sworn to protect are magically dwindled down to barely enough to reach full capacity at Chick-Fil-A. Now, you're an endangered species living an island that's pretty much a reservation. At some point, that same world swallowing space god possesses you and you convince yourself that you're righting your dead wife's wrong by healing the world. Then, it drives you power mad and you kill Charles Xavier, your only father figure, in cold blood and you're thrown in jail. Cyclops didn't "turn evil." He snapped. Plain and simple.

It's not even a new phenomenon in Marvel. Take the Ultimate Universe, for example. Early on in Ultimate Spider-Man, Nick Fury confessed to having a file on Peter Parker because with everything that had happened to him and his family over the years (father killed in a Hulk attack, father's best friend's son becomes Venom, Uncle Ben, Norman Osborn, etc.), he was the most likely to snap and become the next big supervillain. Of course, Ultimate Peter Parker didn't snap. In fact, he went on to die in the service of not snapping and being exactly the kind of guy Uncle Ben wanted him to be (although I can't help but wonder if that's because Black Fury also said "When you turn 18, you're mine"....turns out that guy's a lying piece of shit in EVERY dimension). Meanwhile, Ultimate Reed Richards had endured equally fucked up circumstances (piece of shit father, being responsible for unintentionally wiping out another dimension, turning his best friends into a monster, his girlfriend being an indecisive ass, Doom, etc.) and, while nobody was looking, turned into the next big supervillain, almost wiping out humanity at least twice. You don't necessarily like or forgive the character for it, but you get it.

The same thing applies for others like the Norman and Harry Osborn, whose Green Goblin incarnations are completely about regular people just plain losing it in the face of bad shit happening. Brian Michael Bendis' run on Daredevil, which has turned out to be one of the most definitive eras in DD history other than Frank Miller's, is entirely the story of what happens when Matt Murdock has pretty much the worst time of his life (unable to cope with his girlfriend's death, secret identity outed to the press, Bullseye's return, declaring himself Kingpin of Hell's Kitchen, disbarred and thrown in prison, etc.) and being utterly unable to cope with the black hole his life had become.

You see it in real life all the time. Kanye West's evolution is pretty much the best real-life example I can think of when I think about what a hero-to-villain transformation looks like, but that's a whole other post.

Have you ever known someone before a relationship and seen them AFTER a breakup? After the death of a loved one? Post-traumatic stress is more present in America than its probably ever been. Often times, soldiers come home from war changed by their experiences and understandably so. Their job is literally to get shot at so you don't have to. Now, compare that to "superheroism." People who get shot at and attacked by all kinds of unthinkable supervillain shit every single day are bound to be deeply affected and changed in the wake of what they've seen.

No, seriously....WHY hasn't Marvel made
these shirts? You're leaving money on the
table, Marvel.

Having a major character go through a major change like that isn't necessarily always a perversion of who he or she was meant to be. Sometimes, it's the next logical step. It's evolution. Sometimes, people just snap. Comic book characters shouldn't have to be immune.