Stuff I Read This Week Episode 33 or I'd Rather Be Trapped Underwater With Evil Mermaids Than Kris Jenner

Harley Quinn #0: Harley Quinn has enjoyed a reasonable amount of time in the spotlight since the "New 52" reboot even if the titles she's featured in have had somewhat mixed reviews. It was only a matter of time before DC took a crack at a solo title. This was a tough book to review because, honestly, at first read, you're not entirely sure what kind of book it's supposed to be. Commonly a zero issue for any book serves as either a prequel for the first story arc or one shot primer to give you a taste of what to expect from a series as far as tone and art. Jimmy Palmotti and Amanda Conner take a slightly different tact.

By "slightly different tact", I mean, they seemed to make the Clown Princess of Crime....into Deadpool. For the most part Harley spends most of her time breaking the fourth wall interacting with the writers in a daydream about what it would be like to have her own comic book. She travels from one page to the next auditioning a Who's Who of artists to see whose style would best suit her. I found a few of the jokes funny but mainly because I'm familiar with most of the artists. The overabundance of inside jokes doesn't make this terribly accessible for incoming readers and the uninitiated. Despite this, it still makes for a mainly entertaining farce.

The artwork, given that it's a pretty star studded cast working on each page is pretty "alphabet soup" but mostly awesome. My particular favorites are Dan Panosian and Charlie Adlard. I was really looking forward to Jim Lee's page but that ended up being a bit of a bubble burst since he just rehashed a page from Hush. Also included is a page from fan contest winner Jeremy Roberts. Although "Draw Harley Quinn killing herself" contest was easily one of DC's dumbest ideas all year, Roberts can draw his ass off. I'd be very excited to see him on this book on a regular basis. Still, Chad Hardin, who illustrates the final page, does a pretty good job of capturing Harley's brand of crazy and I'll be looking forward to seeing what he has to offer.

Bottom Line: Not much plot but it's still fun and well rendered enough that it's a fun little primer for the series. 7.5 out of 10.



The Wake #5: Well, we've reached the halfway mark of what could quite possibly be the "holy shit" survival horror series of the year and it has been quite a story thus far. Quiet as kept, this has been one of the most consistently entertaining and good looking books in the business right now. Scott Snyder's taut tale of Dr. Lee Archer's crew and their fight to survive evil mermaid creatures at the bottom of the ocean has been an utterly compelling thrill ride that EVERYONE should be reading. Having said that, with this issue, Snyder wants you to know that the story begins now. Did you hear what I just said? A claustrophobic, horrifying tale about evil mermaids in the darkest parts of the sea....and Snyder is just getting started?

This issue deals largely with the revelation of what these monsters are, what they want and Dr. Archer's connection to them. The action beats are really well thought out and make for pretty good adventuring, but Snyder is at his best, as usual, during the claustrophobic moments when you feel trapped in dark corners with these poor bastards down below. It's almost as scary as being Kris and Bruce Jenner being trapped with each other's ever changing faces, not knowing what they're going to wake up to the next morning. Almost. Of course, Snyder can't take all the credit for the creepiest part of this book. There's also Sean Murphy's pencils, which capture some utterly maudlin moments like one character alone in the darkness with nothing but the light from a video screen.

Bottom Line: If you're not reading this book already, start. Start now. Immediately. Stop reading this blog, turn off the television, get dressed, tell your girlfriend you'll be right back and go get the past five issues of The Wake. Do it. Do it now. It's your homework assignment. It's your one job right now. Seriously. 9.5 out of 10.

Stuff I Read This Week Episode 21 or Ridley Scott Should Buy Us All Comics As An Apology For Prometheus....

The Wake #3: This is quickly becoming one of my favorite books to pick up because it does sci-fi horror better than a lot of sci fi horror films (I'm looking at you, Prometheus AKA The Dumbest Scientists in the Universe). With the right writer, it's pretty hard to fuck up an "scientists trapped underwater with a killer sea creature" concept. There are ten issues in this series, it's issue three and we've already entered the "Holy Shit" phase of the story.

The evil-mermaid-sea monster-thing has gotten loose to the surprise of no one and has Dr. Lee Archer and the rest of her crew on the run. The strongest aspect of this book gets much stronger as the spotlight is placed heavily on the claustrophobic tension of this quickly escalating situation, reminiscent of Alien (as I mentioned in the first issue's review). Archer's survival meets sympathy attitude makes for an enjoyable female lead, but the MVP award for this issue has to go to the prize hunter, Meeks. Anyone who was a fan of Robert Shaw's character in Jaws will get a kick out of Meeks' "fuck yeah" moment here. There's a little more exposition in this issue than you would normally want out of a story like this, but yet again, Scott Snyder manages to keep the book moving while maintaining tension. Sean Murphy's attention to detail only gets better as the series goes on. Mix that with Matt Hollingsworth's coloring and you have one of the most consistently gorgeous books running right now. Every moment on most panel turns you into an asshole movie goer, virtually screaming at every page, "Oh my God...GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE!!!!"

Bottom Line: This book is going from good to great in no time at all. Shit is getting creepy really quick. This is what you should be setting your calendar for each month. 9.5 out of 10

Guardians of the Galaxy #5: Okay, in a way, this book has double duty. In addition to the pressure for it not to suck because it's going to be a movie pretty soon, it also has to successfully shove Angela, Spawn's angel girlfriend (or whatever) down our throats. Fortunately, it has succeeded on both counts so far.

Since they've been in space doing space shit, The Guardians don't know that time and space have become slightly unglued because people on Earth keep fucking with it and there's no such thing as Doctor Who in Marvel continuity. Basically, this issue sees our heroes catching up with the major events going on in the rest of the universe which is a strength and a weakness. If you didn't read Age of Ultron (which you really shouldn't unless you're trapped in line at the DMV), you're not going to have any idea why any of this is happening. Brian Bendis actually wrote Age of Ultron and I'm convinced that HE doesn't even know what happened. Nonetheless, he seems to have plenty of fun with his characters leading up to the confrontation advertised on the cover which, by the way, was satisfying enough. The addition of Iron Man to the team has been a welcome one thus far. It was a good idea to have a more familiar mainstream hero be our guide through the rules and pitfalls of Marvel's galactic continuity, someone we can discover (or for more seasoned readers, rediscover) comic book outer space with. Bendis has really succeeded in giving these characters distinctive voices that manage to make you laugh and make you slightly uncomfortable at times as good characters should while still driving the plot forward this time around. Sara Pichelli's artwork serves its purpose well enough, but I really wish she wouldn't leave the backgrounds so lifeless during close-ups. It makes some of the more serious moments a bit cartoonish like something I would expect from Deadpool.

Bottom Line: Even if you're not up to date on current events in the Marvel U, this is a good book in a good series serving as a crash course for the developing movie event. 8 out of 10.

Uncanny X-Men #9: Well, I'm really glad this book has picked up speed again. The whole "X-Men vs Hell" story had me a little worried, but Bendis has managed to get back to what readers seems to like about this title: Outlaw X-Men versus S.H.I.E.L.D. Continuing where we left off last issue, we're reintroduced to long time X-Man and former disco performer (No, I'm not kidding), Dazzler working for Maria Hill and being a lot less perky than the heroine we're used to. I'm interested to see whether or not Brian Bendis will elaborate on what's happened since we last saw her that would bring her to the government's doorstep for a makeover into, as Cyclops called her, the "Uncle Tom of mutants." She doesn't seem to be a completely treacherous character here, but considering her treatment of underage detainees, it's easy to see where both sides are coming from. Bendis does what Bendis does best here: characterization. Scott Summers' young recruits find a little more of an identity in this book. We especially get a nice "coming of age" moment here with the Stepford Sisters discovering togetherness in their budding individualities. It's very refreshing to have such strong growth in new characters, offering endearing, lighthearted moments while maintaining this book's status as the "Dark Avengers" of the X-Universe. Though Chris Bachalo's style took some getting used to for me with this title, his designs are really interesting and his willingness to use all of the space is nice. However, the panels that deal with a larger cast of characters can feel cluttered and distracting at times. Still, this is an X-title that has had some bumps but is really coming around.

Bottom Line: I expected just a little more from Bachalo's artwork, but it's still looks good enough, combined with the strong "this is who we are" focus on this installment, to make the whole thing work. 8 out of 10.