You Know What We Stopped Doing?

We stopped trying to change minds. We live in a more polarized era than ever and that's completely understandable. Think about it. In the digital era, it's that much easier for us to classify one another, make data out of each other. "People that listen to...." and "people who visit 'these' websites". Now, I'm not saying this to make this one of those "google is Big Brother" posts. I say that because computers amplify our ability (and, really, obsession) to classify each other, but it also amplifies our ability to filter out those people.

You've seen it on your social media before. A hot button topic comes along that drives a canyon sized wedge between people. Let's take the stupid ass dress issue for example. You look at this dress and you see one color scheme, right. You look on your timeline and you see a certain minority of people that think the dress is a completely different color scheme, but most people you follow agree with you. You then get so tired of "them" being wrong, you start making posts saying that you're going to delete everyone off of your timeline that thinks the dress is that other color. Sure, now, you've filtered out the odd element and, yeah, you probably have a Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr/whatever you can agree with easier, but you're not the only one to do this. Now we have a whole sect of people off to themselves who will continue to believe that the dress is this certain color and will go on believing it no matter what science is involved in believing one thing or the other (And there is a science involved in seeing the dress one way or the other....and part of it is the way you tilt your goddamned computer screen, but still...). They will make Facebook groups and websites and magazines dedicated to people who think this one way. All of this is in the service of building a fence around themselves, but really, they're just finishing the one that you started. Now, instead of uninformed people (something that YOU can always fix if you want to), we have voluntarily stupid people. And we don't really need anymore stupid people. If you ask me, we're at capacity.

Sidenote: It's important that you understand I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT TROLLS. Trolls cannot be saved. Trolls don't want to be saved and they don't want to see anyone else be saved. Please delete the trolls.

We especially do this with celebrities. They say something we construe as racist or sexist or offensive and we write them off and drag them through the town square until they have to issue some public apology. I AM NOT DEFENDING these people, but part of having what you consider "the moral high ground is being able to discern those who misspeak or the "uninformed" from the "trolls". Anyone who has ever watched Girls knows it's pretty silly to be mad at anything Lena Dunham says. So, she said something problematic about black people? I'm convinced Lena Dunham only met her first black person somewhere in the window of "ten minutes ago." Death threats and sexist comments in the comment section of a Buzzfeed article are not educational. Because teaching someone to apologize is not the same thing as teaching them what they did wrong. Ask my parents about 31 years of marriage and this will be one the first things they say.

Now, when a public official...someone asking for the votes of the American people....says something problematic about black people? Sure, I'm mad about that and I'm going to vote accordingly because votes are one form of communication between the American people and their leaders. If you're my governor and I don't like your sentiments towards people with my skin color? I'll show you....by firing you and hiring the guy that spoke to my issues.

Again, if someone in the media or social media offended you, I'm not defending them. I repeat: I AM NOT DEFENDING THEM. But I AM asking if you're addressing them the right way for the good of everyone involved. Are you teaching someone something?

Aaron McGruder Isn't The Problem

I've never met Aaron McGruder, but I suspect he's a kindred spirit: a guy who doesn't really seek to offend, but questions whether he's doing his job well when he hasn't offended anyone. Of course, this is most evident by his crowning achievement, The Boondocks, the satirical saga of two inner city kids sent to live with their grandfather in the suburbs. The show was simply hilarious in its good moments and, in its greatest moments, turned on a floodlight aimed directly at Black America's laundry hamper, usually held steady by Huey Freeman, part Charlie Brown/part Eldridge Cleaver. The resulting feedback was mostly outstanding (except for the final season) but received choice words from the likes of Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and Tyler Perry.

Sharpton was offended by McGruder's "Return of the King" episode in which Martin Luther King Jr. returned to tell contemporary Black America to get its shit together in an epic dress down that rivals Alec Baldwin's speech in Glengary Glen Ross. Prior to his rant, Toon King had been labeled a traitor, accused of sympathizing with terrorism and even had his cause co-opted by top 20 mainstream radio. Dr. King was in marches that were met with hoses, dogs and violence....so this was a walk in the park when you think about it. Allegedly, he was put off by Fictional King's use of an "N" word my editor won't let me use over at Black Nerd Problems (because advertisers and shit). CartoonThatIsn'tActuallyMartin Luther King used the "N" word 16 times in an episode about the civil rights movement. Django Unchained, a movie about slavery, used the same word exactly 115 times. Oddly enough, there's been no comment from Sharpton.

Then, there was the time Tyler Perry and his disciples fans had a bone to pick with the show about some social commentary made in the show's third season. "Pause" was an episode in which Granddad auditioned for a stage play directed by Winston Jerome, a cross-dressing Perry analog who used Christianity as his own personal cult. Madea was less than pleased.

Since then, The Boondock's final season, sans McGruder, has been met with somewhat dismal reception from an audience who either left with the show's creator or stayed and decided the magic has gone.

And now, there's Black Jesus, a live action Adult Swim series about a slightly ratchet incarnation of Jesus Christ himself, living in Compton. I won't bother giving some detailed review because there's a perfectly good one at BNP already. As far as production quality goes, it's exactly what you would expect from the creators network that brought you Loiter Squad. The primetime satire isn't looking to be high brow humor by any stretch of the imagination. It's moderately funny and blatantly geared towards snatching up the laughter of post grad stoners. It's already garned some criticism of its premise and execution being somehow sacreligious and offensive although reviewers seem to get the joke. But let's be honest here. What's the problem? The obviously religious theme? When examined closely, the show is really more Pineapple Express than Dogma, so that can't be it. The language? The show isn't anymore vulgar than McGruder's previous work.

The Son of God spreading peace and love amongst the masses while his detractors and disbelievers wait in the wings to expedite his failure? Well, that happened in the "source material" so they can't possibly be mad about that. Jesus is also accompanied by friends who help him when they can, some of which don't have his best interest in mind and might occasionally co-opt him for their own purposes? Again, pretty close to the original so that probably isn't the issue. So, really, what's the whining about?

If you ask me (not that anyone did), the problem might be a little closer to home for McGruder's naysayers. Much like Boondocks' version of MLK, Black Jesus is the window, the fresh eyes we're asked to view our world and, specifically, ourselves. McGruder's satire, even in its lightest, punch pulling format, is the stranger on the street that hears your conversation and asks, "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" MLK was characterized as a man who never asked to be revered, but challenged those around him, black or white, to ascend to their better selves. The only thing truly offensive was the reception. Even then, is it THAT farfetched to think that, a crusader for social justice in the era of internet comment sections might be chastised, ridiculed, ignored and co-opted by mainstream America? In its thin moments of true social commentary (an athiest cop, an ornery landlord, agnostic gangbangers), Black Jesus isn't making fun of the Judeo-Christian faith or its lord and savior. More than anything, it's McGruder's chin check to those he perceives as paying lip service to their beliefs. McGruder uses prominent figures to make a point, but the point made in the end is rarely the result of the figure as much as it is through the figures' followers. Dr. King finally getting fed up, wondering if it was all worth it? Maybe, maybe not. Some of the people who claim to revere him turning everything he stood for into shameless self promotion and buffonery. That sounds about right (I'm looking at you, Jesse Jackson).

In the digital age, when the internet allows humans to view themselves through self-made avatars in place of taking a real look at themselves and calling "shenanigans," if you're mad at a television show for it's depiction of your "resolve"....if you're angrier about the person doing the pointing than you are at what he's pointing at, guess what? Black Jesus isn't the problem. Cartoon Martin Luther King isn't the problem. Aaron McGruder isn't the problem. You are.

Textbook Apology of An Awful Person

Originally Written on My Tumblr Blog.....

I’m sorry that (recipient of horrible thing) was hurt by (horrible thing made to sound completely innocuous) but (selfish ideology that doesn’t apply to recipient) which has led me to feel that in this life (rationale as to why horrible thing has to be done). Besides, (group of people that resemble recipient) only get hurt by these kind of situations because deep down (uneducated if not biased psychological analysis). 

Maybe if they didn’t hate themselves deep down, they might not have (passionate reaction to horrible thing). My life is better because of (selfish ideology) and that’s not a crime. 


I wish more people would see that (selfish ideology) is the way to go but I realize that not everyone (backhanded callback to selfish ideology) like me, so I recognize how (recipient of horrible thing) could be hurt by (horrible thing), so I will do better in the future to not (horrible thing) in the presence of (group that resembles recipient). I ask for their (not forgiveness) and understanding in this matter. Thank you.

My Bone to Pick with Jimmy Kimmel

So, the Rob Ford "interview" happened on Jimmy Kimmel Live this week and to say it was sleaze at its finest might be a vast understatement. And I'm not just talking about "Toronto's crack mayor" (Kimmel's own words from an earlier show, by the way). Granted, it's wasn't worse than Kimmel leaning into Leno that one time, but it still was pretty cringe worthy. He brought Ford on and showed him his, more or less, worst public moments (that we've all seen on YouTube by now) of the past year and made him twist in the wind explaining them (and by "explaining them," I mean "just sweating a lot") as he and the audience laughed on. Basically, it a comedic, condescending, kinda mean spirited version of The Trial of Rob Ford.

The Toronto denizens of Twitter were, bare minimum, less than amused. And, honestly, it's hard to hold it against them. I mean, by most accounts, as far as Canadian politics go, Ford is quite possibly The Worst , so let me make this clear that I'm NOT defending Rob Ford. Having said that....

Despite several instances of previously being hilarious in my book, in this case....Jimmy Kimmel is sort of a piece of shit.

It's one thing when someone like Newt Gingrich or Bill O'Reilly comes on the Daily Show. Jon Stewart makes no attempt to hide the fact that, despite being a comedian on a comedy themed network, he's a well read guy who knows his shit and likes to challenge the "logic" (or as close to logic as Newt Gingrich ever gets) of those he disagrees with. What happened on Monday night was akin capturing a bear in the wilderness, putting a dress on it and poking in the ass with a stick to lead it around a circus tent.

It was also very clear in more than one instance throughout the interview that Kimmel had invited him on under the guise of being a pal, wanting to redeem him (the jig was up when Ford turned out to be stupid to keep up the lie that he reached out to Kimmel) in the court of public opinion even though America is not Canada.

Now, on one hand...I can see the reasoning behind someone reading this post, wondering, "Who gives a shit?" I mean, it's Rob Ford. He's an awful person who earned the comedic tar 'n feathering in the town square he's getting and will likely continue to get for the remainder of his time in the public eye, right?

The only problem with this logic is that he's not just an awful person. He's an addict.

It's well documented that the majority of Ford's meandering through the various catacombs of his own stupidity have been fueled by, among other thing, alcohol, making it clear to most (including his own staff, several of which have resigned mumbling about how desperately he needs help) that he has serious substance abuse issues.

It's also well documented that Ford has an almost superhuman (or subhuman, depending on how you look at it) talent for slithering his way out of ever taking responsibility for anything. With that in mind, bringing him on late night talk for what amounted to Kimmel's rendition of a Daniel Tosh Web Redemption...is not any form of help, a beacon of social contempt or even a tap on the wrist. In other words, he was let off easy.

In the generation where amoral people get reality television shows and million dollar book deals for much less....it's a reward. It's a statement that says, with flashing neon lights, "As long as you're destroying yourself where we can see you and laugh, our amusement is a suitable currency with which you can barter for our silence." After all, we wouldn't want the guy to feel like maybe he should have to do something revolutionary like fix himself, right?

Society deserves better. Toronto deserves better.

Jimmy Kimmel is a piece of shit because maybe he isn't the drug dealer, but he's definitely the dickbag driving the addict to the drug deal in exchange for gas money.

God is NOT a Mascot....

      In the aftermath of Rick Perry's Christapalooza over the weekend, it's become official (though argubly it's been this way in Texas for years). The name "God" has taken a seat with the pantheon of brand names such as Nike, Twitter and Ed Hardy. The minds of the unwashed masses are being fashioned into contortionist marionettes to be bent and folded to fit into ideological boxes labeled "Jesus" on the outside while the insides look like voting booths. We tape our own eyelids open as we are led through neverending halls of scripture laced rhetoric until we are supposed to believe that huddling together in a football stadium where "men of God" who wear racism as undershirts and masturbate to pictures of beaten homosexuals and burning Qurans convince us that the solutions to the problems of the day are found once we fall to our knees, lower our heads in silent prayer. Silence is never the solution. In fact, silence is an accomplice to the problem. Let me rephrase: YOUR silence is an accomplice to the problem.

                According to the University Star, tuition between 2003 and 2008 rose 51 percent. "Well, damn, Oz!!! How did that happen??" Glad you asked. Pastor/Governor Perry supported a bill to deregulate tuition at public universities in Texas so that schools like U of H can charge whatever they think a U of H education is worth. That way, they can pay for all sorts of unnecessary accoutrement such as an on campus Chili's, a karate dojo and an on campus sex shop (or was that one of their frat houses? I can't tell the difference...). Texas colleges have become corporations because of an asshole that you didn't have the good sense to vote out of office. And a bible won't solve that problem; civic awareness does. And THAT isn't in the Good Book, either. It's in a damn newspaper. It's frivolous, thinly veiled political stunts like prayer rallies that bring me to the inevitable conclusion that in America, God is not a deity, he is a mascot, another entity to wrap in the American flag as if Jesus has a tattoo on his ass that reads "Made in America."

                 The real irony behind Perry's prayer meeting, pretentiously titled, "The Response," is that it's not really a response if your greedy, narrow minded activity is what's causing all the questions. It's just called "cleaning up your mess" and it's going to take more than getting your mother's bridge club together in Reliant Stadium to sing "My God is An Awesome God." It's going to take people like me and you to turn off Love and Hip Hop for a few minutes to get up and hold this asshole accountable.  Email, snail mail the representatives of your districts. Let them know you're watching them. And not just Perry, but the "leaders" of your religious communities, the ones stealing your money and using million dollar helicopters as their getaway cars, the ones standing outside of abortion clinics while sweeping their illegitimate children under the rugs, the ones camped out at soldiers funerals with signs that read "God Hates Fags" while going home to face-fuck your daughters and blow your sons. God is your hearts, not in the words of hypocrites and businessmen on government pensions, but then again, I could be wrong.