I'm One Step Closer to Being A Supervillain

So, I've decided to move The Blog to Wordpress sometime soon because Blogger and I don't always get along (sometimes, I tell it to do things and it has a nasty habit of not doing what I tell it). The only trouble is that if I'm going to have a new start, The Blog needs a new name. After all, it's bad luck to captain a new boat without a name. I mean, that was the whole moral of Forrest Gump, right? That's what I took from it. Well, that and maybe "True unconditional love is when you love someone despite the 70s."

Have I ever told you people how hard it is to name things? I mean, honestly, I didn't realize how hard it is to figure out what to call something when you're actually TRYING to name it. The first time I saw Avatar: The Last Airbender, I immediately knew...."Hey, that's Kung Fu Jesus." When I watched James Cameron's Avatar...you know, the Great Epic Space Opera About Tree Gods And Cat People That We've Never Seen Before Except When It Was A Disney Movie Called Pocahontas....I immediately knew to call it Pocahontas In Space. I'm just trying to come a name...Just A Fucking Name....and I got nothing. It's a little aggravating.

On my better days when I'm not doing the day job, this blog or writing for Black Nerd Problems, I moonlight as a blog consultant and I have this friend, a fellow blogger who is, more or less, MY unofficial consultant (by that, I mean there's all kinds of crazy shit on the internet and she's usually there to tell me when the crazy shit I discover has been there for years). I was talking out the whole "It's a little weird that I can't name something" thing the other day and.....

Me: I need to step up The Blog content. It's looking more and more like that's going to be the new name because I can't come up with a better one.

Friend: Well, that's cool.

Me: Amazingly enough, it's not taken as far as I can tell.

Friend: Wait....really?

Me: I shit you not. I typed in theblog.com and came up with nothing.

Friend: You typed it in...where?

Me: The first thing I do with random domain names I joke about is open up a new browser tab and type "whatever".com.

Friend: Nah, Oz, you need to go to a registrar. Go to GoDaddy. Aren't you a blog consultant?

Me: Hey, that doesn't have anything to do with this. I'm a blog consultant. Not a name consultant.

Friend: **sigh**

Me: Well, I'll be damned. It IS taken. Now, I want to find out who owns this name and troll the shit out of them.

Friend: For that, you go to whois.com.

Me: Oh, you REALLY shouldn't have shown me this.

Friend: Ha! Sorry.

Me: Are you?

Friend: No, I'm not.

Me: This is the sort of shit Morgan Freeman quit his job over in Dark Knight. #NoOneManShouldHaveAllThisPower

Friend: Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!!