The Week In Geek 1/6/16

This Week In Star Wars (in case you're not sick of me talking about Star Wars yet)....I was scrolling through io9 and I saw yet another article listing all of the "minor" issues with The Force Awakens which, no offense to io9 in particular, has gotten goddamned annoying. The most annoying thing is that, since Force Awakens has been so well received and is well on its way to beating Avatar in worldwide sales (meaning there's nothing to justify an article on what sucks about it), every article you read has to preface it with, "Don't get me wrong...we like this movie, but..." in the same way racists start racist comments with, "Look, I don't want to sound racist, but..." Because outside of Star Wars, the week or so after New Year's is slow news in geekdom and the usual suspects need some shit to talk about.

In this very same week, JJ Abrams was on a podcast where he gave a very reasonable explanation for the naysayer who whine about the movie being a remake of A New Hope. First of all, he shouldn't have and, quite frankly, didn't have to do that if you ask me (I'm going to say that if you're reading my blog in the first place, that counts as you asking me). For one thing, there's the inevitability that if you keep feeling the need to justify your work, you'll say something stupid that will eventually end up as comedic fodder like when Max Landis said he wanted to make American Alien the opposite of AllStar Superman (I'm assuming by "the opposite", he meant "bad" because that's what's happened so far) or when Zack Snyderclaimed to have saved Watchmen from Terry Gilliam or whatever. Furthermore, we all know that, no matter what they say, directors and writers totally listen to the fans. Even the trolls. We know this, but it just looks bad when said creators actually respond because, ultimately, NEVER have these statements ever shut fanboys up no matter how thought out they are. Never. Zack Snyder has responded to Man of Steel criticisms for ages now and yet MoS is STILL the most divisive movie every in the genre. It doesn't even work in politics. Donald Trump could get on the stump tomorrow and claim that Jeb! Bush is a holocaust denier and Jeb! could say something logical and reasonable like, "I'm not responding to nonsensical, unfounded allegations. Let's talk about the issues." Despite this being a completely mature, rational way to respond to a Presidential candidate whose entire political strategy is based around lying and flinging gargoyle shit at the other candidates, odds are good that we would still ridicule him and call him "low energy" or whatever else Trump has convinced him he is. It's not that we want to believe something Donald Trump says. We don't. We know that, in all likelihood, it isn't true. But the fact that Bush is so visibly wounded, you can tell it affects him. Even when he's not directly addressing it, he's addressing it and, ultimately, dignifying the comments. Put simply, JJ Abrams, at this juncture, should just not be dignifying these things that are only being discussed just because the nerd blogosphere needs some shit to talk about. Also, I'm not a director/producer worth millions of dollars or anything, but if MY movie were holding solid at 94% on Rotten Tomatoes, io9 and anyone else who has anything to say about it could go fuck themselves no matter how well intentioned their "think piece" is. But that's just me, so....

My comic review for the week on Invincible Iron Man is up and available on Black Nerd Problems for your viewing pleasure. Outside of that, I may get a little inconsistent with the blog reviews since I just moved a PS4 into my house and will be playing unhealthy amounts of Destiny for both self-care and research purposes. Yes, I heard what I just said. Yes, I know it sounds ridiculous. Yes, I still mean it. That is all.

A Few Things About Avengers: Age of Ultron

SPOILERS SPOILERS ::Okay, I'm a little too tired this week to write a full on review for Avengers: Age of Ultron, but I will say overall that I really enjoyed the movie as a whole. I thought it was "on par with" but not better than the first one which, in fairness, had a LOT less of a balancing act to pull off on many levels. For the interest of brevity, I'll just do a simple break down of what I liked and what I didn't like. :: SPOILERS SPOILERS

Likes:

More Hawkeye: Granted, we'll NEVER see a Hawkeye/Mockingbird romance thanks to Agents of SHIELD (where Bobbi Morse is a godsend), it was nice to get some more depth to Barton's character while still getting the smartass Avengers mainstay we all know and love. Not everyone liked the visit to Hawkeye's family, but I think it showed depth and agency in a character that we didn't get to know at all in the first movie because of Loki and The Shittiest Mind Control Of All Time. It also goes to show that we're at a point in the genre where people have to learn to let go and consider these movies as much of an alternative as Ultimate Marvel or Marvel Noir or Marvel Mangaverse and that's okay. Many readers like knowing that comic movies are all hitting the right story beats because it's a way for fans to evaluate what they're watching, but changing things in the narrative like Barton's family is also necessary and keeps readers on their toes so they're getting something fresh.

Anyone who didn't feel like a kid again at this
moment is lying to themselves.

Vision: Paul Bettany has always been a good fit as Jarvis, but the Vision is a great fit for him. Honestly, I never even thought a character like him would end up making it to the big screen, but Whedon really pulled it off visually.

Ultron: Anyone whose ever watched The Blacklist knows James Spader was the perfect voice for an evil robot who is, at times, a little too human for his own good. I know not everyone liked the quirkiness, but honestly, I was reading the latest original graphic novel, Rage of Ultron (amazing one shot, by the way) and the titular villain is a much more traditional version that longtime fans are used to. Even though Rick Remender did a masterful job of encompassing that classic voice for Ultron, the first thing I thought was "Thank God for James Spader." The Ultron that a lot of people were expecting, this dry yet self aware technological Frankenstein monster of sorts wouldn't have translated well. First of all, it's a hard sell that Tony Stark would create an artificial intelligence that didn't have any sense of humor. Second of all, yes, it wouldn't be hard to a more cerebral version of Ultron, but that "What am I? Why did you create me?" brand of existentialism just doesn't gel well with...let's face it...a popcorn movie. Just ask I, Robot.

Joss Whedon: You can tell there are certain points in the movie and the script where Whedon has a little more flexibility in making the film he wanted to make (You can also tell that there are points where he couldn't get the studio's foot off of his neck to save his life, but that's a whole other post). It's no secret that with these franchise blockbusters, the car is already built and the director just makes sure the thing doesn't run itself off the freeway into the river. But in this case, Whedon seems to have enough geek cred that Kevin Feige managed to climb out of his ass long enough to let him direct. This movie seemed to have more of his trademark snark and self aware characters. I think the importance of this Whedon's role in this movie is that

Dislikes:

Not enough Vision: He was pretty key to the story and the time we spent with him was worthwhile, but the downside to Whedon's balancing act of giving all the Avengers proper screentime was that we only spent a solid ten minutes with a brand new Avenger who was directly tied to the primary villain.

Widow/Banner Romance: Okay, I realize that, in attempting to humanize relatively static characters, the default way to go is usually to get them laid. But this....was a little weird. Don't get me wrong. Whedon gave them more than enough of that usual Whedon charm so that it wasn't unwatchable, but it was awkward. Bruce Banner is possibly the most self aware of all the Avengers in the same way someone with a terminal illness would be. There's really no need to keep hammering that point home by throwing a pretty lady at him. Making the Black Widow a big softie is the equivalent of making Wolverine a softie who weeps over Jean Grey's body. And don't even get me started on the problematic gender politics of that little Red Room speech where not being able to give birth somehow makes her a monster. I applaud them for trying to give Widow some layers that we're not used to because the mainstay things we as readers love about Widow could be dicey over time with a mainstream audience. But it was just odd.

Anatomy of a Comic: So You Wanna Write a Shitty Crossover Event.....

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

Okay, so usually, if it comes down to the Big Two, I commonly prefer Marvel crossover events to DC's. Usually, even when they're not great, they're fun reads for the moment (absolutely excluding Age of Ultron). Original Sin is trying, but it's not succeeding. In fact, I will go as far as saying that it is indeed failing. Mike Deodato's artwork is probably the one prevailing awesome is this series, but as far as plot and marketing, I don't understand what this book is going for. It's been a very schizophrenic title thus far. Sometimes, it's a murder mystery....and then it's 28 pages of characters not liking each other....then it's The Secret History of the Secret History of Nick Fury. There's one more issue to go and I still don't understand the point of this book.

-The first problem with this week's issue? The cover:

Daredevil is on this cover....but Daredevil is NOT IN THIS BOOK! He's really not even very involved in the Original Sin event at all with the exception of the big scene where everyone's secrets get revealed or something. It's not even as if it's some kind of quirky "Deadpool Is On Every Cover This Month Because It's Quirky But It's Really Obnoxious" kind of thing. He's just on the cover....for some reason. In a crossover event, every single aspect of the cover (or, really any comic) should be symbolic of or selling you on something taking place IN the book.

-This issue spent a lot of time in flashbacks to tell us that The Orb, Exterminatrix and Dr. Midas are the bad guys in this book. This would be awesome....if we hadn't already known they were the bad guys in this book since the second issue. In fact, was their being in this book at all wasn't very exciting. I mean, Dr. Midas turning things to gold was kinda cool but other than that, these are NOT memorable characters by any stretch of the imagination. In a crossover title, even a shitty character should stick with you. With the right writer, even a stopped clock can be right twice a day. Take DC's Identity Crisis, for example.....

Dr. Light is, for the most part, a shitty villain (I can't possibly be the only person who thinks of Mega Man when I hear his name) and was largely a plot device to facilitate this faction of the Justice League crossing the line in dealing with him, but he's still memorable. He was set up properly without having to involve him in a tie-in somewhere else. His attack on Sue Dibny didn't exactly feel forced (though, to this day, I don't agree it should have gone that far). This is how you create a memorable moment for a bad guy in a big event even when your bad guy sucks.

-So, this big fight with Nick Fury....Aside from Thor, Falcon and Iron Man, should the Avengers be able to maneuver so well in zero gravity?

-Has anyone else noticed that Moon Knight isn't very....Moon Knight-ish? Don't get me wrong. I understand that big companies like Marvel aren't always some well oiled machine between creative talent so, yeah, I get that one hand doesn't usually know what the other hand's doing. But when you have such a memorable incarnation of Moon Knight as the one Warren Ellis has left us with (Brian Wood's got a hell of a challenge following him up), you usually want to incorporate at least SOME pieces of that version in a high profile crossover title.

Come on. Look at this boss!!!

Imagine this guy, Mr. Knight standing in the presence of all these heroes in an all while business suit taking cues from the vengeance god Khonshu (think Norman Osborn in Dark Avengers hearing "the Goblin"). Now, that would make for an interesting addition to this mix of this unlikely (if you don't consider that a lot of either have a movie or are going to have one) cast of characters. Speaking of which....

-This makes (correct me if I'm wrong) the fourth issue where at least half of this large cast is just standing around in a room not liking each other and not understanding what's going on although, in their defense, neither do I. You could have possibly gotten away with this when it was Nick Fury explaining that he's a Secret Guy Whose Secret Is That He Has Secrets, but come on. I mean, you've got guys like the world's best mass murderer (Punisher), space renegades (Gamora and Rocket Raccoon), a super spy type (Winter Soldier) and a guy whose specialty is shrinking small enough to remain out of sight. No way would they have a big fight with Nick Fury robots, be seen with Nick Fury who, for right now, looks like The Bad Guy, not help the Avengers.....and just stay at the scene of the fight, talking.

In a crossover event with a cast this big that affects the rest of your universe, it's okay to move around a little bit. DC's 52 was a good exercise in this point. Granted, I acknowledge that they had a LOT more issues to execute this with, but every aspect of the ongoing story had time to breathe and get its proper development. Much like Game of Thrones, the story was never in a hurry to get back to one thing or the other.

-Did Nick Fury say "goodbye" to Captain America and fly away with the Watcher's eyes just to go to the moonbase....which is basically a few miles from the goddamned space station? Where he knocked Thor (who, despite not having his hammer, is still really strong and pissed off) and the Hulk to? What the fucking fuck?

-It's the 7th issue in an 8 issue series and I'm still not sure what the point of any of this is. In a crossover event, your purpose should be laid out clearly early on. Hell, it should be the reason we pick up the first issue. Civil War...superheroes fighting over the morality of government oversight in superheroism. Secret Invasion....nobody trusts anyone during an alien invasion. Siege....deposing a villain who wants to be a dictator. Original Sin....umm....ummm.....

Of course, the point of this could very well also just stop at "Because It's Crossover Event Season" too. That's a possibility.