Making the Case for Spider Verse....

It has come to my attention that some of you Spider-Man fans out there are not reading Spider Verse. I am encouraging those people to break themselves of this habit immediately. Now, I know SM fans (myself being one of them) tend to be divisive in their ideas of what makes a quality Spider-Man story, but I encourage you to give this one a shot no matter what side of the fence you're on.

1). Nostalgic Value: Every other beat calls back to the fun ridiculousness of the 90s animated series. As a matter of fact, the plot itself calls back to the final episodes of the series where Spider-Man had been chosen to lead an army of Spider-Men against (I shit you not) Spider-Carnage. Oh, it was delightfully silly. Basically, Peter was the only Spider-Man with enough compassion and caring for his fellow man to realize that all Spider-Carnage needed was to see Uncle Ben again and he would give up trying to destroy all of creation. I'm not kidding, by the way. Peter went and got Uncle Ben from another dimension and defeated Carnage with Love. Granted, Spider Verse deals with a far more vicious bad guy from the JMS era of Amazing Spider Man, but yeah, it's a lot of fun.

2). Dan Slott: He's quickly becoming the guy who takes a premise that should be really stupid and making it work because of the unique voice he brings to the project. Last year, I was at the head of the "Superior Spider Man Sucks" Chorus, going off about how it was a travesty and how Marvel was out of ideas blah blah blah, but the second half of the series (that dealt mainly with the war of the Goblins and Norman Osborn basically tearing down New York) really turned things around in showing that shit goes wrong when Peter Parker isn't Spider Man. If Slott can change MY mind, he can change anyone's mind.


3). The Art: Oliver Copiel is at the absolute top of his game here. Shut up and look at this gorgeous panels!

4). The Themes: The thing I personally find to be the most interesting that didn't happen in the animated series (see #1) is that instead of power and responsibility being the thing that makes 616 Peter so special, it's the thing that links all the Spiders together. It's their nature. It essentially MAKES them Spiders in the same way willpower and fearlessness makes Hal Jordan a Green Lantern. Their foes, the Inheritors basically have everything they have because they took it by force because they could. Even their name "Inheritors" implies that power is something they're supposed to have just because. "Might makes right" is their nature.

5). It's the best event Marvel's had in a while: I loved Infinity and ever since, Marvel's crossovers and tie-ins (except the Trial of Jean Grey) have been pretty questionable. X-Men's Battle of the Atom was awesome and so many things to love right up until you figured out it had absolutely no point. Original Sin is probably the WORST crossover event I've ever read. There were eight issues and at least three of them were a bunch of superheroes standing in a room either a). listening to a story or b). responding to the story they just heard. And Avengers/X-Men: Axis is a traveshmockery. My editor over at Black Nerd Problems, Will Evans and I split review duties on this book and every time it comes up on the assignment list, we both cringe like it's our turn to mow the lawn. Spider Verse takes place away from any other happenings in the Marvel Universe and so it doesn't suffer from too many shoehorned personalities that the story doesn't need unlike Axis and its Deadpool fetish.

Spider Verse isn't just another event. It's not even just The Best Event Marvel Has Right Now. So far, at least as far as the 21st century is concerned (showing much respect to the greats like Stan Lee, Steve Ditko and so forth in the 20th century), this book makes the case for Spider-Man. I can't speak for All Fans Everywhere, but that's why I think Spider Verse at least deserves a shot from anyone who fancies themselves a fan. Then again, I could be wrong.

No, I'm NOT Calling The Flash and Arrow "Flarrow"......

So, this week was the big two night "Flash vs. Arrow" crossover event and despite my mild skepticism (a "versus" scenario would have been a bit more plausible a few weeks ago before Barry did Mach One to put Not-Quite-Colossus on his ass), it was actually much better than I expected. One thing it did very well was establish a clear tone for each respective show in this one universe. And love or hate them, you can at least say that these two shows know exactly what kind of shows they want to be. You've got a shitshow like Gotham that has virtually no identity and, at the same time, EVERY identity. Sometimes, it wants to be a by-the-book procedural cop drama set in a famous fictional city. Every once in a while, it's a Batman prequel when it needs to bring back viewers. Other times, it wants to be Boardwalk Empire set in a famous fictional city. Some days, it's Rise of the Penguin. And sometimes, as evident by the many larval stages of Jada Pinkett Smith's wig, it wants to be a Bronner Bros. hair show in Atlanta. Arrow, makes a very clear statement in almost every scene that it's a primetime Batman surrogate. The Flash is obviously meant to be a Superman replacement (because we will NOT see Superman on primetime television again for a while; Thanks for nothing, Smallville), far more hopeful and cartoonishly optimistic than his gritty counterpart. It's actually the kind of dynamic I hope will take place in Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice (despite Henry Cavil's sad eyes). DC gets a lot of crap for being so slow to the starter blocks in competing with Marvel's unstoppable engine of movies, but as far as TV goes, they know how to sell a product. Then again, I could be wrong.

So...Whatever Happened to Elseworlds?

"I'm just saying, guys, Cap never has to
chase naked people."

So, this week, the big announcement went out that Marvel would be doing a major crossover with Attack on Titan. No, I'm not kidding. The "female" Titan from the series will be attacking New York City so it'll be up to the superhero citizens (of which there are many) to stop it before it...umm...kills people, I guess. At first my reaction was, "Okay, but why?" Did anyone ask for this? I mean, I knew Attack on Titan was really popular, but I didn't know it had reached Random 90s Style Crossover Status. I also didn't realize that Marvel was moving so fast towards Total Media Saturation (imagine that I said that in my Spock voice). But then, the real question occurred to me: Why isn't DC doing this?

I mean, I can't be the only person who remembers when this kind of shit was their bread and butter. DC Elseworlds has been around for decades (and yes, I'm counting the years before it was an official imprint) in one way or another, always making a much bigger splash than Marvel's What If? stories even though, to be fair, that's really an apples/oranges comparison (What If stems from an existing place in Marvel's canon where Elseworlds stories exist in a whole different universe). And there are plenty of notable cases where, although they're not considered canon in the main DC Universe, some Elseworlds stories are still considered gospel among fans. Despite their failed attempts to fold it into the existing timeline, Kingdom Come is STILL hailed by many (including myself) as one of the greatest Superman stories of all time.

The Dark Knight Returns, though it is STILL not counted as Elseworlds for some reason (I suspect DC is still looking for an opening to make this fit within the main timeline), is the source for a lot of how we view Batman today. The story planted the seeds necessary for Tim Burton and Anton Furst to take Batman out of the '66 Adam West version pop culture had known him for and into the gritty, gothic wonderland we know him and Gotham for now.

With all that said, it's really weird that DC doesn't seem to put a whole lot of effort into Elseworlds. Now, I can understand not seeing anymore of the company crossovers (remember the mid/late 90s when it looked like Marvel and DC might pretend to get along?) since it is entirely likely that DC has burned so many bridges with their "Conquer or Copy" initiative that Marvel or any other self respecting major publisher would rather sell their left testicles to One Direction before ever working with them. But playing around with their characters (usually Batman and Superman), giving readers exciting alternatives within their own company is one of those perks that made DC itself that much more fun. In the era of the New 52, not having that around anymore leaves them feeling sort of rigid....which seems to be the one problem DC never seems to have ANY interest in fixing.

I get that alternate universes can make it confusing when you're trying to invite new readers in from the movie theaters (even though the New 52 is now up three different Earths and an ongoing Grant Morrison series about parallel dimensions). I even get that DC's trying to align their movies and their comics to a point where the graphic novels are just movie companions. I would, however, feel a little better about it if they could at least pretend they were doing more than streamlining their brand for the sake of blatant cash grabs. Then again, I could be wrong.

Anatomy of a Comic: So You Wanna Write A Shitty Crossover Event.... Part 2

Well, Original Sin wrapped up last week and I was sure bringing this event to a close would iron out the overt problems throughout the plot. If anything, it seemed to either a). create new problems or b). worsen the old ones. Mike Deodato is still The Thing This Book Has Going For It, but other than that, it was basically a hot mess.

He's got the last Pumpkin Spice scone! Rush him!

Once again, starting with the cover.....

I cannot stress this enough, but EVERY aspect of the cover should be indicative of what's happening in the comic especially when it's as "OhMyGodThisIsEpic" as Marvel would have you believe it is. Having said that, of the seven notable Marvel characters on this cover, only three of them are actually found in this book. No Captain Marvel, No Daredevil, No Iron Fist, No Mister Fantastic. You can't even say it's an huge exaggeration of something happening in the comic. It's just plain lying. One good example of a well done, symbolic cover (even though I got some shit from a few of you guys for using this example last time) is Identity Crisis.

Here you've got the Justice League which, at this time in the DC universe, was always characterized very much as a family. Everything about this picture conveys a very familial vibe. The broken picture is obviously representing the tragedies and breaches of trust that leave this family broken and divided.

Or if you want to make the comparison against another Marvel event, take Civil War.

Aside from the time honored trope of defeated heroes sprawled across a mount of rubble, it doesn't get much more literal than this. Captain America
and Iron Man, two generals on opposite ends of a major conflict, finally come head to head and beat the unholy hell out of one another. Simple. No hyperbole necessary.

But going back to the Original Sin cover, it says across the bottom "The Final Judgment." What the fuck does that mean? Anyone? Are the Watchers pointing down supposed to be the judges in this case? The Watchers aren't judges. They're Watchers....who just watch stuff. Their whole job description is the antithesis of judging. So, seriously....who's being judged and how? I shouldn't be asking MORE questions going into an event's finale.

And, holy shit, did this book ever leave the audience asking questions. For example....

"Take him apart. So I may drink his blood and consume his knowledge, one bite at a time."

Umm....what? This was the whole problem with Dr. Midas as a villain. Everything was so vague and unexplained. What occurred in this entire series that would lead him to believe that eating a corpse would make him all powerful?

Why have the Watcher's eyes suddenly turned murderous? Does this mean the Watcher's body parts can work independently of one another after he's dead? Is the Watcher a Castlevania villain? What the fucking fuck?

Now, it's a rarity that I would actively shit on the usually immaculate artwork of Mike Deodato, but he screwed the pooch a couple of times here. First of all, this is Black Panther, Dr. Strange and the rest of the heroes who teamed up (for some reason) busting in to fight...umm....someone.

Now, here's Black Panther and Dr. Strange at the end of the book in full outer space gear. Huh?

Also, if you look closely, here's Thor with his hammer firmly in hand. But wait a minute....in issue 7, Nick Fury whispered something to Thor that made him suddenly unworthy to hold the hammer. Now, he's totally holding the hammer.

And now later as the heroes are all leaving, Thor is left back where he was in the last issue trying to pick his hammer up. Shenanigans.

And when exactly did it get decided that Bucky was the new "Man on the Wall"? Did Fury choose him? When did he choose him exactly? The last thing he ever said to Bucky was "Get everyone back." You can't even dismiss that as saying it was unspoken tough guy talk and "he just knew."

Or this. So, Dr. Midas' severed hand turned the snake to gold when he bit it, but not the Exterminatrix (man, villains are really exhausting the shit out of the Big Book of Bad Guy Names) when she stole it? What?

Granted, I'm not saying there shouldn't be room to leave elements as "implied" in a story. But in an event like this where much of your story is extremely contained and doesn't need tie-ins to explain every fringe element (which is something that Marvel has been really good about in recent years)....it's okay to hold your reader's hand just a little bit. And inevitably, the fallacies here will laid at another writer's doorstep to explain how exactly Bucky became The Man on the Wall or who this new Watcher (I'm guessing that's who the glowing old man at the end is supposed to be) is. DC was really bad about this shit last year with Trinity War turning into a promo that basically forced you to buy Justice League and Forever Evil (which, to be fair, was pretty good) just to understand what happened in a 6 or 7 issue miniseries. 

Making someone interested enough in your characters to buy more comics is what a good comic should do. Insisting upon your reader buying comics to properly understand the vague collision of words and images that took place in another comic borderlines on extortion.

Anatomy of a Comic: So You Wanna Write a Shitty Crossover Event.....

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

Okay, so usually, if it comes down to the Big Two, I commonly prefer Marvel crossover events to DC's. Usually, even when they're not great, they're fun reads for the moment (absolutely excluding Age of Ultron). Original Sin is trying, but it's not succeeding. In fact, I will go as far as saying that it is indeed failing. Mike Deodato's artwork is probably the one prevailing awesome is this series, but as far as plot and marketing, I don't understand what this book is going for. It's been a very schizophrenic title thus far. Sometimes, it's a murder mystery....and then it's 28 pages of characters not liking each other....then it's The Secret History of the Secret History of Nick Fury. There's one more issue to go and I still don't understand the point of this book.

-The first problem with this week's issue? The cover:

Daredevil is on this cover....but Daredevil is NOT IN THIS BOOK! He's really not even very involved in the Original Sin event at all with the exception of the big scene where everyone's secrets get revealed or something. It's not even as if it's some kind of quirky "Deadpool Is On Every Cover This Month Because It's Quirky But It's Really Obnoxious" kind of thing. He's just on the cover....for some reason. In a crossover event, every single aspect of the cover (or, really any comic) should be symbolic of or selling you on something taking place IN the book.

-This issue spent a lot of time in flashbacks to tell us that The Orb, Exterminatrix and Dr. Midas are the bad guys in this book. This would be awesome....if we hadn't already known they were the bad guys in this book since the second issue. In fact, was their being in this book at all wasn't very exciting. I mean, Dr. Midas turning things to gold was kinda cool but other than that, these are NOT memorable characters by any stretch of the imagination. In a crossover title, even a shitty character should stick with you. With the right writer, even a stopped clock can be right twice a day. Take DC's Identity Crisis, for example.....

Dr. Light is, for the most part, a shitty villain (I can't possibly be the only person who thinks of Mega Man when I hear his name) and was largely a plot device to facilitate this faction of the Justice League crossing the line in dealing with him, but he's still memorable. He was set up properly without having to involve him in a tie-in somewhere else. His attack on Sue Dibny didn't exactly feel forced (though, to this day, I don't agree it should have gone that far). This is how you create a memorable moment for a bad guy in a big event even when your bad guy sucks.

-So, this big fight with Nick Fury....Aside from Thor, Falcon and Iron Man, should the Avengers be able to maneuver so well in zero gravity?

-Has anyone else noticed that Moon Knight isn't very....Moon Knight-ish? Don't get me wrong. I understand that big companies like Marvel aren't always some well oiled machine between creative talent so, yeah, I get that one hand doesn't usually know what the other hand's doing. But when you have such a memorable incarnation of Moon Knight as the one Warren Ellis has left us with (Brian Wood's got a hell of a challenge following him up), you usually want to incorporate at least SOME pieces of that version in a high profile crossover title.

Come on. Look at this boss!!!

Imagine this guy, Mr. Knight standing in the presence of all these heroes in an all while business suit taking cues from the vengeance god Khonshu (think Norman Osborn in Dark Avengers hearing "the Goblin"). Now, that would make for an interesting addition to this mix of this unlikely (if you don't consider that a lot of either have a movie or are going to have one) cast of characters. Speaking of which....

-This makes (correct me if I'm wrong) the fourth issue where at least half of this large cast is just standing around in a room not liking each other and not understanding what's going on although, in their defense, neither do I. You could have possibly gotten away with this when it was Nick Fury explaining that he's a Secret Guy Whose Secret Is That He Has Secrets, but come on. I mean, you've got guys like the world's best mass murderer (Punisher), space renegades (Gamora and Rocket Raccoon), a super spy type (Winter Soldier) and a guy whose specialty is shrinking small enough to remain out of sight. No way would they have a big fight with Nick Fury robots, be seen with Nick Fury who, for right now, looks like The Bad Guy, not help the Avengers.....and just stay at the scene of the fight, talking.

In a crossover event with a cast this big that affects the rest of your universe, it's okay to move around a little bit. DC's 52 was a good exercise in this point. Granted, I acknowledge that they had a LOT more issues to execute this with, but every aspect of the ongoing story had time to breathe and get its proper development. Much like Game of Thrones, the story was never in a hurry to get back to one thing or the other.

-Did Nick Fury say "goodbye" to Captain America and fly away with the Watcher's eyes just to go to the moonbase....which is basically a few miles from the goddamned space station? Where he knocked Thor (who, despite not having his hammer, is still really strong and pissed off) and the Hulk to? What the fucking fuck?

-It's the 7th issue in an 8 issue series and I'm still not sure what the point of any of this is. In a crossover event, your purpose should be laid out clearly early on. Hell, it should be the reason we pick up the first issue. Civil War...superheroes fighting over the morality of government oversight in superheroism. Secret Invasion....nobody trusts anyone during an alien invasion. Siege....deposing a villain who wants to be a dictator. Original Sin....umm....ummm.....

Of course, the point of this could very well also just stop at "Because It's Crossover Event Season" too. That's a possibility.