Stuff I Read This Week Episode 5 or Evil Robots and the Fanboys Who Love Them....

Age of Ultron #1: Although I've never really liked Ultron, I have to respect a determined, goal-oriented supervillain who knows what they want. He's cold, calculating android. He wants to enslave and/or destroy humanity. More or less, he's the worse case scenario of "I'm sorry. I can't do that, Dave." He's a lot like a couple of my exes, actually. He's also perfect since Marvel was due for a new bloated crossover event for us to get behind and they wanted to bring us a villain we haven't seen truly shine in a while (Kobe Bryant was busy).

In this first installment Brian Michael Bendis throws us head first into the post apocalyptic war zone, not bothering to catch us up on how Ultron managed to throw the set pieces from Blade Runner right on top of New York and conquer the world. This is awesome and bizarre all at once, considering at least half the point of Marvel NOW is to reel in new readers (presumably the movie audiences). Current fans will feel right at home, seeing the state of some of their favorite characters. First timers might feel like they're playing catch up despite the right-to-the-point synopsis offered on the first page.

While actual storyline progression is light, we get some quality action and a pretty good idea of the desperate emotional state most of our characters are in. Bendis is fond of getting his readers' attention before giving up backstory, so it's safe to expect a bit more context in issues to come. Bryan Hitch's pencils are every bit the top notch work fans of his work on the Ultimates and The Authority have come to expect. His vast landscapes portraying the battle-scarred, techno wasteland that was once New York City are gorgeous. The two page splashes for action beats are more than enough to consider your money well spent.

Bottom Line: A vague yet action packed, engaging opening to what could be a strong crossover title. 8 out of 10.


Avengers #7: It seems Marvel has adopted the idea that, being the flagship franchise, the Avengers books should offer different things for different readers. Whereas Uncanny Avengers, gives us more of the slugfests we're used to thus far, this title seems to offer conflict of an epic yet cerebral scale. With a writer like Jonathan Hickman on board, the world isn't ending...."the universe is broken." The heroes don't jump out of their jet guns blazing. They ponder, plan, prepare and react. In this book, existence is definitely in some unknown peril and, in this issue, the Avengers are....well, talking about it. Hickman is clearly fond of classic sci-fi lore from the likes of Orson Scott Card and Isaac Asimov, masters of crafting epic adventures with characters as vehicles for grand scheme events. Some comic fans might be harder to sell on that than others. For readers who are used to their heroes seeing a bad guy and solving the problem by punching him in the face, this book might not be their cup of tea right away.



Dustin Weaver's pencils are lovely. The scenes are consistent and coherent, making Hickman's story easy to digest. His everyday citizens don't exactly jump off the page, but the renderings of Captain America and Iron Man stand out in particular. Hopefully we get to see how they look when they're in action.

Bottom Line: Despite a glut of exposition that may turn some readers off, this is a strong, good looking book that is worth keeping up with if you enjoy story over instant gratification. 7.5 out of 10

All New X-Men #8: This book is still in winning form with the X-Men teaming up alongside their young counterparts. The original five are still finding their bearings, coming to grips with the state of mutant affairs in the present day. And they are still not liking the things life is showing them. This is focuses mainly on young Angel trying to figure out what's happened to old Angel. Bendis handles the awkwardness between the idealistic naivete of teenage Warren Worthington and his older self's (let's face it) crazy humorously while staying true to the character. Not only should Bendis be writing ALL of the X-books, but after reading a hilarious exchange between Iceman and Shadowcat, Kitty Pryde is long overdue for her own solo title. While the head this whole story should be building towards is coming slowly which tends to be a frequent worry when writing a Bendis title. However, the journey is so good, you almost forget about the destination. David Marquez's pencils are incredible. His characters really know how to emote during dialogue panels and the aerial combat scenes are awesome although, at times, it's easy for his characters to get lost in the backgrounds.

Bottom Line: Another gorgeous addition to this already fantastic X-saga. Hopefully, it's going somewhere soon. 8 out of 10.

Stuff I Read This Week Episode 4 or Superheroes Treat Mind Control Like a Preexisting Condition

Uncanny Avengers #4: When I started reading the Marvel NOW titles, the one that caught my eye first was this Rick Remender/John Cassaday cross pollination of two superhero teams that, until recently, had been in notoriously separate corners of the same universe. How could you NOT be excited about this? You take a few upper echelon Avengers, some X-Men that could do for an upgrade, throw in Wolverine (because it isn't a Marvel team without Wolverine) and you get a potentially awesome premise. Thus far, this series has yet to disappoint me. Issue 3 left off with the Red Skull, who stole Charles Xavier's brain, using the dead mutant's psychic powers to turn New York murderous. It's just kooky enough of a conflict and just enough of a kooky villain to be a strong start for this title. We see an unlikely faceoff between team members is going to bring both joy and nerd rage to fanboys, surely sparking "who would win" debates for a while. This does present a issue for me about "brainwashed friend" subplots.

Has anyone ever noticed how little teammates do to save friends suffering from mind control? It could just be me, but this issue of UA saw the team do almost nothing to save their friend. In fact, it seemed very much like it didn't take much before they started regarding him as another villain. Still, this doesn't take much away from the progression of the story. Remender is still getting his bearings with the voice he wants for this book, but he's doing a good job while he does. John Cassaday is at the top of his game with his brilliant pencils, perfectly capturing an amazing page that gives a not so subtle nod to Days of Future Past and an ending that can only be described as "What the Fuck?"

Bottom Line: Despite a couple of clumsy scripting moments and talky narration, this book's strong plot, gorgeous visuals, well written characters and sneak attack ending make for an enjoyable read. 7.5 out of 10


Batman Incorporated #8: Well, it's about that time of year. The tides are just right. The stars are aligned. Some planet's in retrograde. It's time for a "major" Batman character to die. I wanted to try not to give away spoilers, however DC has made that impossible with not only putting said character on the cover with a big "RIP" at the bottom of the page, but the endless ads in an attempt to rope first time readers.

This issue sees the return of Damian Wayne to the fight for Gotham as the city is overrun by Leviathan. Morrison gives plenty of leeway for Batman's douchbag son to steal the show with a really fun script that does an adequate job of trying to take our minds off of the fact that we all already know where this is going. The action reminds us of how good Damien and Dick Grayson work together. Meanwhile, the Bat himself spends most of this book at the mercy of his lover/nemesis, Talia, who is fleshed out a small bit as a villain in a refreshing manner. Chris Burnham and Jason Masters' pencils do a pretty good job of creating a feel that doesn't come across with a typical superhero feel yet still manages to be exciting, stepping up to compliment Morrison's scripting.

As for the ending, it's hard to say whether or not it was a necessary event. I have a feeling it's going to be one of those comic book moments that we look back on after all the fallout being undone and realize that it was completely unnecessary....like Marvel's Civil War.

Bottom Line: A fun, well scripted, tightly penciled lead into a questionable comic moment that may or may not matter in Bat-mythos to come. 8.5 out of 10

Stuff I Read This Week: Episode 3 or Maybe It's Not Too Late for Disney to Buy DC Comics, Too....

Superior Spider Man #4: For those of you who've kept up, I've had a running deal with a friend of mine that I would give Dan Slott four issues to make lemonade from the lemon that is the Spider Man franchise's current direction. After that, I'm washing my hands of the whole thing until the story returns to status quo (which we all know it's headed towards). It's the fourth issue and this title receives a stay of execution...just barely. We see the return of Massacre, a bush league baddie from "Amazing" who isn't terribly spectacular. Apparently, his gimmick is that he is biologically devoid of human empathy....which is completely different from most other psycho killers. It doesn't matter much that Massacre is only an inch above average, anyway. He's just a device to advance the current character conflict: It turns out that Otto Octavius in Spider Man's body is more like....well, Batman.

On the plus side, Giuseppe Camuncoli's visuals are some of the best I've seen from the SM universe in the past five years or so. It delivers a sort of balance that creepy when need be as well as light hearted at times. Slott even manages to sneak in some truly comedic gems like Otto's reaction to Peter Parker's level of education. The fundmental problem is still the same is its been, though. No matter how good the small laughs and easter eggs thrown in are, it's still an attempt to put strawberries in a shit sandwich. It's kind of like putting The Rock in a G.I. Joe movie....wait.

Bottom Line: Decent kicks, decent villain, great pencils, but it's still an awful state of affairs. But the small reveal on the last page has bought this book a few more issues in my rotation. 7 out of 10.


Justice League of America #1: Okay, I received some feedback from a couple of readers complaining that I haven't reviewed any DC titles yet. There's a reason for this: a majority of them are fucking terrible which makes if perfectly appropriate that the Justice League titles would be the flagship books of the "New 52" initiative (By the way, a year and a half later, can we go ahead and stop calling them the 52 new?). In this series, the government has decided that the "Big Seven" is too much of a wild card to go unchecked, something that I could almost swear had been decided ages ago. As a response, Amanda Waller and Steve Trevor assemble eight B and C students of superheroism to be accountable to the government or, if need be, take the JL down. Because if anyone could take down people like Superman, Wonder Woman and Batman....it's Vibe and Katana. First of all, I'm pretty sure DC tried to sell us this same Kool Aid with Justice League International with minimal success if any at all. And that one had Batman in it. Between Steve Trevor behaving like a jilted Twilight character over Wonder Woman and Hawkman being portrayed as crooked asshole space cop (which, sadly, is STILL better than the first two issues of Savage Hawkman), DC's forced attempt to Marvel-ize their continuity is so sad and unreadable, if you hold it up to your ear, you can almost hear Geoff Johns saying "Oh, fuck it....why not?"

Bottom Line: This book is the summation of virtually everything that's wrong with the majority of rebooted DC books. 4 out of 10.

Stuff I Read This Week: Episode 2 or Maybe Brian Michael Bendis Should Just Write ALL of the Books

Red Team #1: I haven't always been a fan of Garth Ennis' style of storytelling (despite his Punisher arcs being awesome), but it worked for me in this crime drama tale of four top cops who turn to street justice to get the job done with a criminal the system couldn't eliminate. The premise is intriguing enough to keep you turning pages for a bit, but it has its problems. First of all, there's not much action in this issue. It's easy enough to see Ennis is trying to build tension, but it is a difficult sell when the format is based around a principal character telling us what's going to happen on the first page. In fact, most of the book is based around a lot of talking. A lot. There are some writers who do well pulling this off, but in this particular case, Ennis skated by.

Bottom Line: The payoff at the end is marginally sweet and it's worth sticking around for another issue or two, but this first installment could have been so much more than it turned out to be. 6 out of 10.


Daredevil End of Days #5: It's more than clear by now that there are two franchises that Brian Michael Bendis can write like nobody's business: Spider Man and Daredevil. His epic run on DD left fans and non fans alike salivating and his return to the character has not changed a thing. And technically, Daredevil isn't even in the damn book! This issue of End of Days sees one of the most powerful moments yet in an exchange with Ben Urich and the Punisher, who spends the better part of this issue restrained in his seat. It's almost wrong to call what Bendis does "dialogue" because it's too natural to have such a technical term. You're not reading two characters using words to advance a story so much as a character study of two people revealing who they are. It's conversation plain and simple. And there simply isn't enough praise in existence for the art. Every page done by Klaus Janson and Bill Sienkiewicz leaps forward and pulls your attention inward with every detail.

Bottom Line: This book is one issue closer to one of the greatest Daredevil stories ever told. Ever. 9 out of 10.

All New X-Men #7: "If you shoot me, it won't hurt me and I will cut off your hands. I'll go back to wherever I came from and you won't have hands."

 Brian Bendis' take on the X Franchise has been possibly the most refreshing since Joss Whedon's run on Astonishing X-Men. The premise we're given in the inaugural story arc is interesting enough. Beast goes back in time and brings back young Scott Summers from the first days of the team and places him in the present, hoping the current Cyclops will go back to being the idealistic asshole we love instead of the colossal asshole he's being. This issue puts young Scott together with the usually devious Mystique for an interesting dialogue for those who are familiar with the character. We also see Kitty Pryde coming into her own as she begins training the rest of the original five X-Men which makes for a fun moment so the story doesn't read as all "doom and gloom." David Marquez' pencils are a great fill-in for Stuart Immonen. He seems to do a good job of retaining a similar style so the change isn't so drastic, lining up well with Bendis' scripting. My only complaint is that young Cyclops may be....young, but he isn't SO gullible that he would be this accepting right away of someone like Mystique. Other than that, this is grade-A X-Men.

Bottom Line: Dramatic yet fun scripting....appealing artwork....Bendis is definitely doing top notch work on the book. 8.5 out of 10.

Things I Read This Week (or Sometimes I Think Marvel Lost the Instruction Manual to Marvel)....

BE ADVISED: SPOILERS....KINDA

Avengers #4:

"Here, Hyperion. Drink. It's like vodka, but for men."~Thor

You know, I confess I was (still am) worried about the plot for this book feeling rushed because it's biweekly release, but Jonathan Hickman seems to be handling it just fine thus far. His penchant for high-minded sci-fi concepts seems to blend well with this franchise, reminiscent of Grant Morrison's handling of All Star Superman. Adam Kubert's pencils seem to barely tow the line for Kubert standards which some may not be able to engage with right away. This title seems to employ a Justice League Unlimited model, highlighting different combinations of a set pool of team members each issue.

This week seems to shine a spotlight on Hyperion from Squadron Supreme fame which leads me to my only real problem. A while back, Marvel introduced the Sentry into larger continuity, exploring the question "What if Superman were a Marvel character?" The result was....questionable at best. In fact, it felt like the writers were so frustrated with the lack of a real plan for the character, they rushed him to a early (or all too appropriate) grave, never speaking of him again. Perhaps, this was a planned statement on what would probably happen to a Superman in the Marvel universe, but I doubt it. My hope is that Hyperion is not another attempt to introduce a similar variable into the Avengers ant farm. Quite simply, Marvel already has a Superman....and it's Captain America.

Bottom Line: Thus far, this title has been Orson Scott Card meets Stan Lee in it's approach and Hickman sees no reason to deviate from that plan. Kubert's pencils leave a little something to be desired, though. 7.5 out of 10.


Superior Spider Man #2: I should mention right off the bat that after reading Amazing Spider Man #700, I am immensely skeptical about this direction and how the story would return to status quo (because let's face it...that's the only place "events" like this go). However, I made a bet with a friend that I would give Dan Slott four issues to turn this exercise in convolution into something readable. After which, I'd wash my hands of the whole thing.

Having said that, this issue of Superior Spider Man is fucking awful. This issue runs with the revelation from #1 that Peter Parker's ghost is following our new Spider Man, Otto Octavius, to make sure he doesn't completely ruin his reputation. Since it's become apparent that a character like Doctor Octopus doesn't have the personality to keep SM fans interested for thirty pages, Peter's has become a surrogate for decent dialogue, bemoaning Otto's decisions in his attempt to life the life of his former nemesis. To sum all that up, Peter Parker has become a secondary character in a Spider Man book, further proving that Slott, though handling a terrible paradigm shift in the Spiderverse as best he can, doesn't really understand the character he's writing.

Peter Parker is a great man hiding in the caricature of a "good guy." He could be anything he wants. He could be as much a scientific boon to the world as Tony Stark. He could be mayor of New York if he applied himself. But he can never truly be any of these things because he has to be Spider Man. He has to play the "good hearted yet irresponsible fool." In some ways, Peter Parker is the most noble character in the enter Marvel universe. In short, there's nothing redeeming or noble about giving your enemy a second chance in your last moments on Earth if you're just going walk around haunting him, whining about him hitting on your girlfriend.

Bottom Line: Dan Slott's doing the best he can with a terrible situation, but he needs to do better. 7 out of 10

....Because I Had to Talk About Man of Steel

So, I was contemplating how to properly resurrect this blog and a friend suggested I talk about the upcoming Superman film. I didn't want to add hype where there's already hype seeing as I'd be merely be a drop in the already considerable bucket that is Man of Steel. Then, I woke up this morning and saw this.....




....and had to get a post out before I proceed to faint from happiness. Now, I understand that trailers can be quite deceiving about the kind of film you're getting and have been known to disguise a bad movie (I'm looking at you, Jumper), but from the looks of it, this movie is giving me everything I needed out of a reboot.

1). James Marsden isn't in it.
2). Superman looks like he's actually going to punch a bad guy.
3). A look at Big Blue's view of humanity.
4). ZOD! (Yes, as in "Kneel Before...")
5). No hints of the stink Smallville left behind in it's wake.
6). James Marsden isn't in it.

Yeah, I'll camp out for this shit.

Justice League Movie: Outlook Not Good

For those of you who've asked me if I think there's going to be a Justice League movie anytime soon..... My Prediction: Maybe, but it won't happen anytime soon. Why, you ask?


-There's a big hole to dig themselves out of. Too many of DC's properties are tied with Warner Brothers in a way that leaves them just the indentured servants, working as consultants and whatnot.


-Even after they find a way out of that, they still have to start tying these characters together. Even if Christopher Nolan and Christian Bale wanted to do more Batman (which they don't), it's very unlikely that his gritty, semi-realistic style of storytelling would gel well enough that his Batman could exist in a larger superpowered community. Then again, Hawkeye exists in the Avengers, so you never know.


-The Superman franchise is still looking for forgivness. Don't get me wrong. I have complete faith in Zak Snyder's directing skills (despite wack ass Sucker Punch), but it's going to take a lot to get the taste of Superman Returns out of our mouths. You know...like maybe Superman could actually punch a bad guy at some point.


-Nobody really knows what the hell is happening with the Wonder Woman project. That makes three of your top characters that need a fresh reboot even though I don't think Batman and Superman need origin stories at this point. You would have to look far and wide for someone who doesn't know that Superman is from another planet and Batman's parents were killed when he was a kid.


-Even after you establish a contained cinematic universe for all these characters (I'd go with a Flash movie to start), it would take amnesia, an alien invasion and Oprah giving away coupons for massage parlor happy endings to make people forget that Green Lantern was easily one of the worse cinematic superhero experiences to occur in the past five years.

I'm not saying it won't ever happen, but it'll be five years at the very least!