The Week In Geek 4/20/16

So, This Week In Excuses to Move On From Batman v Superman.....It's recently been announced that Marvel/Disney's Inhumans movie, previously scheduled for a July 2019 release, no longer has a release date. That's not to say that it's no longer on the schedule but usually when things like this happen, it's because the studio has to make room for an impending franchise (**cough** Spider Man) because his appearance in the previews for a certain upcoming film (**cough** Civil War) has tested well thus far, so it's probably a good thing that they're staying flexible with this Marvel Cinematic Universe. After all, they should probably have time to rethink whatever they had in mind for the film since Agents of SHIELD has spent the past two seasons mining the whole Inhumans thing with their Secret Warriors plotline (which has successfully reinvigorated the show with a new sense of identity).

Also, there's the whole rumor that Marvel might be coming to an mutual X-Men deal with Fox to use them....but I don't believe that shit just yet, so we'll move on.

This Week in Superhero Television.....It turns out there is a script in the can for Krypton, a Gotham style Superman prequel show. Apparently, the pilot is set two generations before Krypton's destruction where Superman's grandfather tries to bring honor back to the House of El. Here's why this is stupid. Why the FUCK are we doing a show about a planet we KNOW is going to die. I mean, we actually know how this is going to end. There are literally NO STAKES involved. Now, there is a chance that they could take this in a psuedo-Game of Thrones direction where upper crust Kryptonians wrestle for political and military power, which would wipe away the time honored "We were a peaceful, technologically advanced and unilaterally boring as fuck civilization that basically sets the stage to let our future protagonist grow up with abandonment issues" approach we've seen for God knows how long. However, this premise as is has the same problem Gotham has: primetime superhero television's compulsive need to appeal to the Lowest Common Denominator viewer that will be perfect happy just to name drop popular names from the comics wherever possible (which, in a show two generations before anything relatively Superman happens, consists exclusively of Zod, Jor-El and maybe Brainiac depending on what version you're going with). And sure, Titanic took place in an ill fated setting too and it made tons of money, but this is primetime (probably broadcast basic cable at best) television so it's highly doubtful that any network that falls under that umbrella is willing to shell out that level of production quality to a show about Superman's grandfather. So, we'll see.

My comic reviews for the week on Tokyo Ghost, The Mighty Thor and Superman: American Alien are up and available on Black Nerd Problems for your viewing pleasure.

And don't forget about my the latest page of my comic collaboration with Katie Coats, Neverland: The Untold. As always feel free to like, share and comment at your leisure. You know the drill.

The Problem With Fanboys: Batman v Superman Edition

So, the reviews are for Batman v Superman and at this point, I think we're far enough away from the release to say the overall response is somewhat mixed (which is mainly considered bad for a movie that made no bones about putting all of its eggs firmly in one basket. The most entertaining aspect so far has been the backlash to the backlash. As someone that wanted this film to be good enough to rival Marvel or at least show the potential to do so, it is hilarious to watch DC fans who bet the farm on Dawn of Justice do backflips to defend it at its most indefensible moments. 

Serioiusly, guys, it's come down to people claiming that people hating it because of their "Marvel bias" is what has caused the movie to tank. The argument is that fans are being hyper critical of plotholes that they would have let pass in a Marvel movie. Now, that could be so. After all, plenty of good movies have inconsistencies. The problem is that Batman v Superman doesn't do itself any favors. See, plotholes can be overlooked if the movie manages to be entertaining and effective in other aspects. For example, if Robert Downey Jr. is entertaining enough, it's easy to forget about some instances in The Avengers movies when logic falls apart. Now, multiply that factor times Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Joss Whedon's sarcastic self aware script (in the first movie, at least), the occasional Don Cheadle "BOOM, you looking for this?" joke, etc. It's drinking Jack and Coke; you coating something arguably hard to swallow with something that is decidedly less hard to swallow. To call Batman v Superman hard to swallow would be a vast understatement. And it's not just because sad sack ass Movieverse Superman is like the superhero version of Eyeore from Winnie the Pooh or because Batman (despite being awesome) was a walking Call of Duty killstreak or because parts of the movie require the lead characters (one of which is the World's Greatest Detective) to be utterly stupid for the barely discernible plot to make sense. It's the fact that all of these put together amount to Zack Snyder's blatant disdain for his audience. He was so obviously salty about having to tone it down and being unable to do new Superman murder, he devoted the opening to a ground level, 9/11 view of the old Superman murder. This isn't even speculation because Snyder has been trying to justify himself since Man of Steel, saying weird shit like superheroes murdering are okay as long as they don't murder as much as the First Order from The Force Awakens (for those of who didn't see The Force Awakens, Zack Snyder compared the two most popular superheroes in human history to an empire of evil space nazis capable of destroying star systems. That his benchmark for good guy murder, y'all.

Marvel has demonstrated at least some regard for doing what they believe the fans want. Even when you have to eat your vegetables (Thor 2), you're offered some dessert (Guardians of the Galaxy) when you finish them. Dawn of Justice is an marginally edible block of instant microwaveable meat loaf and Zack Snyder is the barely attentive nanny who just wants you to shut the fuck up and finish your dinner while he eats your dessert right in front of you. There's a scene where Holly Hunter looks terrified at the sight of a jar of human urine, a callback to Lex Luthor's metaphor about pissing on someone and telling them it's Granny's Peach Tea. First off, the idea of a superhero movie that features a giant jar of piss is, in itself, beyond the pale. Second, it's actually a very apt metaphor for the movie and the director's relationship with it and the viewership. Batman v Superman is two hours of piss and Zack Snyder hates you for not having the imagination to pretend it's peach tea as you choke it down. So, there's that.

Don't forget to check out my Black Nerd Problems comic review of Invincible Iron Man. Feel free to like, review, and comment as you see fit.

We Need to Talk About Batman v Superman

***MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD!!! THEY'RE MINOR BUT STILL***

So, I finally got around to heading to the movie theater to check out Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and umm....yeah, we need to talk about that.

The movie wasn't that bad, but it also wasn't that good. It looked fantastic. Zack Snyder knows how to create truly legendary looking moments in a way that pulls directly from comic book aesthetic. The problem is that as much as Snyder looks to the artform visually, he doesn't show that much respect for the stories structurally. Most of the actors were perfectly fine in their roles (except Jesse Eisenberg, who I'm convinced thought he was playing the Riddler), doing their very best with this Bernie Sanders hairdo of a script. Amazingly enough, Ben Affleck, who everyone was so worried about, was an awesome Batman. The issue wasn't really the cast, it was the fact that the creative team doesn't really understand the characters they're working with. In fact, I can see how Gal Gadot's Wonder Woman has been lauded by critics since she was the one character that Snyder fucked up the absolute least.  

A lot of the fanboys are on the whole "Batman doesn't kill" thing which we have to accept is bullshit and has always been bullshit in the context of Batman films. My issue is Batman and guns. To Batman...at least since the silver age, guns have always been a symbol of the crime that plagues his city and the thing that took his parents. In many ways, it's borders on a post traumatic experience for him. Dream or not, the visual of him gunning down flunkies is a little weird. Other than that, Affleck pulls off the duality of Bruce and Batman. Bruce Wayne is a damaged old man whose childhood night terrors conjure the Batman, an vengeful armored man-golem who drops down on superstitious villains like the Righteous Hand of God.

The plotline that worries me the most is this "People are scared of Superman" premise. If you're writing a story about how people are scared of Superman, you don't really understand the point of Superman. We're talking about a character who, despite being an alien, is the absolute pinnacle of human goodness. He's a beacon of hope. Hell, "hope" is literally written in a big red symbol on his chest. Superman inspires people to be their better selves. He loves humanity, sees the best in us even when we don't see it ourselves. The guy they have Henry Cavill playing has sad eyes all the time, is almost resentful of humanity (probably because his mother reinforces the antithesis of his father's idea that he owes his gifts to the world..."You don't owe this world a thing"....what the fuck kind of thing is that to say to a superhero?). The fucked up thing is that even with Snyder's Superman being tattooed with all these blantant misnomers and misunderstandings of the character, he still has to fight Batman for a plotline and some decent character development to call his own. In that regard, this movie is quite true to its title. Having said that, it's pretty obvious that Snyder is setting Batman up to be the leader of the impending Justice League which is also bullshit. Why the FUCK would a guy who commonly hides in the shadows, only comes out at night and employs fear and deception as his weapons want to lead what is almost certain to be the most visible, flashy group of peacekeepers their world will ever know?

I mean...what happened to this guy?

And I haven't even gotten to the ENDLESS plotholes left gaping wide by Snyder's compulsive need to have his characters positioned perfectly to play out the pretty scene he wants to see like a six year old setting up action figures in a playset just to bang them together and scream "BOOM" repeatedly. I think that's what I resent most about this movie: It reinforces the idea that just because they come from comics, all these sort of movies have to be is loud and obnoxious with heroes that aren't particularly heroic like Transformers. But in all likelihood, that's going to be this franchise's bread and butter if Dawn of Justice is the measuring stick.