The Week In Geek 6/24/15

So, this week, it was announced that Marvel (and Sony) chose Tom Holland to play Spider-Man in the upcoming reboot and the next Captain America movie. For those of us keeping track, that makes three Spider Man reboots in 15 years. Two more before 2020 and Sony gets a free Subway sandwich but I digress. Clearly, by the look of him, Marvel has been mandated to appeal to Big Brother Disney's potential viewers with a SUPER young fresh face. It's actually kind of amazing that the superhero movie genre has come to a point where fans (and probably Marvel) are excited about Marvel actually getting to lay real creative hands on their own flagship character after almost 20 years of just being the hired help like DC is to Warner Bros.

Also, Marvel confirmed the theme for Season 3 of Agents of SHIELD is "Secret Warriors" which makes complete sense now that we know Skye's whole storyline has been essentially setting her up as Daisy "Quake" Johnson from the comics. You know, "Agents" is a show that has evolved in style and quality over the past two seasons quite nicely....better than its early detractors want to admit. The show does a good job of taking storylines that the movies might take too much time to develop and making them their own. And then there are times when they give you a piecemeal version of a story the movies are almost definitely going to revisit (Civil War, Inhumans) as a way of testing the waters or at least watering fan appetites for later. It's going to be very interesting to see how they modify Brian Bendis' old Secret Warriors story.

As per usual, my weekly comic reviews (this week, it's Planet Hulk) are available on Black Nerd Problems for your viewing pleasure. Feel free to like, comment and/or share at your discretion. You know the drill.

A Black Panther Movie Isn't That Hard

So, with Marvel's Movie Machine reaching optimum levels as far as production quality and with Guardians of the Galaxy, a previously unknown franchise to fans, getting rave reviews all across the board, the big question being asked is "Who's next?" And it makes sense. After all, it seemed like Marvel was betting it all on introducing a set number of heroes and building the universe specifically around them (though, in fairness, it's arguable that Iron Man was in the Guardians' position until six years ago). Now, that they've proven that they can make quality product while still taking a degree of risk on characters, it's only reasonable that fanboys would be even more eager their respective favorites to get a turn at bat.

With all that said....Black Panther.

This is that one movie Kevin Feige swears to the Old Gods and the New is in development almost annually at this point. And a lot people got their mouths watering after a proposed release schedule for the next five years of Marvel movies was spread across the internet, but that was proven to be fan-made shenanigans. Allegedly, there is a script and an active casting call in the works, but at this point, fans will probably only believe it when they see it. With that in mind, there are a handful of things that a good Black Panther movie needs to have.

1). Strong Black Women: Wakanda is supposed to be a technologically advanced society apart from the rest of Africa and, ultimately, the world. It should also be culturally advanced. Most incarnations of Black Panther depict the fictional country as thumbing its nose at the worst parts of Western culture on every level. A big one the movie should highlight is its treatment of women. Now, granted....with Fox not letting go of the X-Men rights anytime soon (even though Marvel could totally shoehorn her in on the technicality that Storm was once an Avenger) the chances of us seeing a budding romance between T'Challa and Storm are about as likely as Ron Paul ever being President. But there's still no shortage of tough women at Panther's side. His sister, Shuri almost definitely has to play a big role. I would run include a few fantastic scenes of her acting impulsively, leaping headfirst out of jet (like Captain America, making it another snub at the West), leading an attack against someone like the Rhino. It would be somewhat reminiscent of the rhino scene in 300. This would also be an opportunity to outdo Sony's Paul Giamatti Rhino the way they're outdoing Fox's Quicksilver. I suppose you could go with the Dora Milaje, T'Challa's official bodyguards/wives-in-training, but they have to get rid of the "wives in training" part because that sounds way too much like "concubines."

2). African Actors: Let's face it, guys. Halle Berry as Storm (even though the writers and wigmakers also deserve equal blame) was the best possible example of selecting a high profile Black name for a character of color as opposed to actual casting. And the reactions to the NWA cast list and Zoe Saldana playing Nina Simone should be enough evidence to Hollywood that "close enough" is not a great way to go about casting characters of color. There's basically no downside to getting African actors to play characters that live in Africa. I would say this shouldn't have to be said, but the MENSA candidate that made Prometheus has proven me wrong. This is an opportunity for Marvel to show some real understanding of what representation on the big screen would mean to little black kids. Speaking of which....

3). Djimon Hounsou: Good looking, charismatic, talented actor, physically imposing enough to probably break my 6'4, 250 pound ass in half. So, here's a guy who was basically the perfect person to play the Black Panther. Ten years ago. Although he voiced the titular character in the short lived, kinda-sorta-didn't-get-off-the-ground cartoon series, time was our enemy in getting the Gladiator star in the costume. Still, I could totally see Hounsou playing T'Chaka, Panther's father who was assassinated by Ulysses Klaw, via flashbacks. It would show some respect towards the fact that there have been attempts over the years to establish BP as a marquee character.

4). Wakanda As A Strong Nation: I know this is something else that really shouldn't have to be said, but truthfully, I know Marvel, with how awesome their recent offerings have been, probably has the strong urge to have Wakanda seem awesome....but not as awesome as Captain America. But here's the thing. I know Disney isn't likely to be down for a story where America is portrayed as being slightly sinister, so I'm not suggesting a movie where Wakanda takes an "Us vs. Them" narrative (even though that's exactly how Wakanda is in the comics), but I wouldn't mind seeing Reginald Hudlin's "Captain America Visited Here Once And Was Promptly Thrown Out On His Ass Because Fuck White Saviors" flashback played out on screen. Marvel has already been praised for allowing Kelly Sue DeConnick to play around with the turning the White Savior narrative on its ear, so this is a no-brainer for them, really. In the comics, while the rest of the world was being infiltrated by shape shifting alien zealots, this is a nation that sent them packing to say the least.

5). A Strong Focus On Establishing It's Own Franchise: This is an easy one. It doesn't even need to be an origin story. The first movie, Klaw killed T'Challa's dad (5 minute flashback at the beginning) and, as the King of Wakanda years later, Panther has become even more obsessed than ever with tracking him down and bringing him to justice. But Shuri and his council notice it's putting him off his game as a ruler, causing him to turn a blind eye to his elite police, lead by the White Wolf (T'Challa's adoptive older brother), using aggressive tactics to root out Western spies and other outside threats. As it turns out, the Wolf is working with Klaw to orchestrate an uprising among the people. Allude to the coming of Klaw in a sequel through a couple of faint appearances a la Thanos in Guardians.

In truth, a Black Panther movie really shouldn't be all that hard. If we can get Ant-Man and Rocket Raccoon and Loki reincarnated into a lovable little scamp of a supervilliain, I think Marvel can make this happen. Then again, I could be wrong.

The Movie Spider Man Problem

So, after writing my review for The Amazing Spider-Man 2, I then went out in the internets to read reactions to the film and, as predicted, it proved to be as divisive (if not moreso) than Man of Steel was among nerds. They either a). walked away entertained while totally aware of the film's more glaring issues or b). eager to forget the whole thing ever happened. Both are fair reactions to have. After all, it's every bit as understandable that someone would be taken with Andrew Garfield's performance enough give the rest of the movie a pass as it is that some people won't be able to get past Dubstep Electro and Kinda Green Goblin getting maybe five minutes of fight time.

But the ending put something about the movie franchise as a whole into focus that could possibly be a bit off-putting for some old school Spider-Man loyalists on a subconscious level (I say "subconsciously" because I can't say I've actually ever heard this complaint from anyone watching the movies....just a conjecture) that makes some of the goofy moments that much more goofy. I submit that there's a good chance we might not ever see the kind of Spider-Man story the source material whores want to see.

"Well, damn, Oz! Why the hell not?" Good question. One thing that was more overt in The Amazing Spider-Man 2 and Sam Raimi's Spider-Man 3 than any other movies is that Spidey is BELOVED in New York City. I mean, there are at least three cinematic instances I can think of where a Spider-Man fight was a public event akin to street dancers on the subway as opposed to what it would REALLY be which is people fleeing in terror, most of them not even knowing what they're running from other things exploding. The first movie showed people flinging trash at the Green Goblin, claiming the webslinger as one of their own. Spider-Man 2 featured a subway car full of people crowd surfing him with his arms like Christ. Spider-Man 3 had a parade in Peter's honor as well as a day named for him.

Anyone who keeps up with the comics could probably see how strange this is. It's pretty much standard operating procedure in the comics that Spider-Man is, at best, tolerated by the status quo. There are moments even when he's saved the day, he doesn't get it 100% right and people hate him for it. Of course, this is in keeping the overall moral of a Spider-Man comic that sometimes it sucks to do the right thing and people might hate you for doing the right thing, but do the right thing anyway because it's right and it beats being a terrible person. In fact, the only time I can remember people adoring him the way they do in the movies is during the Superior Spider-Man when Doctor Octopus Spidey was almost constantly applauded for being an Extinction Level Douchebag (which is part of why 75% of that book was a stupid idea).

There's only two applicable reasons I could fathom for this.

1). Given the fact that Sony exclusively owns the movie rights to Spider-Man means that it exists in a different universe as the Marvel Cinematic Universe. That means he and the Avengers don't exist together. In other words, in the New York he occupies, there's no such thing as the Avengers....so he's the only superhero the people have ever seen. So, sure, it might make sense that he'd be something of a rock star.

2). (And this is really the more important thing to pay attention to.) More than ten years later, a post 9/11 Hollywood will always be hesitant...and rightfully so...to depict an apathetic, rude New York that treats its heroes as anything other than heroes. I get that this is a weird criticism, but consider Movie New York over the years.

I apologize in advance, but this is the second time in the life of this blog that I have to explain Ghostbusters II. This is the movie where an evil painting was filling the sewers with slime that made people into hateful jerks while slowly plunging New York into the eighth level of Hell (or Dallas, depending on who you ask). When the Ghostbusters came to the Mayor, making an impassioned plea to take action, this was the result.....


For me, this is pretty much the poster child for how New York was portrayed in television and cinema before some assholes threw a plane at a building and took countless lives, a day that most of us will probably not forget. This happened so close to the first Spider-Man film that they had to go back and delete the Twin Towers from the posters and certain scenes.

Odds are good we'll probably not see a movie anytime soon where a guy saves hundreds of people from a guy throwing exploding jack o' lanterns or a guy made out of sand only to have trash thrown at his head while he's being called a bum.

Because, as cynical as this generation can be, mainstream moviegoers want to see heroes win. (This is probably why Watchmen had such mixed reactions from people. It's hard to sell people a superhero movie that's primarily about failure.) They want them to be loved because, ultimately, they're blank slates for the viewer. They want to be able to paste themselves the point of superheroes is to give us some semblance of hope that doing the right thing can have a semi-happy ending.

Unless, of course, you're Batman. Because Batman doesn't give a fuck if you like him.

Well, The Amazing Spider Man 2....Umm...Happened.

The fanboys are going to have to start learning to live with one inescapable fact: Spider-Man belongs to Sony and the suits would rather lob off their own pinkies in a fit of cocaine induced rage before ever giving him back to Marvel. It will not happen. So, the dreams of a Spider-Man/Avengers cinematic team are just that: a pipe dream that will come to fruition around the same time the Dallas Cowboys win another Super Bowl (that's code for "Never").

I say all that to say that Marc Webb's follow up to 2012's "The Amazing Spider-Man" is probably the most that comic culture can ask for out of Sony's crack team of writers and producers which, judging by the amount of characters and conflicts crammed into 2.5 hours, must be legion. Civilian (non-nerd) moviegoers will almost certainly adore this visually arresting romp. Comic loyalists will be ridiculously divided. I remember sitting in the theater, seeing an unforgivably goofy moment in which Spider-Man (Andrew Garfield) saves three different people out of a frenzied stampede of hundreds from certain electrocution using his only functioning web-shooter and I could practically hear the true geeks groaning in unison. However, if they get past their perennial inability to share with mainstream audiences, this actually ends up being a somewhat decent addition to the webslinger's adventures.

The movie opens up with us seeing Peter Parker fully embracing his whimsical personal as Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man, loved by the city (most of it, anyway) and loathed by crooks. Meanwhile, in his civilian life, he remains tormented by Captain George Stacy (Denis Leary) who, with his dying breath in the first film, made Pete promise to keep his daughter, Gwen (Emma Stone) out of his death defying adventures. This probably fucks with him so mainly because of their resolve to ignore the Captain's orders. This is easily the most compelling narrative of the film since it involves two of the best performances. Stone's Gwen is brainy and confident which makes her an adequate leading lady for Garfield, the eight cylinder engine powering this movie, who really gets to show off as the fully realized Wallcrawler we didn't get nearly enough of in the previous film, a witty Spidey that wisecracks through pummeling bad guys to hide his inner turmoil, stumbling through the consequences being Spider-Man has on his personal life.

Shoehorned into the narrative was Peter's continuing search for answers concerning the disappearance of his parents (Campbell Scott, Embeth Davidtz) when he was a little boy. This felt like a rush job that led to a). a heartwarming scene between Peter and his struggling Aunt May (Sally Field) and b). a "sins of their fathers" plotline to link him to his long lost childhood friend Harry Osborn (a creepy, slightly emo Dane DeHaan), whose ailing father, Norman (Chris Cooper), owns Oscorp, the mega-conglomerate that Peter's father worked at. The movie makes no bones about painting Oscorp as NOTHING but the sum total of every "evil empire" ever imagined from which nothing good is derived.

They don't even have appropriate health insurance, evident by Max Dillon (Jamie Foxx), a dorky Spidey-obsessed employee who has an unfortunate spill into a vat of electric eels (I shit you not) and becomes the villainous Electro. Foxx did what he could with what the writers gave him, but he has so much natural charisma, he wears the nerd facade about as well as the Roach from Men in Black wore human skin.

Oh, and there's Paul Giamatti as the Rhino, who feels about as "Aww shucks" and comically throw-away as Cillian Murphy's Scarecrow from the Dark Knight films. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if we see him in later films getting beaten up for about ten minutes before Garfield goes on to face whoever his main threat ends up being.

Spidey has his work cut out for him as did Webb, who tried his absolute damnedest to tie all these conflicts together in a neat bow. He doesn't necessarily fail, but the script's Frankenstein-like stitches are definitely apparent. Although, in fairness, it's clearer in this movie than it was in the previous one that the faults aren't necessarily his fault. It's obvious that this car was already fresh off the assembly line and that he was just the driver. Although this movie is at its strongest when it's highlighting the internal conflicts of its major players, the battles still pack plenty of punch with enough "holyshitareyoufuckingkiddingme" moments that really show off why our hero is utterly BELOVED by the citizens of New York (to the dismay of some comic loyalists).

Bottom Line: Is it perfect? NO. Is it better than the first one? Possibly. Will EVERYONE be happy? Hell No. Will it entertain the majority? Most likely. In that regard, it was pretty okay. A mixed bag...but there's nothing wrong with that. 7.5 out of 10